Doctors quotes

“You are not a Doctor in here. And even if you the tell the truth... no one will listen. You know why? Because you're crazy. And the more you try to prove them wrong, the crazier you'll appear. You are invisible now. Can you feel it?”

Penelope Cruz - Chloe Sava

“- Dallas: Don't slap the baby.
- Doc Holliday: Okay... why would I slap the baby?
- Dallas: I don't know, but most doctors do. It's a custom I'm not in favor of. Nobody comes into this world looking for a fight. You go get 'em!”
Elizabeth Ashley - Dallas
Willie Nelson - Doc Holliday

“My first patient was a frog, I cured him of jumping. Now I can cure people of breathing.”
Robert Downey Jr. - Merivel

“- Skip Skipperton: You've fallen in love with one of your patients? Doc! It's not me, is it?
- Dr. Mumford: What? No, Skip. It's not you, but I like you a lot.”
Jason Lee - Skip Skipperton
Loren Dean - Mumford

- UN Delegate: So, Mr. Evil...
- Dr. Evil: It's Dr. Evil, I didn't spend six years in Evil Medical School to be called "mister", thank you very much.
John Michael - UN Delegate
Mike Myers - Dr. Evil

“- Carl Taylor: What does a phrenologist feel and interpret?
- James St. James: The size of Walt's asshole. A phrenologist feels and interprets the bumps on your head. Skull features.”

Charlie Sheen - Carl Taylor
Emilio Estevez - James St. James

- Dr. Kersten: Funky, buttloving!
- George: Did he say "funky buttloving?"
Ross Lehman - Dr. Kersten
Patrick LaBrecque - George

“I did not come to medical school to murder my classmates, no matter how deranged they might be.”

Oliver Platt - Randy Steckle

“When the doctors start acting like businessmen, who do the people turn to for doctors?”
Ken Jenkins - Dr. Dennis Donohue

“The operations seems to be a success. But the doctor died.”
David Warner - Dr. Alfred Necessiter

“- Mrs. White: Oh, you're a doctor?
- Professor Plum: I am, but I don't practice.
- Miss Scarlet: Practice makes perfect. Ha! I think most men need a little practice, don't you Mrs. Peacock?”
Madeline Kahn - Mrs. White
Chris Lloyd - Professor Plum
Lesley Ann Warren - Miss Scarlet

“Wait! We're doctors! We don't want to hurt you, we just want some organs!”

- - Doctor

“- Lex: Just because she's a female gynecologist, doesn't mean she's a lesbian. And even if she was, at least my mom didn't give birth to me while she was on LSD.
- Trip: 'Shrooms!”
Giuseppe Andrews - Lex
James DeBello - Trip

“- Olsen: I appreciate you letting me observe that brain operation today.
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: It would have been more complicated if it had needed one, but since you wanted to observe my technique...”
Francis X. McCarthy - Olsen
Steve Martin - Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr

“- Dr. Einstein: I cannot operate without a drink!
- Jonathan Brewster: Pull yourself together, doctor!
- Dr. Einstein: I cannot pull myself together without a drink!”
Peter Lorre - Dr. Einstein
Raymond Massey - Jonathan Brewster

“- Tiny Patient: Say, doctor, do you really think I'm gonna get better?
- Dr. Moe Howard: I'm very sorry, but I'm afraid you are.”
"Little Billy" Rhodes - Tiny Patient
Moe Howard - Dr. Moe Howard

“- Mrs. Crisp: What kind of doctor are you?
- Dr. Mumford: Ph.D. in psychology.
- Mrs. Crisp: Oh. Not a real doctor.
- Dr. Mumford: That's right, the fake kind.”
Dana Ivey - Mrs. Crisp
Loren Dean - Mumford

Who was it that said, "When a doctor sees a man, he doesn't see good or evil, only sick or healthy?".
David Duchovny - Dr. Eugene Sands

“We need to start treating the patient as well as the disease.”
Robin Williams - Patch Adams

“- Kathleen Strauss: For a doctor, you really are not very helpful.
- Dr. Marlowe: Who says I'm a good doctor?”
Kristin Lehman - Kathleen Strauss
Rutger Hauer - Dr. Marlowe

“- Dr. T: I think every single woman I've ever met has got somethin' special about her, somethin' that sets her apart from the rest.
- Bree Davis: Well, if a gynecologist says there's no two alike, I guess there's no two alike!”
Richard Tiffany Gere - Dr. T.
Helen Hunt - Bree

“There's no reason to shoot at me, I'm a dentist.”
Alan Arkin - Sheldon Kornpett

“- Edward Douglas: Are you a doctor?
- Montgomery: Well, I'm more of a vet.”
David Thewlis - Edward Douglas
Val Kilmer - Montgomery

“- Jack Putter: Did you hear that?
- Waiting Room Patient: Hear what?
- Jack Putter: You didn't hear that then?
- Waiting Room Patient: No, I'm sorry, I didn't hear anything. Are you feeling all right?
- Jack Putter: Would I be in a doctor's office if I was feeling all right?”

Martin Hayter Short - Jack Putter
Andrea Martin - Waiting Room Patient

“The streets are not like the ER. There's no walls, no controls.”

Nicolas Cage - Frank Pierce