Advice quotes

“- Diana Barrie: You should have never given it up, Sidney.
- Sidney Cochran: What?
- Diana Barrie: Acting! Christ, you were good. You had more promise than anyone.”
Maggie Smith - Diana Barrie
Sir Michael Caine - Sidney Cochran

“Don't get dead.”
Angelina Jolie - Casella "Cash" Reese

- Mrs. John Day - Peggy: Listen to the wheels, don't they seem to be saying something?
- Mrs. Stephen Haines - Mary: No.
- Mrs. John Day - Peggy: Don't they seem to be saying "Go back, go back, go back, go back?".

Joan Fontaine - Mrs. John Day - Peggy
Norma Shearer - Mrs. Stephen Haines - Mary

“- Matt: Isn't part of the priestly thing giving relationship advice?
- John: Relationship advice, yes - sex advice, no. Part of the priestly thing is not to have sex, remember?
- Matt: It's funny. I didn't say a thing about sex. I guess thinking about sex is part of the priestly thing, at least for some.”
Josh Hartnett - Matt
Adam Trese - John

“Remember, boys! Stay away from women! All they want from you is your man-juice! If you ever get the kind of urges that cannot be supressed by hard liquor, then use this!
[shows his right hand]”
R. Lee Ermey - Coach

“- Vietnam Veteran: I'm going to tell you something I wish someone would have told me when I was your age.
- Chrissy: Oh yeah? What's that?
- Vietnam Veteran: Your parents aren't always right.
- Samantha: No shit.”
Brendan Fraser - Vietnam Veteran
Rita Wilson - Chrissy
Demi Moore - Samantha

“There comes a time in every son's life when he must, indeed, follow his father's advice: I shall go to bed at once.”
Rupert Everett - Lord Arthur Goring

“- Jack Slater: My hand. It really hurts.
- Danny Madigan: Things work different here. You can't smash a car window with your bare hand and not have it hurt.
- Jack Slater: Thanks for sharing. Couldn't you have told me this earlier?”

Arnold Schwarzenegger - Jack Slater
Austin O'Brien - Danny Madigan

“- Reverend Mr. Carmichael: All I can suggest is that you get down on your knees and pray.
- Shanghai Lily: I think that you're right, if God is still on speaking terms with me.”
Lawrence Grant - Reverend Mr. Carmichael
Marlene Dietrich - Shanghai Lily

“Another piece of motherly advice. Don't confide in your girlfriends. If you let them advise you, they will see to it, in the name of friendship, that you lose your husband and your home.”

Lucile Watson - Mrs. Morehead

“- Jack McGurn: I agree to hand out a bundle of leaflets, and you act as if I'm going out to kill someone.
- Lily Yuriko Kawamura: Because you know one thing will lead to another, and it'll make you crazy. You can't spit against Heaven, Jack!
- Jack McGurn: Oh, don't give me that Japanese shit!”
Dennis Quaid - Jack McGurn
Tamlyn Tomita - Lily Yuriko Kawamura

“Remember my dear, they only want one thing. Maybe they want it more than once, but it's still only one thing.”

Judith Ivey - Celine's Mom

“Bring Tania over here. Marry her. What's wrong with her? When I say marry her, you damn well do it. Be nice to her, pressure off my fucking head. Your penis works, doesn't it? Get going!”

Saeed Jaffrey - Uncle Nasser

“Between you and me, let me tell you somethin'. Don't ever put a woman up on a pedestal. Cuz it'll just give her a chance to kick your teeth right down your throat.”

Gary Busey - The Ballplayer

“- Kid on Rooftop: Just go down there and tell her how you feel. My mom always says...
- Hellboy: It's not... it's not that easy. Plus, you're nine. You're not old enough to be giving me advice.”

Rory Copus - Kid on Rooftop
Ronald Francis Perlman - Hellboy

- Jim Levenstein: Was I any good that night?
- Michelle Flaherty: Jeez how could I forget? You sucked. You didn't know what the hell you were doing. But wasn't it fun even though you were so terrible?
- Jim Levenstein: I'm sorry, "terrible"?
- Michelle Flaherty: I've had worse.
- Jim Levenstein: Oh.
- Michelle Flaherty: Oh, sorry. I just...... (continue)(continue reading)
Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein
Alyson Hannigan - Michelle Flaherty

“- Megamaid Guard: What the hell are you doing?
- Lone Starr: The Vulcan neck pinch?
- Megamaid Guard: No, no, no, stupid, you've got it much too high. It's down here where the shoulder meets the neck.
- Lone Starr: [changes hand position] Like this?
- Megamaid Guard: Yeah! [falls to the ground]”
Tom Dreesen - Megamaid Guard
Bill Pullman - Lone Starr

“There are very few of us who have met a Necromonger and lived to speak of it. So when I choose to speak of it, you should choose to listen.”

Dame Judi Dench - Aereon

“Put some pepper spray in your purse. Even if you're not sure, just start spraying.”

John Goodman - Bill Sanford

“- Gaston Monescu: If Casanova suddenly turned out to be Romeo having supper with Juliet, who might become Cleopatra, how would you start?
- Waiter in Venice: I would start with cocktails.”
Herbert Marshall - Gaston Monescu
George Humbert - Waiter in Venice

“All right, remember: alcohol equals puke, equals smelly mess, equals nobody likes you!”
Adam Sandler - Robbie Hart

“- Lord Arthur Goring: Shouldn't you be in bed, Miss Mabel?
- Miss Mabel Chiltern: Lord Goring!
- Lord Arthur Goring: My father always tells me to go to bed, so I don't see why I shouldn't give you the same advice. I always pass on good advice. It is the only sensible thing to do with it.”
Rupert Everett - Lord Arthur Goring
Minnie Driver - Miss Mabel Chiltern

“Never ignore a man's courtesy.”
Philip Baker Hall - Sydney

You know that Julie chick? Loves you. You want her? Gotta play it cool, you know. You can't let her know how much you like her cause if she knows, she'll dump you like that. Believe me. Like, if she asks you if you want a ride, you say, "No, I've got my own ride, but maybe I'll see you later". Sounds stupid, doesn't it? It works.
Sasha Jenson - Don Dawson

“- Ann Bishop Mullany: So let me see, you said, um, you said that I should never take advice from someone that I haven't had sex with, right... right?
- Graham Dalton: Basically.
- Ann Bishop Mullany: Right. And, uh, we haven't had sex... right?
- Graham Dalton: So...
- Ann Bishop Mullany: So, I, I, I guess from your own advice, I shouldn't take...” (continue)(continue reading)
Andie MacDowell - Ann Bishop Mullany
James Spader - Graham Dalton