Doctors quotes

“- Rocco Melonchek: We'll have to perform a full rectum-ology.
- Roland T. Flakfizer: Fondue, an epidemic! Drop those pants... Not you, the patient.
- Doctor: I thought you were cardiologists...
- Rocco Melonchek: Uh, well, they're all connected, we enter the rectum and head north.
- Roland T. Flakfizer: Why do you think we have such long...” (continue)(continue reading)
Mel Smith - Rocco Melonchek
John Turturro - Roland T. Flakfizer

“For one reason or another I'm more screwed up than you people are.”

Bruce Willis - Bill Capa

“- Dr. Seward: Count Dracula, allow me to introduce Professor Abraham Van Helsing of London University. He's a doctor of rare diseases as well as theology and philosophy.
- Professor Van Helsing: And gynaecology.
- Dr. Seward: Oh, I didn't know you had your hand in that, too.”
Harvey Korman - Dr. Seward
Mel Brooks - Abraham Van Helsing

“Why are you calling an ambulance? She's dead.”

Christian Slater - Robert Boyd

“You never seen a medical student before?”

Matthew Modine - Joe Slovak

“- Dr. Nancy Faulkner: Do you have another doctor?
- Bill: I gave them up when I decided to try for old age.”
Julie Cobb - Dr. Nancy Faulkner
George Burns - Bill

“- Mitch: I don't mean to be rude, but aren't you a little old to be starting medical school?
- Patch Adams: You know, Babe Ruth was 39 when he joined the Yankees.
- Mitch: No, he wasn't!
- Patch Adams: I know. If you have a better example, please tell me.”
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Mitch
Robin Williams - Patch Adams

“The doctor, what's he gonna tell me? Can't trade my head in for a new one.”
John Goodman - Charlie Meadows

“- Tony Giardino: What are you doing? Wake up!
- Pilot: Oh man! I was having an amazing dream!
- Tony Giardino: I don't care about your dream! Land the plane!
- Pilot: I was just born, and... I was eight-and-a-half months premature. The doctors were freakin' out.”

Anthony LaPaglia - Tony Giardino
Steven Alexander Wright - Pilot

“I was a damn good shrink. Nineteen years I worked with a lot of people through a lot of shit. I loved being a doctor. I used to not charge half my patients. Then the fucking state comes along, they send in some bitch undercover, and I'm fucked. Life isn't fair, is it?”
Robin Williams - Doctor Cozy Carlisle

“- Gertrud: Get a doctor!
- Dr. Josef Mengele: I am a doctor, idiot.
- Gertrud: Don't you come near him!
- Dr. Josef Mengele: Shut up, you ugly bitch.”

Monica Gearson - Gertrud
Gregory Peck - Dr. Josef Mengele

“Doctors are sadists who like to play God and watch lesser people scream.”
Allison Janney - Bren MacGuff

“- Seymour Flint: I guess I can do a lot of people some good, can't I?
- Grace Quigley: I told you, Seymour. Think of yourself as a doctor. A doctor saves the lives of those who want to live, you take the lives of those who want to die.”
Nick Nolte - Seymour Flint
Katharine Hepburn - Grace Quigley

“- Alex Terson: You look bad.
- Lillian Reynolds: Thanks.
- Alex Terson: You want a Doctor?
- Lillian Reynolds: I am a doctor!”
Cliff Robertson - Alex Terson
Louise Fletcher - Lillian Reynolds

“- Dr. Pomatter: I want to talk to you, somewhere outside of here. Maybe we can have a coffee or something?
- Jenna: I can't have coffee, it's on the bad food list you gave to me. What kind of doctor are you?”
Nathan Fillion - Dr. Jim Pomatter
Keri Russell - Jenna Hunterson

“People die everyday. And for what? For nothing. What do we do? What do you do? You take care of the ones you think you can save.”

Gene Hackman - Dr. Lawrence Myrick

“- DC Cop: The Feds are looking for him, too. Real nice business he's got?
- Agent Fox Mulder: What's that?
- DC Cop: Selling naked pictures of little kids on his computer. You looking for him for some other reason?
- Agent Fox Mulder: Yeah. I had an appointment for a pelvic examination.”

Larry Joshua - DC Cop
David Duchovny - Agent Fox Mulder

“- Egbert Sousé: Hello, Doc. How are ya? How's business?
- Dr. Stall: Fair, fair. I don't suppose we'll ever get another whooping cough epidemic again.”
W.C. Fields - Egbert Sousé
Harlan Briggs - Dr. Stall

“- The Ringo Kid: That was my kid brother that broke his arm. You did a good job, Doc, even if you were drunk.
- Dr. Josiah Boone: Thank you, son. Professional compliments are always pleasing.”
John Wayne - The Ringo Kid
Thomas Mitchell - Dr. Josiah Boone

“Those doctors are savages. I mean, where does it say that a gunshot wound requires a rectal exam?”

Joe Pesci - Leo Getz

“I wanted to become a doctor so I could serve others. And because of that, I've lost everything. But I've also gained everything.”
Robin Williams - Patch Adams

“- Whitmore: The doctor seems reluctant to discuss his medical experiences.
- Dr. Hackenbush: Medically, my experiences have been most unexciting. Except during the flu epidemic.
- Whitmore: What happened?
- Dr. Hackenbush: I got the flu.”
Leonard Ceeley - Whitmore
Groucho Marx - Dr. Hackenbush

“- Bugs Bunny: Is there anything we can get for you, old chap?
- Daffy Duck: Yes. Get me a proctologist, right away.”

Mel Blanc - Bugs Bunny
Mel Blanc - Daffy Duck

“- Ben: What are you doing?
- Kevin: Relax. I'm a doctor.
- Ben: Yeah, well, not to pry, doc, but why are you shaving my balls?”
Jimmy Fallon - Ben
Willie Garson - Kevin

“I'm a doctor, not a space explorer.”
Heather Graham - Dr. Judy Robinson