Old age quotes

“Hello, snotface. Yuck, what happened to you? You're all older, you're even uglier! Look, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to be sick all over you, immediately. Lie down.”

Rik Mayall - Drop Dead Fred

“- Danny Ocean: Do I look 50 to you?
- Basher Tarr: Yeah.
- Danny Ocean: Really?
- Basher Tarr: Well, I mean, you know, only from the neck up.”
George Clooney - Danny Ocean
Don Cheadle - Basher Tarr

“- Counselor: People your age in the work force are usually considered real pains in the ass.
- Bridget Cardigan: Are you aware that statement is discriminatory and illegal?
- Counselor: See! And you don't even work for me.”
Denise Lee - Counselor
Diane Keaton - Bridget Cardigan

“- Old Priest: It is you, Morrell. But that was seventy years ago!
- Father Lucci: That was just yesterday to me.”
Hugo Stanger - Old Priest
Peter Friedman - Father Lucci

“- Louis Prima: Tell us all, we'd all like to know, why do you think you'd only hit .290?
- Ty Cobb: Well, I'm 72 fucking years old you ignorant son of a bitch.”

Eloy Casados - Louis Prima
Tommy Lee Jones - Ty Cobb

“By your eighties, you've had a major stroke, and you end up babbling to some Jamaican nurse who your wife can't stand but who you call mama.”
Billy Crystal - Mitch Robbins

“You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.”
Phyllis Diller

“Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.”
Phyllis Diller

“You will know you're old when you cease to be amazed.”
Noel Pierce Coward On Glenn Ford

“Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.”
Maurice Chevalier

“If you live to the age of a hundred, you have it made because
very few people die past the age of a hundred.”
George Burns

“Old age ain't no place for sissies.”
Bette Davis

“A man can't do much when he gets old except save his money.”
Edgar Buchanan - Uncle Willie McLeod

“Have you noticed how everybody seems to be dead lately?”
Tommy Lee Jones - Hawk Hawkins

“- Kuzco: Look, I'm sorry for tossing you out the window earlier.
- Old Man: Oh, it's not the first time I was tossed out of a window, and it won't be the last. What can I say? I'm a rebel.”
David Spade - Kuzco
John Fiedler - Old Man

“- Shadow: You think it's easy for me to admit that I can't do it? I'm too old.
- Chance: That's not true, there's nothing you can't do.”
Don Ameche - Shadow
Michael J. Fox - Chance

“- Noah: All I got is a broken nose and a bunch of recollections. You got recollections, boy?
- Tommy Riley: Yeah. Some.
- Noah: You young yet. They accumulate. Believe me.”
Ossie Davis - Noah
James Marshall - Tommy Riley

“The old man's still an artist with a Thompson.”
Lanny Flaherty - Terry

“- Eddie Sparks: Look at this. I'm 91-years-old. 50 years I've been waiting for this chance. Dixie, please let's go upstairs.
- Dixie Leonard: What, to your room?
- Eddie Sparks: Yeah.
- Dixie Leonard: And then we get undressed?
- Eddie Sparks: Yeah.
- Dixie Leonard: And then we get into bed?
- Eddie Sparks: Yeah.
- Dixie Leonard: And then what?”
James Caan - Eddie Sparks
Bette Midler - Dixie Leonard

“I wish somebody'd shoot me when I get old.”
Charles Bickford - Slim

“We're too old to settle for a twin-bedded friendship.”
Tim Daly - Dr. Robert Joley

“- Leopold: Have you ever made love with a much older man?
- Dulcy: Yes.
- Leopold: Illicitly? In the woods?
- Dulcy: Yes.
- Leopold: Was he a genius.
- Dulcy: He was a dentist.”
Jose Ferrer - Leopold
Julie Hagerty - Dulcy

“I am an old man, and most people hate me. But I don't like them either so that makes it all even.”
Lionel Barrymore - Mr. Potter

“I'm 67 years old. Every day, the future looks a little bit darker. But the past, even the grimy parts of it, keep on getting brighter.”
Carla Gugino - Sally Jupiter

“- Walter: You have to pee too?
- Frank: I'm 75 years old. I always have to pee.”
Robert Duvall - Walter
Richard Harris - Frank