Woody Allen quotes
- From the movie: Mighty Aphrodite
“Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.”
- From the movie: Hollywood Ending
“The nicest thing about masturbation is afterward, the cuddling time.”
- From the movie: Scenes from a Mall
“- Nick: Am I the kind of guy who loses his temper?
- Deborah: Please! You smashed the mime in the jaw!
- Nick: I gave him 100 bucks...” - From the movie: Stardust Memories
“- Sam: I had two heart attacks before I got the bicycle.
- Sandy Bates: And since then?
- Sam: I also had two.” - From the movie: Manhattan
“- Isaac: I got a kid, he's being raised by two women at the moment.
- Mary: I mean I think that works. They made some studies, I read in one of the psychoanalytic quarterlies. You don't need a male, I mean. Two mothers are absolutely fine.
- Isaac: Really? Because I always feel very few people survive one mother.” - From the movie: Anything Else
“There's nothing wrong with being afraid. We were meant to be afraid. That's why you gotta build a survival kit!”
- From the movie: Stardust Memories
- From the movie: A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy
“I wonder if geniuses have problems with their sex lives.”
- From the movie: Mighty Aphrodite
- From the movie: Anything Else
“You're a writer, you have a gift. You should have a girlfriend who's helpful and encouraging.”
- From the movie: Scenes from a Mall
“- Nick: I don't know how our marriage lasted.
- Deborah: Mutual death wish.” - From the movie: Anything Else
“Have you ever dialed 9-1-1? It's like trying to get a mortgage.”
“Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.”
“If it turns out that there is a God I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.”
- From the movie: Mighty Aphrodite
“- Lenny Weinrib: He's dicking around in agriculture.
- Linda Ash: What's wrong with his dick?” - From the movie: Mighty Aphrodite
“- Lenny Weinrib: I'm completely superfluous.
- Kevin: Oh, you don't feel good?” - From the movie: Manhattan
“I came here to strangle you!”
- From the movie: Everyone Says I Love You
“- Steffi: Over the years I often wondered what would have happened if we stayed together.
- Joe: That's something we never gonna know. We've managed to produce a fabulous daughter though. She got your looks, fortunately, and my... magic personality.” - From the movie: Broadway Danny Rose
“- Tina Vitale: They shot him in the eyes.
- Danny Rose: Oh my God, he's blind?
- Tina Vitale: He's dead...
- Danny Rose: Of course, the bullets would go right through...” - From the movie: Anything Else
“Never trust a guy who fumbles for the check, you know who wants to get the check, gets it.”
- From the animation: Antz
“The question is not, 'How could this happen?' but 'Why doesn't this happen more often?'”
“Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.”
Highlights