Religion quotes

“- Professor Fred Lieberman: Millions of people nowadays are religious only in the vaguest sense. I've often wondered why the Jews among them still go on calling themselves Jews. Do you know, Mr. Green?
- Phil Green: No, but I'd like to.
- Professor Fred Lieberman: Because the world still makes it an advantage not to be one. Thus it becomes a...” (continue)(continue reading)
Sam Jaffe - Professor Fred Lieberman
Gregory Peck - Philip Schuyler Green

“- Mark Baum's Mom: Then what's the problem, rabbi?
- Rabbi: It's the reason Mark is studying so hard. He's looking for inconsistencies in the word of God!
- Mark Baum's Mom: So has he found any?”

Carrie Lazar - Mark Baum's Mom
David Zalkind - Rabbi

“The truth is what everybody accepts. Right, Owen? I mean, psychiatry: it's the latest religion. We decide what's right and wrong. We decide who's crazy or not. I'm in trouble here. I'm losing my faith.”
Madeleine Stowe - Kathryn Railly

“- Red: That's what I am. I'm just a hermit crab changin' shells.
- Dale Denton: Except if you're a dick your whole life, your next shell will be made of shit, okay? If you're an asshole, you're gonna come back as a cockroach or a worm or a fuckin' anal bead, okay? If you're a man and you act heroic, you'll come back as an eagle. You'll come back...” (continue)(continue reading)

Danny McBride - Red
Seth Rogen - Dale Denton

“And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals.”

Graham Kartna - Homeschooled Boy

“Did you know that most temples are built with moveable walls so that the one day of the year when everyone comes to repent they can actually make the room big enough to hold everyone?”

Zach Braff - Andrew Largeman

“- Detective Richie Roberts: You... want a drink or something? Celebrate?
- Frank Lucas: You got any holy water?”
Russell Crowe - Detective Richie Roberts
Denzel Washington - Frank Lucas

“You want forgiveness? Get religion.”

Tobey Maguire - Peter Parker

“- Frollo: Shall we review your alphabet today?
- Quasimodo: Oh, yes, Master. I would like that very much.
- Frollo: Very well. A?
- Quasimodo: Abomination.
- Frollo: B?
- Quasimodo: Blasphemy?
- Frollo: C?
- Quasimodo: C-C-Contrition.
- Frollo: D?
- Quasimodo: Damnation?
- Frollo: E?
- Quasimodo: Eternal damnation.
- Frollo: Good. F?
- Quasimodo...” (continue)(continue reading)
Tony Jay - Frollo
Tom Hulce - Quasimodo

“It's rude to talk about religion. You never know who you're gonna offend.”
Albert Finney - Ed Bloom - Senior

“When does fiction become religion?”

Marvin Scott - Reporter

“- Dr. Harry Adams: Are you a religious man, Norman?
- Dr. Norman Goodman: Atheist, but I'm flexible.”
Samuel L. Jackson - Dr. Harry Adams
Dustin Hoffman - Dr. Norman Goodman

“You may be shocked by these words, but I have eaten from the same plate, drunk from the same glass and prayed to the same God with fellow Muslims whose eyes were blue, whose hair was blond and whose skin was the whitest of whites. And we are brothers, truly.”
Denzel Washington - Malcolm X

“I was very ill last summer. For a while, I thought I was a goner. I woke up one night in my hospital bed, and I saw, standing there, a tall man, wearing a white robe, with a long white beard. I said, 'Who are you?' He said, 'I am the Holy Ghost.' I said, 'Where are the Father and the Son?' He said, 'They're out of town.' I'm not a religious man,...” (continue)(continue reading)
Harry Ruby

“Sheldon Cooper-Would you be angry with me if I don't pick your religion?
Mary Cooper-I could never be angry with you. You be a seeker of your own truth.”
Iain Armitage - Sheldon Cooper
Zoe Perry - Mary Cooper

“Fear has been a recruiting tactic used by organized religion for centuries. When you add guilt to keep people in line, it's an extremely efficient form of crowd control.”
Iain Armitage - Sheldon Cooper

“Mary Cooper-In the name of Jesus, I place a hedge of protection around this house and my family. I command this storm to skip over our home in Jesus' name. I wish peace to every single person in this room and declare that not one of us will get hurt in this storm, in Jesus' name!
Sheldon Cooper-Pray harder!”

Zoe Perry - Mary Cooper
Iain Armitage - Sheldon Cooper

“Don't let the stories and pretty lights fool you, boys. Religion is darkness.”
Adil Hussain - Santosh Patel

“Why must people kneel down to pray? If I really wanted to pray, I’ll tell you what I’d do. I’d go into a great big field, all alone, or into the deep, deep woods, and I’d look up into the sky, up-up-up, into that lovely blue sky without end, and I would just feel a prayer.”
Amybeth McNulty - Anne Shirley-Cuthbert

“I haven’t had sex dreams since I converted to Judaism.”
Justine Lupe - Astrid Weissman

What does the Bible say? "Happy are those who do not see, yet believe." Hooray for blind faith and ignorance.
Steve Coogan - Martin Sixsmith

I read a very funny headline in a satirical newspaper the other day about the earthquake in Turkey. It said "God Outdoes Terrorists Yet Again." Why God suddenly feels the need to kill hundreds of thousands of innocent people escapes me.
Steve Coogan - Martin Sixsmith

“The Catholic Church should go to confession, not you!”
Steve Coogan - Martin Sixsmith

“You don't need religion to lead a happy and balanced life.”
Steve Coogan - Martin Sixsmith

“I don't believe in God, and I think He knows.”
Steve Coogan - Martin Sixsmith