Religion quotes

“- Brian Hope: Does the Trinity make any sense to you?
- Charlie McManus: Oh, no. No, it makes no sense to anyone. That's why you have to believe it. That's why you have to have faith. If it made sense, it wouldn't have to be a religion, would it?”
Eric Idle - Brian Hope
Robbie Coltrane - Charlie McManus

“- Howard Langston: I gotta tell you, Santa, there's something about this place that doesn't seem quite... Kosher.
- Mall Santa: Kosher? This coming from a guy who assaulted a toddler for a super ball?”
Arnold Schwarzenegger - Howard Langston
Jim Belushi - Mall Santa

“- William Bandy: I know that you would like to build a pipeline through my property. Is that right, what I've heard?
- Plainview: It's absolutely right.
- William Bandy: God has told me what you must do. I'd like you to be part of our church.
- Plainview: I'll pay you five thousand dollars.
- William Bandy: Be baptized, be forgiven for the sin...” (continue)(continue reading)
Colton Woodward - William Bandy
Daniel Day-Lewis - Daniel Plainview

“- Brian Hope: Explain the Trinity.
- Charlie McManus: Hmmm... well, it's a bit of a bugger.”
Eric Idle - Brian Hope
Robbie Coltrane - Charlie McManus

“I always was very much interested in religion, and I still am. I'm the only Jew, I think, who goes regularly to church.”
Henry Koster

“Some people turn from God because they cannot understand how a good God can permit evil in the world.”
Walter Lang

“All my novels, a lot of my screenplays, they all deal with love and faith and religion a lot.”
Jeremy Leven

“All religions have always hated females.”
Peter Greenaway

“- Deloris: We could pack this joint.
- Mother Superior: Through blasphemy? You have corrupted the entire choir!
- Deloris: How can you say that? I worked my butt off with these women! They've given up their free time to do this, and they're good! I mean, sister, we could, we could rock this place!
- Mother Superior: Out of the question!”

Whoopi Goldberg - Deloris
Maggie Smith - Mother Superior

“I'm a Christian man or whatever religion dominates the region I'm selling in, but you have to admit it did sound like she was talking about the big va-jay-jay, right?”
Jeremy Piven - Don Ready

“Here's to the profound religious experience that comes from doing a job well and being grossly underpaid.”
Kevin Spacey - Larry Mann

Martin Luther was a German fellow who pinned a note on a church door that said, "Hang on a minute!". Actually, he was German so, "Ein minuten bitte! Ich habe einen klienen problemo avec diese religioni. He was from everywhere".
Eddie Izzard - Himself

“- Coleman: Would you like a sip of whiskey?
- Billy Ray Valentine: I do not drink, it is against my religion!
- Coleman: Religion is a good thing I say, taken in moderation.”
Denholm Elliott - Coleman
Eddie Murphy - Billy Ray Valentine

“I want you to show right now how much you love God! I want you to show as your tithe! I want you to open up your hearts! And open up your wallets! And open up your purses! And give it up! Praise the Lord! Somebody's been talking about me, talking about I've been riding around in a Cadillac! If you love me, and you wanna give to me, then I should...” (continue)(continue reading)
Gerald Orange - Pastor John

“- Harper Pitt: I'm a Mormon.
- Prior Walter: I'm a homosexual.
- Harper Pitt: In my church we don't believe in homosexuals.
- Prior Walter: In my church we don't believe in Mormons.”
Mary-Louise Parker - Harper Pitt
Justin Kirk - Prior Walter

“- John Farley: You have a father?
- Mr. Woodcock: Of course I have a father. I'm not Jesus.”
Seann William Scott - John Farley
Billy Bob Thornton - Jasper Woodcock

“I'm Jewish and he's Muslim, and because of that he tells me I need to give up certain things, like pork and white women. I can give up the Pork, but the white women? God Damn, how the hell do you do that?”
Jamie Foxx - Drew 'Bundini' Brown

“- Zeus Carver: How do Catholics do their thing?
- John McClane: North, South, West, East.”

Samuel L. Jackson - Zeus Carver
Bruce Willis - John McClane

“Any religion without love and compassion is false! It's a lie!”
Peter Horton - Burt

“- Pastor Skip: Patrick, this is not a gray area.
- Patrick: Dad, it's all a gray area.
- Pastor Skip: The Bible is black and white.”
Martin Donovan - Pastor Skip
Patrick Fugit - Patrick

“- J.J. McClure: What line did you say you were from?
- Betty: The Order of Imaculate Chastity.
- Victor: The Order of Imaculate Chastity? I read the Bible all the time. In fact, I once read the bible that was printed on the head of a pin. That was hard. But, I've never heard of the Order of Imaculate...
- Veronica: You have to read the New...” (continue)(continue reading)
Burt Reynolds - J.J. McClure
Marilu Henner - Betty
Dom DeLuise - Victor Prinzim
Shirley MacLaine - Veronica

“What is Jerusalem? Your holy places lie over the Jewish temple that the Romans pulled down. The Muslim places of worship lie over yours. Which is more holy? The wall? The Mosque? The Sepulchre? Who has claim? No one has claim. All have claim!”

Orlando Bloom - Balian de Ibelin

“- Charlie Wilson: She always wanted to be a dancer but it was against her religion.
- Brigadier Rashid: What religion is that?
- Charlie Wilson: She's Baptist.”
Tom Hanks - Charlie Wilson
Faran Tahir - Brigadier Rashid

“I was doomed to an eternity in the fires of hell as a Christian and a horrendous rebirth as a Hindu.”
Eric Idle - Tommy Butterfly Rainbow Peace Patel

“- Mestigoit: Watch this, he is going to cast a spell.
- Laforgue: Oh God of mercy, please bless this innocent child...
- Chomina: No. He is talking to his God.”
Yvan Labelle - Mestigoit
Lothaire Bluteau - Laforgue
August Schellenberg - Chomina