Sex quotes

“Actually... I'm looking for Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man.”
Meryl Streep - Kay

“- Moe Greene: I got a business to run. I gotta kick asses sometimes to make it run right. We had a little argument, Freddy and me, so I had to straighten him out.
- Michael Corleone: You straightened my brother out?
- Moe Greene: He was banging cocktail waitresses two at a time! Players couldn't get a drink at the table!”

Alex Rocco - Moe Greene
Al Pacino - Michael Corleone

“- Bobby Fischer: So what do you do, Donna?
- Donna: I screw people.
- Bobby Fischer: Ahhh me too... Listen, I was thinking of getting rid of my virginity.”
Tobey Maguire - Bobby Fisher
Evelyne Brochu - Donna

“No goddamn life left for men anymore. Not here. In this country, all that's left for men is money and pussy.”
Oliver Platt - Pete Van Heuten

“- Matt Gavin: There's only three fun things in life, paisà: money, sex and power.
- David Corelli: Two out of three's not bad.”
Chazz Palminteri - Matt Gavin
David Caruso - David Corelli

“To me, marriage is a sacred institution. So tell me, you and the wife do it doggie-style, or what?”
Andrew Rubin - George Martín

“- Jillian: You killed my husband.
- Spencer Armacost: Yeah. I did. And then I fucked his wife.”
Charlize Theron - Jillian Armacost
Johnny Depp - Commander Spencer Armacost

“You fucked Anna 'cause you couldn't fuck Rachel anymore, and you fucked me 'cause you couldn't fuck Anna. Take us all away and you're just a pathetic, impotent man.”

Haley Bennett - Megan

“- Julie: He said that he loved me.
- Helen: Men say that. They all say that. Then they cum.”
Martha Plimpton - Julie
Dianne Wiest - Helen

“You think we're tight because you used to do blow with my dad?”

Scoot McNairy - Novak

“- Max Cartwright: Gertie, you're a virgin.
- Gertie Michaels: No. Well, not anymore. Last summer with that guy, Jerry. He had like the weird mustache and he, like, winked. Remember?
- Vicki Summers: Isn't he autistic?”
Taissa Farmiga - Max Cartwright
Alia Shawkat - Gertie Michaels
Nina Dobrev - Vicki Summers

“Certainly most movie executives were making love to the starlets. But then, so were most of us actors.”
Richard Burton

“- Danny Campbell: I feel like you're the kind of girl that wants to marry me, but not kiss me.
- Krystal Manicucci: Well, I feel like you're the kind of guy that wants to kiss me, but doesn't want to marry me.
- Danny Campbell: What if we try to be different kinds of people for one night? [they begin to kiss]
- Krystal Manicucci: You know we're...” (continue)(continue reading)
Graham Phillips - Danny Campbell
Ashley Greene - Krystal Manicucci

“- Sabina Spielrein: When my father brought me to you I was very ill and my illness was sexual. It's clear that the subject I'm studying is entirely grounded in sexuality so naturally I'm becoming more and more acutely awake of the fact that I have no sexual experience.
- Carl Jung: Law students are not normally expected to rob banks.”
Keira Knightley - Sabina Spielrein
Michael Fassbender - Carl Jung

“- Lisa: How could you have sex with all of those women?
- Joe Young: I didn't it was a stunt cock.
- Lisa: A stunt cock? So you aren't touching all of those women's breasts?
- Joe Young: No they're all just special effects.”
Robyn Lynne Raab - Lisa
Trey Parker - Joe Young

“- Joanna: Are you going to have sex with her?
- Matt: What do you know about sex?
- Joanna: Enough. Don't change the subject.”

Amy Sakasitz - Joanna Leland
Chris O'Donnell - Matt Leland

“I'm a beautiful, young virgin in Italy. I want my sexual awakening and I want it now!”
Georgina Cates - Emily

“Isn't sex the best tension release there is? It's like a really good sweaty game of racquetball. Except you get to come at the end.”
Rachel True - Mel

“We didn't have MTV when I was growing up. So maybe it's the overstimulated times that we live in that causes young men to stick their... instruments in such... odd places. I knew a certain young men once who actually engaged in sexual congress with an apple pie, and he turned out just fine.”
Eugene Levy - Mr. Levenstein

“- Carter: Dan, you seem to have the perfect marriage. How do you do it?
- Dan: You just pick the right one to be in the foxhole with, and then when you're outside of the foxhole you keep your dick in your pants.
- Carter: That's poetic.”
Christopher Grace - Carter
Dennis Quaid - Dan

“- Pierre Peders: I don't fuck celebrities.
- Katya: Well, I don't fuck nobodies.”
Steve Buscemi - Pierre Peders
Sienna Miller - Katya

“- Walter: My wife and I heard that coffee's good for your sex life.
- Jeff Dunham: Coffee?
- Walter: Yeah.
- Jeff Dunham: Is it?
- Walter: No. It kept me awake through the whole damn thing! I actually had to participate.”
Jeff Dunham - Walter
Jeff Dunham - Jeff Dunham

“I've never done well on the phone. Women find my voice sexy, and I think it distracts them.”
William H. Macy - Bill Porter

“- Adam Jones: We should be dealing in culinary orgasms. When is the last time you had an orgasm that was interesting?
- Helene: Remind me never ever to discuss food with you in public.”

Bradley Cooper - Adam Jones
Sienna Miller - Helene

“- Sara 'Sway' Wayland: What do you think is more exciting... having sex or stealing cars?
- Memphis: Having sex or boosting cars... Um, oo! Well, uh... How about having sex while boosting cars?
- Sara 'Sway' Wayland: Oh, that's a good line. Doesn't work on a lot of girls, though.”
Angelina Jolie - Sara 'Sway' Wayland
Nicolas Cage - Memphis Raines