Marriage quotes

“- Tom: So basically, you're asking me if I would rather be married to Sarah or have 51 one night stands.
- Kyle: Minimum.
- Tom: I don't even have to think about it.
- Kyle: Ok, is there a girl you wished you'd hooked up with, but didn't?
- Tom: You are like the worst best man ever!”
Ashton Kutcher - Tom
David Moscow - Kyle

“You know what these small towns are like. A girl spends all her time in high school lookin' for the guy she's gonna marry, and spends the rest of her life wonderin' why.”
Gene Hackman - Anderson

“- Countess: Aren't you going to congratulate me?
- Lord Arthur Goring: Congratulations.
- Countess: Aren't you going to ask what for?
- Lord Arthur Goring: What for?
- Countess: I've made a great decision. I've decided to get married.
- Lord Arthur Goring: My God! Who to?
- Countess: That part is yet to be decided.”
Marsha Fitzalan - Countess
Rupert Everett - Lord Arthur Goring

“My dad left home when I was eight. You know what he said to me? Have fun, stay single. I was eight.”
Campbell Scott - Steve Dunne

“My wife and I have not performed the sex act in many years.”
Billy Bob Thornton - Ed Crane

“Don't you want to know? Was Jake my father? Was I fucking my daddy? Yes, I was! I was fucking my daddy! And I married him! I married him, okay? I just wanted to be a kid. And they took that from me. They treated me like meat. A piece of meat. Fuck him! Fuck the whole town, they deserve to die!”
Jennifer Lopez - Grace McKenna

“Ignore her. She's drunk. At least I hope she is. Otherwise I'm in real trouble.”

Timothy Walker - Angus the Groom - Wedding One

“- Velda: Marry me.
- Mike Hammer: I'd never be faithful.
- Velda: Sure you would. You'd remember my Sicilian grandmother and decide it isn't worth it.”
Laurene Landon - Velda
Armand Assante - Mike Hammer

“- Martin Riggs: You wanna get married, don'tcha?
- Lorna Cole: Yes I do.
- Martin Riggs: Why didn't you tell me?
- Lorna Cole: Because I didn't want to put any pressure on you, Riggs. I mean, if you want to someday, that'd be great; if you don't, I love you. I'll take you any way I can get you, Riggs.”
Mel Gibson - Martin Riggs
Rene Russo - Lorna Cole

“What should I do, Terry? Settle down and marry some pissed-off thing like you? I'd rather have someone come over and do dental work, every day, from my backside, up... through my ass!”
Mike Binder - Adam "Shep" Goodman

- Jess: Marriages don't break up on account of infidelity. It's just a symptom that something else is wrong.
- Harry Burns: Oh really? Well, that "symptom" is fucking my wife.
Bruno Kirby - Jess
Billy Crystal - Harry Burns

“Alison married Kevin! I am fine now! Married her junior high school sweetheart: kissed me on the bench, kissed Kevin on the bench, married Kevin. This is great! This has got nothing to do with me! This is fate, this is destiny; it is beyond my control, beyond my fault. I love this!”
John Cusack - Rob Gordon

“I've always wanted to be a June Bride... and have a baby right off, in the spring maybe.”
Julie Newmar - Dorcas

“Are you a fucking marriage counselor? What are you smiling at? I'm funny? Right? I'm an asshole? No, no, no. That's not what's funny. What's funny is her. What's funny is, that I had you two followed, because if it's not you she's sleeping with, it's someone else.”

Dan Hedaya - Julian Marty

“The wife is always the last to know.”

Claudia Dell - Octavia

“I'd rather fight with you than make love with anyone else.”
Dermot Mulroney - Nick Mercer

“He loves you, Ellie. He told me so. You don't want to be married to a mug like Westley; I can buy him off for a pot of gold. And you can make an old man happy and you won't do so bad for yourself. If you change your mind, your car's waiting at the back gate.”

Walter Connolly - Andrews

“- Meredith Blake: First change I make is to send that two-faced little brat off to boarding school in Timbuktu.
- Meredith's Assistant: Oof, Ice Woman!
- Meredith Blake: Proud of it, babe!”
Elaine Hendrix - Meredith Blake
Alex Cole - Richard

“Bring Tania over here. Marry her. What's wrong with her? When I say marry her, you damn well do it. Be nice to her, pressure off my fucking head. Your penis works, doesn't it? Get going!”

Saeed Jaffrey - Uncle Nasser

“- Annie O'Meara: Rory, are you married?
- Rory: No.
- Annie O'Meara: You marry me?
- Rory: I'll have to ask your dad first.”
Kelly Singer - Annie O'Meara
Brad Pitt - Rory Devaney

“Newlyweds. What else do they do but make love and war?”
Anthony Quinn - Don Pedro Aragon

“- Holly Garnett: We're going to go over strategy. Now, remember, Chelsea, it took me three breakups, seven ultimatums, and God knows how many not-so-thinly veiled threats before Larry coughed up this ring.
- Chelsea Turner: Oooh. Okay, whatever it takes, I'm gonna marry that man.”
Tyra Banks - Holly Garnett
Bridgette Wilson-Sampras - Chelsea Turner

“- Sylvia: Edward is a wonderful person, but something keeps me from saying yes.
- Vera: Would that something happen to be a tall architecht?”
Nancy Travis - Sylvia
Sheila Hancock - Vera

“- Prof. John Robinson: Have you noticed, you take to opposite position to whatever I say?
- Dr. Maureen Robinson: Of course I do, we're married.”
William Hurt - Prof. John Robinson
Mimi Rogers - Dr. Maureen Robinson

- Mrs. Beaumont: Are you married?
- Fiona: No.
- Mrs. Beaumont: Are you a lesbian?
- Fiona: Good lord! What makes you ask that?
- Mrs. Beaumont: Well, it is one of the possibilites for unmarried girls nowadays, and it's rather more interesting than saying, "Oh dear, never met the right chap", eh?
Rosalie Crutchley - Mrs. Beaumont - Wedding Two
Kristin A. Scott Thomas - Fiona - Wedding One