Christmas quotes

“- Abby: It's... Charlie.
- Santa Claus: Sheen? I thought he straightened out?
- Abby: Not that Charlie.
- Santa Claus: My Charlie. My son Charlie? He's on the naughty list? There's gotta be a mistake.”

Danielle Woodman - Abby
Tim Allen - Santa Claus

“- Charlie Arglist: It's Christmas! Everyone's nice on Christmas!
- Vic Cavanaugh: Only morons are nice on Christmas.”
John Cusack - Charlie Arglist
Billy Bob Thornton - Vic Cavanaugh

Oh, I heard about him. They call him the Santa Claus Crook or the Santa Claus Crip or something like that. He robbed a lady out in the parking lot last night, called her a "ho ho ho" and kept on running.
Sommore - Cookie

“Christmas Eve is the scariest damn night of the year!”
Will Hare - Grandpa

“You can mess with a lot of things, but you can't mess with kids on Christmas.”
Macaulay Culkin - Kevin McCallister

“You say you hate Washington's Birthday or Thanksgiving and nobody cares, but you say you hate Christmas and people treat you like you're a leper.”
Phoebe Cates - Kate Beringer

- Lumiere: Master, we all understand how you feel about Christmas. But when a woman gives a man a gift, she's saying, "I care about you".
- Beast: But I don't have a gift for her.
- Lumiere: It's not too late.
Jerry Orbach - Lumiere
Robby Benson - Beast

“- Maurice Doyle: Daddy, where's the carriages?
- Desmond Doyle: Santa was a bit strapped for cash this year. Costs a lot of money to feed those elves, you know.”

Hugh McDonagh - Maurice Doyle
Pierce Brosnan - Desmond Doyle

“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! And when I wake up, I'm gettin' a CAT scan!”

Tim Allen - Scott Calvin

“Hello? Who? Oh. Listen, bitch, I'll get the kid a few toys for Christmas, so don't bug me! Yeah, I know it's only a few days till Christmas, what do you think? Think I live under a rock or something?”

Bob Jones - Grover

“As long as there's Christmas, I truly believe that hope is the greatest of the gifts we receive.”

Bernadette Peters - Angelique

“- Kid: I wished for a purple elephant, but now I want a pink elephant!
- Willie: Wish in one hand, shit in the other; see which one fills up first.”
Brett Kelly - Kid
Billy Bob Thornton - Willie

“I'm sorry but I have had it! I have never heard of such a Christmas! Sex... and drugs... an-an-and women being set on fire!”
Christine Baranski - Connie

“- Robin McCall: It's Christmas.
- Lewis Rothschild: It's Christmas?
- Leon Kodak: Yeah. You didn't get the memo?”
Anna Deavere Smith - Robin McCall
Michael J. Fox - Lewis Rothschild

“- Hattie Anderson: Do you really want to do this?
- Bill Firpo: Do what?
- Hattie Anderson: You know rob the bank.
- Dave Firpo: Absolutely! We have thought this over and we've made a decision!
- Hattie Anderson: But on Christmas Eve, it just doesn't seem right. You're going to ruin the winter fest.”
Angela Paton - Hattie Anderson
Nicolas Cage - Bill Firpo
Jon Lovitz - Dave Firpo

“- Sally: I had the most terrible vision.
- Jack Skellington: That's splendid!
- Sally: No, it was about your Christmas. There was smoke... and fire!
- Jack Skellington: That's not my Christmas! My Christmas is filled with laughter, and joy... and this: my Sandy Claws outfit. I want you to make it.”
Catherine O'Hara - Sally
Danny Elfman - Jack Skellington

“I'm glad he took our presents. You can't hurt Christmas, Mr. Mayor, beacuse it isn't about the... the gifts or the contest or the fancy lights. That's what Cindy's been trying to tell everyone... and me. I don't need anything more for Christmas than this right here: my family.”

Taylor Momsen - Cindy Lou Who

“You sit on a throne of lies!”

Will Ferrell - Buddy

“Saving Christmas is a lousy ending! Way too commercial.”
Jim Carrey - Grinch

“May all your Christmases be white. Merry Christmas!”

Danny Kaye - Phil Davis
Bob Wallace - Bob Wallace
Rosemary Clooney - Betty Haynes
Vera-Ellen - Judy Haynes

“Howard, I'm of the mind set you can never do too much to make a child's Christmas magical.”
Phil Hartman - Ted Maltin

“We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup.”
Will Ferrell - Buddy

“Heaven and a... fuck all that shit! Y'all hos gotta get up off the corner with that. ”
Mike Epps - Day-Day

“- George: Hey Jack, ever get a boner? You know, an erector.
- Jack Powell: Not yet, I'm hoping to get one for Christmas.”
Mario Yedidia - George
Robin Williams - Jack Powell

“He likes giving gifts... but not at Christmas.”
Michael Kitchen - Berkeley