Groucho Marx movie quotes

“- Rufus T. Firefly: You do suggest something. To me you suggest a baboon.
- Ambassador Trentino: What?!
- Rufus T. Firefly: I'm sorry I said that. It isn't fair to the rest of the baboons.”

Groucho Marx - Rufus T. Firefly
Louis Calhern - Ambassador Trentino

“- Otis B. Driftwood: Could he sail tomorrow?
- Fiorello: You pay him enough money, he could sail yesterday.”

Groucho Marx - Otis B. Driftwood
Chico Marx - Fiorello

“Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.”

Groucho Marx - Dr. Hackenbush

“It's a funny thing. I've met a lot of pin-up girls, but I've never been able to pin one down.”
Groucho Marx - Kornblow

“- Corbaccio: What you need is a good bodyguard.
- Ronald Kornblow: What I need is a good body. The one I've got isn't worth guarding.”
Chico Marx - Corbaccio
Groucho Marx - Kornblow

“After all, I'm a man and you're a woman... and I can't think of a better arrangement.”

Groucho Marx - Kornblow

“- Ronald Kornblow: You know, I think you're the most beautiful woman in the whole world.
- Beatrice Rheiner: Do you really?
- Ronald Kornblow: No, but I don't mind lying if it'll get me somewheres.”
Groucho Marx - Kornblow
Lisette Verea - Bea

“From now on the essence of this hotel will be speed. If a customer askes you for a three-minute egg, give it to him in two minutes. If he askes you for a two-minute egg, give it to him in one minute. If he askes you for a one-minute egg, give him the chicken and let him work it out for himself!”
Groucho Marx - Kornblow

“- Mr. Smythe: Sir, this lady is my wife. You should be ashamed.
- Ronald Kornblow: If this lady is your wife, you should be ashamed.”
Paul Harvey - Mr. Smythe
Groucho Marx - Kornblow

- "Flo": I want to be near you. I want you to hold me. Oh! Hold me closer! Closer! Closer!
- Dr. Hackenbush: If I hold you any closer, I'll be in back of you!
Esther Muir - "Flo"
Groucho Marx - Dr. Hackenbush

“- Mrs. Suzanna Dukesbury: We must have regard for certain conventions.
- J. Cheever Loophole: One guy isn't enough. She's gotta have a convention.”
Margaret Dumont - Mrs. Suzanna Dukesbury
Groucho Marx - J. Cheever Loophole

“- Harry Binelli: Hurry up, before they come back. And, groan, groan, stagger about and don't die too soon! You must take your time. And you mustn't die before 11 o'clock.
- Leo Davis: Don't you worry! I'll give you the best performance you ever saw in a hotel bedroom!
- Gordon Miller: That's the spirit! Good luck, Davis. Drop dead!”
Chico Marx - Harry Binelli
Frank Albertson - Leo Davis
Groucho Marx - Gordon Miller

“Folks, you are now in Cocoanut Manor, one of the finest cities in Florida. Of course, we still need a few finishing touches, but who doesn't?”
Groucho Marx - Hammer

“I'm not in business for love, you know. I was in love once and I got the business.”
Groucho Marx - S. Quentin Quale

“You're willing to pay him a thousand dollars a night just for singing? Why, you can get a phonograph record of Minnie the Moocher for 75 cents. And for a buck and a quarter, you can get Minnie.”
Groucho Marx - Otis B. Driftwood

“- Rufus T. Firefly: Do you realize our army is facing disastrous defeat? What do you intend to do about it?
- Chicolini: I've done it already.
- Rufus T. Firefly: You've done what?
- Chicolini: I've changed to the other side.”
Groucho Marx - Rufus T. Firefly
Chico Marx - Chicolini

“- Fiorello: I haven't heard anything yet. Did you say anything?
- Otis B. Driftwood: Well, I haven't said anything worth hearing.”

Chico Marx - Fiorello
Groucho Marx - Otis B. Driftwood

“You must fan the flames of love with the bellows of indifference.”
Groucho Marx - S. Quentin Quale

“Shhh. Money.”
Groucho Marx - Gordon Miller

“- Mrs. Potter: I don't think you'd love me if I were poor.
- Hammer: I might, but I'd keep my mouth shut.”
Margaret Dumont - Mrs. Potter
Groucho Marx - Hammer

“- Ambassador Trentino: I'm sorry we lost our tempers; I'm willing to forget if you are.
- Rufus T. Firefly: Forget? You ask me to forget? A Firefly never forgets.”
Louis Calhern - Ambassador Trentino
Groucho Marx - Rufus T. Firefly

“- Mrs. Gloria Teasdale: I was with him to the very end.
- Rufus T. Firefly: No wonder he passed away.”

Margaret Dumont - Mrs. Gloria Teasdale
Groucho Marx - Rufus T. Firefly

“I don't care what your past has been. To me, you'll always be my good woman. Because I love you.”

Groucho Marx - Otis B. Driftwood

“- Otis B. Driftwood: Have I got time to go back and pay my hotel bill?
- Captain: Sorry, too late.
- Otis B. Driftwood: That suits me fine.”

Groucho Marx - Otis B. Driftwood
Edward Keane - Captain

“- Captain Jeffrey Spaulding: I used to know a fellow who looked exactly like you by the name of Emanuel Ravelli. Are you his brother?
- Signor Emanuel Ravelli: I am Emanuel Ravelli.
- Captain Jeffrey Spaulding: Well, no wonder you look like him. But I still insist there is a resemblance.”
Groucho Marx - Captain Jeffrey Spaulding
Chico Marx - Signor Emanuel Ravelli