Religion quotes

“- Lou Brown: Who is that?
- Charlie Donovan: Must be Cerrano. Defected from Cuba, wanted religious freedom.
- Lou Brown: What's his religion?
- Charlie Donovan: Voodoo.”

James Gammon - Lou Brown
Charles Cyphers - Charlie Donovan

“Racing's in our blood. Like for Pops, it isn't just a sport. It's way more important than that. It's like a religion. And in our house, the major sponsors are kind of like the Devil.”
Emile Hirsch - Speed

“Until I attain my majority, the regent is the political leader of Tibet. You should have requested an audience with him to discuss these important matters of the world. My experience of such things is limited. I am a simple Buddhist monk. All I know is the scripture and the words of Lord Buddha.”

Jamyang Jamtsho Wangchuk - Dalai Lama, 14 Years Old

“- Asian Minister: Civil or religious?
- Chuck Levine: Religious. I'm Jewish, I don't wanna piss my mother off.
- Larry Valentine: I'm Catholic, I don't wanna piss Mel Gibson off.”
Rob Schneider - Asian Minster
Adam Sandler - Chuck Levine
Kevin James - Larrie Valentine

If you have GPS, be very careful. I bought a Mercedes recently with talking GPS. I opened the door and my car went, "Are you Jewish?".
Robin Williams - Tom Dobbs

“- Winston Zeddmore: Judgement day.
- Dr. Raymond Stantz: Every ancient religion has its own myth about the end of the world.
- Winston Zeddmore: Myth? Ray, has it ever occurred to you that maybe the reason we've been so busy lately is 'cause the dead have been rising from the grave?”

Ernie Hudson - Winston Zeddmore
Dan Aykroyd - Dr. Raymond Stantz

“Last time, he killed all of his victims except one. We thinkig he was keeping her, because she had tattoos. Stuff like crosses, religious markings.”

Steven Vidler - Williams

“- Laforgue: I put my trust in God. He will guide me all the way to paradise.
- Chomina: But you have not seen this paradise. No man should welcome death. This world is a cruel place.”
Lothaire Bluteau - Laforgue
August Schellenberg - Chomina

“I tend to be suspicious of all true believers. Present company included.”

Annette Bening - Elise Kraft

- Brian Hope: I thought you were supposed to be eating fish on a Friday.
- Charlie McManus: No, you're way out of date. Vatican II said we don't have to do that anymore.
- Brian Hope: Who's "Vatican II"? The deputy pope?
- Charlie McManus: Ignoramus. You can't have a deputy pope. The pope's infallible; you can't be deputy-infallible!
Eric Idle - Brian Hope
Robbie Coltrane - Charlie McManus

“Sometimes I think the best view of God is from Hell.”
Izabella Scorupco - Sarah

“She became his responsibility, and he betrayed that responsibility by persuading her to abandon her medical treatment in favor of religious treatment: a ritual exorcism performed by the defendant, allegedly to cure the victim by ridding her of demonic forces. We will demonstrate that this course of action directly resulted in the victim's death.”

Campbell Scott - Ethan Thomas

“- Old Lady: You two boys can just fuck right off.
- Joe Young: Ma'am?
- Old Lady: You heard me. Take that book of Mormons and shove it so far up your righteous asses that you choke, you soul soliciting pigfuckers.”

Louise Rapport - Old Lady
Trey Parker - Joe Young

“- Tommy Johnson: I had to be up at that crossroad last midnight, to sell my soul to the devil.
- Everett: Well, ain't it a small world, spiritually speaking. Pete and Delmar just been baptized and saved. I guess I'm the only one that remains unaffiliated.”
Chris Thomas King - Tommy Johnson
George Clooney - Everett

“It's like you're saying that science killed God. What if science simply revealed that He never existed in the first place?”

Jodie Foster - Eleanor Arroway

“It's an entire religion based on an oxymoron.”
Geoffrey Rush - The Marquis de Sade

“- Frances Lacey: Are you a praying man, Mr. Moon?
- Mr. Munimura: I'm a failed Catholic, but yes.
- Frances Lacey: We're not religious either, but a taste of it couldn't hurt, and who knows? It might take on one of these heathens.”
Kathy Bates - Frances Lacey
Soon-Tek Oh - Mr. Munimura

“- Forrest Gump: And in China they never go to church.
- John Lennon: No religion too?
- Dick Cavett: Ah. Hard to imagine.
- John Lennon: Well it's easy if you try, Dick.”
Tom Hanks - Forrest Gump
Joe Stefanelli - John Lennon
Dick Cavett - Dick Cavett

“I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried all the major religions, and most of the minor ones. I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball.”
Susan Sarandon - Annie Savoy

“- Reverend Norman: My dear Maleva, we can't bury this man without prayer.
- Maleva: There is nothing to pray for, sir. Bela has entered a much better world than this. At least, so your ministers always say, sir.”
Harry Stubbs - Reverend Norman
Maria Ouspenskaya - Maleva

“I'll be at church when they get a smoking section.”
Tyler Perry - Madea

“I want to get something straight. I was thrilled to play here, in a real theater, in a real play, but if I must take my pants off to prove I'm not a Jew, thanks, but no thanks. Besides, I refuse to take the part of another actor.”
Gérard Depardieu - Bernard Granger

“It is not there to protect religion from the grasp of government but to protect our government from the grasp of religious fanaticism.”

Joan Allen - Laine Hanson

I can go down the road any time I want and walk into Harry's and hold my head up high and say in a loud, steady voice: “Harry, I want you to sell me a condom. In fact, today, I think I'll have a french tickler, for I am a Protestant”.
Graham Arthur Chapman - Harry Blackitt

“- Sue: The Lutherans brought us over.
- Walt Kowalski: Everybody blames the Lutherans.”
Ahney Her - Sue
Clint Eastwood - Walt Kowalski