Insult quotes

“- Mr. Henry: I don't mean to offend you, Bob. But your brother's a cocksucker. Does that offend you?
- Bob Mapplethorpe: No, that didn't offend me.
- Mr. Henry: Good.”
James Caan - Mr. Henry
Robert Musgrave - Bob Mapplethorpe

“Right now, I'm trying to figure out which one of you looks the most like my dick. If you got something to say, say it. Otherwise get the fuck outta here.”

Damon Wayans - Jimmy Dix

“I think you're incapable of any emotion higher up than your stomach!”

Bette Davis - Maggie Cutler

“- Lois Griffin as Princess Leia: Aren't you a little fat to be a stormtrooper?
- Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker: Well, stay here and rot, you stuck-up bitch!”

Alex Borstein - Lois Griffin as Princess Leia
Seth Green - Chris Griffin as Luke Skywalker

“One must never pardon an insult, but may freely give one.”
Fredric March - Count Vronsky

If the Mario brothers weren't New Jersey's third-largest crime family, I'd say, "Kiss my ass". But considering your status, I will say "Slurp my butt".

Bruce Willis - Hudson Hawk

“- Thasi: You're no ordinary fighter.
- Jake Donahue: Thanks... I'll add you to my personal fan club.
- Thasi: It's not meant to be a compliment.”
Ong Soo Han - Thasi
Loren Avedon - Jake Donahue

“- Casey Mathis: These assholes are trying to steal my iPhone!
- David Clark: Wait, you have an iPhone? Aren't you homeless?
- Casey Mathis: So? Fuck you, dude!”
Emma Roberts - Casey Mathis
Jason Sudeikis - David Clark

“- The Chief: Hey you, fat fucking barrel ass sow.
- Secretary: What now? Are you stuck in that god damn chair again?
- The Chief: Get Cox in here.
- Secretary: Got it, Chief. Do you want it in your ass or in your mouth?”
John G. Brennan - The Chief

You're a "genius" at everything but minding your own business, aren't you?

Gene Kelly - Danny McGuire

“- Thor: I thought humans were more evolved than this.
- Nick Fury: Excuse me, did we come to your planet and blow stuff up?”
Chris Hemsworth - Thor
Samuel L. Jackson - Nick Fury

“We want a pitcher not an underwear snitcher!”
Thomas Ian Nicholas - Henry Rowengartner

“- Zeus Carver: Say it! Say it!
- John McClane: What?
- Zeus Carver: You were gonna call me a nigger, weren't you?
- John McClane: No I wasn't!
- Zeus Carver: Yes you were! What were you gonna call me?
- John McClane: Asshole! How's that, asshole!”
Samuel L. Jackson - Zeus Carver
Bruce Willis - John McClane

“Gino, you and I know you're a whore. Just a poor old whore who bellies up for any crook with two bucks. A whore and a thief. As far as I'm concerned you only have two options. You cooperate with us, you make the calls, or you go to jail with the other thieves. I don't even want to think about the third option.”
Bob Balaban - Santimassino

“Pardon my French, General, but, you're full of shit!”
George Kennedy - Gen. George S. Patton

“- Reporter: Would you like to give us a word or two?
- Kitty Baxter: I'll give you three: go to hell.”
Sean Wayne Doyle - Reporter
Lucy Liu - Kitty Baxter

“- Myra Langtry: I'm Roy's friend.
- Lilly Dillon: Yes. I imagine you're lots of people's friend.
- Myra Langtry: Oh, of course, now that I see you in the light, you're plenty old enough to be Roy's mother.
- Lilly Dillon: Aren't we all?
- Roy Dillon: Play nice. Don't fight.”

Annette Bening - Myra Langtry
Anjelica Huston - Lilly Dillon
John Cusack - Roy Dillon

I'm not going to use the b-word. I just call you all “unstable creatures”.
Omar Gooding - Sweetpea

“- King Marchand: Milk.
- Bartender: Would that be cow's milk, monsieur, or mother's milk?
- King Marchand: How about your sister's?”

James Garner - King Marchand

“- Doug Madsen: Woody, sorry I said you had ego issues.
- Woody Stevens: Sorry I said you were a pussy.
- Doug Madsen: You didn't call me a pussy.
- Woody Stevens: Well, not to your face, but that's what I was thinking.”
Tim Allen - Doug Madsen
John Travolta - Woody Stevens

“- Joey Rosselini: You know, Gerald, I've dealt with niggers, kikes, pollacks, chinks, spics. God made it, I've seen it. But you fucking hillbillies, you are the dumbest that I've met!
- Gerald Gates: Go to Hell!
- Joey Rosselini: You know, Gerald, I gotta hand it to you, you got balls. Stupid as shit, but major balls.”
Adam Baldwin - Joey Rosselini
Bill Paxton - Gerald Gates

“Ugliest child I've ever seen!”

Leslie William Nielsen - Mr. Magoo

“- John Biebe: Women don't like being referred to as fat mammals, Skank.
- 'Skank' Marden: I never would've said that to her face!”
Russell Crowe - John Biebe
Ron Eldard - Skank' Marden

- Poindexter: Lewis, I don't think these guys are Indians.
- Lewis: What makes you say that.
- Poindexter: When I said "bite my crank" in Seminole, no one responded.
- Lewis: You said that to these guys?
Timothy Busfield - Poindexter
Robert Carradine - Lewis

“If I'm a bitch, then yo mama's a bitch. Bitch!”
Janet Jackson - Justice