Advice quotes

“It's against my religion to give out personal advice, but you should either sober up or get real drunk.”
Connie Nielsen - Renata Crest

I'm gonna give you a little advice about life. You follow this and you won't be sorry. "Don't screw with your brains, don't think with your dick". That's from the heart.
Burt Young - Georgie

“- Castor Troy: Do you have protection?
- Jamie Archer: Protection? You mean like condoms?
- Castor Troy: Protection. Next time, let Carl take his pants down, slip this in his thigh, twist it. So the wound won't close...”

John Travolta - Castor Troy
Dominique Swain - Jamie Archer

“Half a tick, Mr. Holmes. You can't go walking into someone's residence, poking about their personal possessions, disrupting their privacy... that's for Scotland Yard.”
Jeffrey Jones - Inspector Lestrade

“It is far easier to whisper advice from cover than to risk its merit at the point of attack.”
Peter O'Toole - Willingham

“I'm not so good with the advice... Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?”
Matthew Perry - Chandler Bing

“- Judith Browns: You just put the gun to your forehead and pull the trigger.
- Gerald Bringsley: If you put it in your mouth, then you'd be sure not to miss.
- David Kessler: Thank you, you're all so thoughtful.”

Brenda Cavendish - Judith Browns
Michael Carter - Gerald Bringsley
David Naughton - David Kessler

“- Edgar Frog: You did the right thing by calling us. Does your brother sleep a lot?
- Sam Emerson: Yeah, all day.
- Alan Frog: Does the sunlight freak him out?
- Sam Emerson: Uh, he wears sunglasses in the house.
- Edgar Frog: Bad breath, long fingernails?
- Sam Emerson: Yeah, his fingernails are a little bit longer, um, he always had bad breath...” (continue)(continue reading)
Corey Feldman - Edgar Frog
Corey Haim - Sam
Jamison Newlander - Alan Frog

When I said "Write up a report", I wanted you to go out there in the field and listen to what those Allenville protestors had to say! Not make some lunatic suggestion!

Jane Seymour - Jane Caldwell

“Remember this, Hobbes: what goes around really goes around.”

Elias Koteas - Edgar Reese

“I'm sorry, Mr. Brown, but this man is no clown. He knows all your moves, back to front. Right now, you've got a name; that's all you've got. So, the Jackal's got a target, you. He's got a timetable. And as to making mistakes, he's spent twenty years in a trade that doesn't forgive error.”

Richard Tiffany Gere - Declan Mulqueen

“Do you? Well, you're right. I can only bring her unhappiness. Well, warn her. Speak up, man. It's your last chance.”

Cary Grant - Johnnie Aysgarth

“You should never kill a man unless it's absolutely necessary.”
Clint Eastwood - Bronco Billy

“Just remember, I can't hear you when you're lying.”
Stacy Edwards - Christine

“Honey if you call and I'm not home I'll be at the gym or the gun club.”
Michael Keaton - Jack

“- Pierre: Did he say chateau? Surely they are not staying at the Chateau of the Bad Neighbor.
- Marcie: Yes they are, Mal Voisin.
- Pierre: But that is terrible! They cannot stay there!
- Patty: Why not, Pierre?
- Pierre: They could be in great danger!”
Pascale de Barolet - Pierre
Casey Carlson - Marcie
Roseline Rubens - Patty

“A little word of advice, my friend. Sometimes you gotta let those hard-to-reach chips go.”

Brian O'Halloran - Dante Hicks

“- Richard Myles: The less you know, or appear to know, the better.
- Frances Myles: That's what my mother told me the night I came out in Boston.”
Fred MacMurray - Richard Myles
Joan Crawford - Frances Myles

“- Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
- Dr. Raymond Stantz: Total protonic reversal!
- Dr. Peter Venkman: Right. That's bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.”

Harold Ramis - Dr. Egon Spengler
Dan Aykroyd - Dr. Raymond Stantz
Bill Murray - Dr. Peter Venkman

“You're very brave. But also not very bright. If I were you, I'd be looking for the other half of the ticket.”

Sir Ian McKellen - Death

“If you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter.”
Eve Arden - Principal McGee

“Back off Warchild, seriously.”
Patrick Swayze - Bodhi

“- Stephen Simmons: I've been gone for a long time Lidia, we just giving each other other a little space right now.
- Lidia Joanne Simmons: Well you better start crowding her, Dad! You gotta put your arms around that woman every once in a while or she's gonna think you don't like her no more! Now, I'm giving you this advice cause I can see that...” (continue)(continue reading)
Kevin Costner - Stephen Simmons
Lexi Randall - Lidia Joanne Simmons

“Beware of Hong Kong mosquito with high heels.”
Jackie Chan - Billy Wong

“- Oscar Madison: I know I haven't been there a lot for you, Brucey, but this is the best advice I'll ever give you, not getting married today is the right thing for you to do.
- Brucey Madison: Maybe it's right for you, it's wrong for me! You tell everybody I'm getting dressed.
- Oscar Madison: Thank God you said that. I wasn't sure how long I...” (continue)(continue reading)
Walter Matthau - Oscar Madison
Jonathan Silverman - Brucey Madison