Sex quotes

“If a girl says she's on the pill, you use something anyway. Pill ain't going to keep your dick from falling off.”
Laurence Fishburne - Furious Styles

“You know a girl's first time is very important. It determines the rest of her life sexually. I read that once in one of my sister's magazine. My girlfriends told me they hated their first experience. That's because they didn't love the guys. They just did it to show off. Afterwards, they started liking it. Like cigarette. Will i like it the...” (continue)(continue reading)

Natalie Portman - Mathilda

“You don't deserve a penis!”

Ryan Reynolds - Chris Brander

“- Nurse Morgan: I have a headache, Axel. For you, I always have a headache.
- Axel: Oh, I can fix that. Meet me in the cold room. I'm closing up for the night. What do you say? Okay?
- Nurse Morgan: Axel, I am not going to fake any more orgasms for you.”
Lisa Freeman - Nurse Morgan
Bruce Mahler - Axel

“- Christina: [Reading] Follow the yellow brick road? Huh! I'm following the yellow brick road... following the yellow brick...
- Christina: [Comes across a picture of a dog with a hole in its mouth, she gasps] Muffy! You look like my old doggy Muffy! What's in your mouth? What's in your mouth?
- Christina: What have you got in there?
- Man in...” (continue)(continue reading)

Cameron Diaz - Christina Walters

“Get your peanut butter out of my sister's chocolate.”
Tina Fey - Kate Ellis

“- Mike O'Hara: I heard Manute Bol is banging your mom!
- Jimmy Flaherty: Manute Bol! Your mom!
- Lewis Scott: That's whitey.”
Daniel Stern - Mike O'Hara
Dan Aykroyd - Jimmy Flaherty
Damon Wayans - Lewis Scott

“You're hot as shit and it's been a really long time for me. And if those things up there, if they ever get to us; we're never going to get to fuck again ever. This might be our last chance. So I was thinkin'; you know what? Let's just do this thing. Let's get naked. Hot and wet, you and me, right here right now. And maybe I could find a sheet...” (continue)(continue reading)

Walton Goggins - Stans

“- Kate Macer: I was about to have sex with my hitman.
- Alejandro: He wasn't going to kill you... he just wanted to know what you know.”

Emily Blunt - Kate Macer
Benicio del Toro - Alejandro

- Carrie: Why do you think it's called "honeymoon"?
- Charles: Um, I don't know... I suppose it's, uh, "honey" because it's sweet as honey, and "moon" because it's the first time a husband got to see his wife's bottom.
Andie MacDowell - Carrie - Wedding One
Hugh Grant - Charles - Wedding One

“- Black: You run your mouth too much. You learn to control your mouth, you might could fuck both of 'em.
- Blue: I don't wanna fuck both of 'em.”

Master P - Black
Anthony Johnson - Blue

“Allie, he came in my mouth, and then he tried to beat the shit out of me because I wanted to tell you. You know... It was an accident. But... He deserved it.”

Jennifer Jason Leigh - Hedra Carlson

“- Wendy: Do you know how I got my reputation?
- Pee Wee: How?
- Wendy: In the 8th grade, I didn't know anything. A bunch of guys wanted to get me to go skinny dipping, I didn't want to but I didn't care if they did so I just watched. I thought it was funny, flopping around... the next day I was a slut, the original mattress-back.”
Kaki Hunter - Wendy
Dan Monahan - Pee Wee

“[talking in a public press conference] And to my wife, I apologize. All I can say is I wasn't just having sex, I was making love to a beautiful woman...and her boyfriend...and a third person whose name I never learned. Furthermore, it was wrong of me to say I was building houses for the underprivileged when I was actually having four-way sex in...” (continue)(continue reading)

Kevin Symons - Councilman Dexhart

“- Conchita: Carmen, tonight you are to be El Guapo's woman. I am going to give you some hints about lovemaking with El Guapo.
- Carmen: I would rather die first!
- Conchita: Tell me, Carmen, do you know what foreplay is?
- Carmen: No...
- Conchita: Good! Neither does El Guapo.”

Loyda Ramos - Conchita
Patrice Martinez - Carmen

You know, when I lie awake at night and list my regrets, you're one of them. I say to myself, "Simone, you're a lesbian. Why did you sleep with Adam Jones?"
Uma Thurman - Simone Forth

- Sonji Roi: Are you a virgin?
- Muhammad Ali: What do you mean "Am I a virgin"?
Jada Pinkett Smith - Sonji Roi
Will Smith - Muhammad Ali

“- Aldous Snow: Maybe you can have Rachel and Sarah, they got along alright at dinner.
- Peter Bretter: I'm not that kind of guy and even if I was I don't think I have the sexual competency to pull that off.
- Aldous Snow: Yeah its a gift.”
Russell Brand - Aldous Snow
Jason Segel - Peter Bretter

“Love is the answer, isn't it? But sex raises a lot of very interesting questions...”
Liam Neeson - Alfred Kinsey

“We had sex, Mommy! You know? The really dirty kind!”
Jennifer Aniston - Kate

“- Ma Beckoff: Friend-friend, or euphemism-friend?
- David: He used to be a euphemism, now he's just a friend.”
Anne Bancroft - Ma Beckoff
Eddie Castrodad - David

“- Joel: What about foreplay?
- Mary Brown: No! Foreplay is for sissies! Real men go in, unload and pull out!”
Joel Michaely - Joel
Cathy Moriarty - Mary Brown

“- Bernie Focker: Why can't you support my dreams the way I've always supported yours? When you wanted to try new sex positions for your research, I was your guinea pig!
- Roz Focker: You volunteered!
- Bernie Focker: I pulled my hamstring doing a reverse cowgirl!
- Roz Focker: That's because you did it backwards.”
Dustin Hoffman - Bernie Focker
Barbra Streisand - Roz Focker

“- Lloyd Christmas: Harry, holy cow. I'm worried about you. You're as deaf as a bat.
- Harry Dunne: That's not exactly how it happened, Lloyd. Your mother got into bed with me.”
Jim Carrey - Lloyd Christmas
Jeff Daniels - Harry Dunne

“- Mr. Grey: We can't do this 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
- Lee Holloway: Why not?”

James Spader - Mr. Grey
Maggie Gyllenhaal - Lee Holloway