Animals quotes

“What are you trying to do, wake everybody in the house? Of all the screwball ideas. Fighting with stuffed animals.”
Mel Blanc - Porky Pig

We both spent our whole lives chasing after that beast and we both had to stare at ourselves in the mirror every morning and keep repeating "I am not a fool. I am not a fool".
David Suchet - Jacques Lafleur

“- Bert: I'm gonna go shoot some squirrels.
- Paul: Why would you wanna kill squirrels?
- Bert: 'cause they're gay... I'm kidding. I don't care if they're gay or straight, I'll kill 'em either way.”
James DeBello - Bert
Rider Strong - Paul

“I feed them the whole pharmacy. Heartburn, ulcers, blood pressure. They're immune to everything now. The oldest living Confederates in America.”

Nina Foch - Alice Baring

“I was so bored once that I fucked a dog.”
Gary Leonard Oldman - Sid Vicious

“- Blade: A rodeo clown is the most dangerous job in the world! He's the one that gets closest to the bull. He gets the best of the bull! Hook to the left! Hook to the side! If the bull rider is in danger, he's gotta protect him! Even if it means gettin' his ribs pulled out and bein' freight-trained.
- Harry Monroe: Freight-trained!
- Blade:...” (continue)(continue reading)
Charles Weldon - Blade
Richard Pryor - Harry Monroe

“- George Henderson: He walked into our kitchen and was eating out of our refrigerator. I thought we was gonna eat me, but he ate our daughter's corsage and our passiflora coccinea, then it ate our goldfish!
- Sergeant Mancini: Where is he now, Mr. Henderson?
- George Henderson: In the bathroom.”

John Lithgow - George Henderson
William Ontiveros - Sgt. Mancini

“The only unconditional love I've ever know has been from bunnies. When no else wanted to spend time with a little crippled boy, bunnies would. And now one of them has had it's flame snuffed out like a candle in the wind.”
Sam Huntington - Dinkadoo Murphy

“Ugly one-horned mule!”

“- Vincent Cadby: Something wrong, Mr. Ventura?
- Ace Ventura: Of course not. This is a lovely room of death.”

Simon Callow - Vincent Cadby
Jim Carrey - Ace Venura

“- Mr. Morgan: What's he doing?
- Mrs. Morgan: I think he's tracking a fly.”

Richard Masur - Mr. Morgan
Mariette Hartley - Mrs. Morgan

“If there's one thing I hate more than elephants in the house, it's rats!”
Joan Gerber - Mrs. Beakley

“We will now present for your entertainment the most stupendous, magnificent, super-colossal spectacle! On this tiny, little, insignificant ball, we will construct for you a pyramid! Not of wood, not of stone... pyramid, of ponderous, pulsating, pulchritudinous pachyderms!”
Herman Bing - The Ringmaster

“Do you know that the leading cause of death for beavers is falling trees?”
Nicole Kidman - Silvia Broome

“I killed a bear once. I didn't like it much.”
Eric Allan Kramer - Sgt. Henry Bardshar

“All I know about walruses is that, out of all mammals, they have the second largest penis. I have the first.”
Dan Aykroyd - Dr. Keats

“- Private Hudson: Maybe it's like an ant-hive?
- Private Vasquez: Bees, man. Bees have hives!”

Bill Paxton - Private Hudson
Jenette Goldstein - Private Vasquez

“- Ray Boyd: D'you know that bees and dogs can smell fear?
- Jerry Maguire: Did you know that the career record for hits is 4,256 by Pete Rose who is not in the Hall of Fame?
- Ray Boyd: D'you know that my next door neighbor has three rabbits?
- Jerry Maguire: I... I can't compete with that!”
Jonathan Lipnicki - Ray Boyd
Tom Cruise - Jerry Maguire

“- Sarah Harding: I'm sick of scratching around in rock and bone, making assumptions about the nurturing habits of animals that have been dead for 65 million years. Then you fill my head with stories. Of course I came down here.
- Ian Malcolm: Stories of mutilation and death.”
Julianne Moore - Sarah Harding
Jeff Goldblum - Ian Malcolm

“- Slartibartfast: Earthman, you must realize that the planet you lived on was commissioned, paid for and run by mice.
- Arthur Dent: When you say mice, do you mean the little furry white creatures with whiskers, ears, cheese?”
Bill Nighy - Slartibartfast
Martin Freeman - Arthur Dent

“You know what's gonna happen to you? I am gonna march you over to the zoo and feed you to the yak.”
Dorothy Whitney - Mag Wildwood

“It looks safe. Come on. Come on! It's empty! Nothin' in here but a pig, and he sure don't care.”

John Cusack - Harry

“- Ray: Today Denny got bit by a rat. We had to give him rabies shot.
- Frenchy: Who, the rat?”
Woody Allen - Ray
Tracey Ullman - Frenchy

“- Stuart Little: Can I scratch your ears? I could rub your tummy.
- Snowbell: How'd you like to rub it from the inside, mouse-boy?
- Stuart Little: I'm a little confused. I thought that's what you did with a pet.
- Snowbell: A Pet? I am not your pet! I'm a cat, you're a mouse. You should be livin' in a hole. This is my family.
- Stuart Little:...” (continue)(continue reading)
Michael J. Fox - Stuart Little
Nathan Lane - Snowbell

“We should never try to deny the beast, the animal within us.”
Patrick Macnee - Dr. George Waggner