Old age quotes

“I've run the marathon several times, so I definitely don't look like the Great Ancestor!”
George Takei

“Old is the new sexy.”
Ellen Barkin

“I'm an old man. I'm 70 years old. I'm supposed to be sitting on a rocking chair watching the sunset.”
M. Emmet Walsh

“That's the privilege of old age: You don't have to remember.”
Alan Arkin

“- Oscar Madison: If you didn't have the brains to pee back at the airport, how could you possibly read that sign?
- Felix Ungar: Reading and peeing are two different things!
- Oscar Madison: At your age you're lucky you can do either one.”
Walter Matthau - Oscar Madison
Jack Lemmon - Felix Ungar

“I'm too old for this shit.”

Danny Glover - Roger Murtaugh

“Old age. It's the only disease, Mr. Thompson, that you don't look forward to being cured of.”

Everett Sloane - Mr. Bernstein

“You're worse than my dad. He's old, at least he's got an excuse for being a prick!”

Caroline Guthrie - Carol

“Is this place soundproof, Doc? Because, you know, as you get older, you really appreciate the quiet more, you know?”
Tom Waits - Kenny

“- John Billings: There's a story going around 'bout how some twenty Redcoats got killed by a ghost or some damn thing, carried a Cherokee tomahawk.
- Benjamin Martin: Aren't you a little old to be believing in ghost stories?”
Leon Rippy - John Billings
Mel Gibson - Benjamin Martin

“Jack, you threw me over for this? This... ugh! I mean I know you like passive women, Jack, but she's half dead. I hope she has a great personality, because this hurts.”

Beverly D'Angelo - Sharon Brogan Crawford

“I could not concentrate on what this old man was saying.”

Sacha Baron Cohen - Borat

“There's no fool like an old fool!”
Patricia Hayes - Urgl

“- Will Keane: You think I'm too old for you?
- Charlotte Fielding: Oh, no… I collect antiques, or I aspire to.”
Richard Tiffany Gere - Will Keane
Winona Ryder - Charlotte Fielding

“- Marlene Lauda: Who are you, should I know you?
- Giovanni: What, you don't know? He's Niki Lauda: Formula One driver and he just signed with Ferrari.
- Marlene Lauda: He's driving like an old man.”
Alexandra Maria Lara - Marlene Lauda
Raffaello Degruttola - Giovanni

“- Richie Evans: I got a call from the rest home today. She said that you were being a disruptive influence during lunch. That you refused to eat your spinach soufflé, and that you caused a riot. And that last night you made love to a woman.
- Harry Doyle: Do you make love to women, Richie?
- Richie Evans: Well, yes. Of course I do.
- Harry Doyle...” (continue)(continue reading)
Dana Carvey - Richie Evans
Burt Lancaster - Harry Doyle

“- Earl Bassett: No breakfast?
- Valentine McKee: I did it yesterday. It was baloney and beans.
- Earl Bassett: No, it was eggs. I made eggs. Over easy.
- Valentine McKee: Well, I guess when I'm your age, I'll forget what I eat, too.”
Fred Ward - Earl Bassett
Kevin Bacon - Valentine McKee

“- Mahatma Gandhi: You're a temptress.
- Margaret Bourke-White: Just an admirer!
- Mahatma Gandhi: Nothing is more dangerous, especially for an old man.”
Ben Kingsley - Mahatma Gandhi
Candice Bergen - Margaret Bourke-White

“- Yoda: That face you make... look I so old to young eyes?
- Luke: No. Of course not.
- Yoda: I do. Yes, I do. Sick have I become, old and weak... When nine hundred years old you reach, look as good you will not, hmm?”
Frank Oz - Yoda
Mark Hamill - Luke Skywalker

“A hundred and twenty five years... Oh God, Oh God... I'll be a hundred and sixty one when I get out.”

Richard Pryor - Harry Monroe

“- Beavis: It's, like, this chick's a slut. And look at this guy. He's old, but he's probably scored a million times!
- Old Guy: Oh, yeah.
- Beavis: But not us. We're never gonna score!”
Mike Judge - Beavis
Kristofor Brown - Old Guy

- Grandpa Gustafson: And finally, the baby bear looked and he said, "Somebody's sleeping in my bed, and the bastard's still there!" But Goldylocks had a Remington semi-automatic, with a scope and a hair-trigger!
- Allie, Melanie's Daughter: That's not the way it goes!
- Grandpa Gustafson: And that was the end of the Three Bears.
Burgess Meredith - Grandpa Gustafson
Katie Sagona - Allie, Melanie's Daughter

“- Jack Thornton: Did I ever tell you about my grandpa? Died when he was a hundred and six.
- Bartender: What interrupted his youth?
- Jack Thornton: He quit drinking.”
Clark Gable - Jack Thornton
Russ Powell - Bartender

“- Jeff Dunham: I do know I have grandparents who are well into their 80s. They're still having fun.
- Walter: Their 80s?
- Jeff Dunham: Yeah.
- Walter: Good god! What the hell kind of sex is that?”
Jeff Dunham - Himself
Jeff Dunham - Walter

“- Jack Reacher: You're old enough to drive?
- Sandy: I'm old enough to do a lot of things.”
Tom Cruise - Jack Reacher
Alexia Fast - Sandy