Sex quotes

Sex can be fun... when you're old enough, which none of you are. I should know. When you lose it to some guy named Junior with bad breath in the back of a van at a Guns N' Roses concert, you're gonna wish you had listened to your mother when she said, "They're not gonna want to buy the whole friggin' ice cream truck when you're handing out the... (continue)(continue reading)

Molly Shannon - Anita

“- Chloe Beale: I will do whoever it takes in order for us to get back to the top.
- Fat Amy: You mean whatever it takes.
- Chloe Beale: Yeah, I'll do that too.”
Brittany Snow - Chloe
Rebel Wilson - Fat Amy

“I wouldn't do that for all the teenage twat in Thailand.”
Pierce Brosnan - Julian Noble

“You know, Donna, you got great legs. What time do they open?”
Luke Kirby - Jim

“- Prime Minister Soto: President Benson, where's your First Lady?
- Tug Benson: I don't know. I've had lots of women. Lost my flower at the age of 15. I can't keep track.”
Clyde Kusatsu - Prime Minister Soto
Lloyd Bridges - Tug Benson

“- Lucy Chadman: Of course he may not be too thrilled to hear how No. 3 died.
- Jason Chadman: You mean... During...?
- Lucy Chadman: No. Just after. According to Kim he came and went.”

Shelley Lee Long - Lucy Chadman
Corbin Bernsen - Jason Chadman

“She broke the cardinal rule. Don't fuck with people that handle your food.”
Ryan Reynolds - Monty

“Italy just elected a porn star to their senate. Which is wonderful, because that means no sex scandals - just great posters and incredible downloads.”
Robin Williams - Tom Dobbs

“God has a very big heart but there is one sin he will not forgive: if a woman calls a man to her bed and he will not go. I know because a very wise old Turk told me.”
Anthony Quinn - Alexis Zorba

“- Cinder: Ever been to fourth base?
- Ferris: I'm fifteen. No one goes to fourth base...
- Cinder: I hit a home run at fourteen. Well I guess some of us are women, and some of us are little girls.”
Krista Errickson - Cinder
Tatum O'Neal - Ferris

“I used to be anonymous, invisible to the opposite sex. If Google Earth were a guy, he couldn't find me if I was dressed up as a 10-story building.”
Emma Stone - Olive

“Just think, as an animal you'll have a second chance to find a companion. But, even then, you must be careful; you need to choose a companion that is a similar type of animal to you. A wolf and a penguin could never live together, nor could a camel and a hippopotamus. That would be absurd.”
Olivia Colman - Hotel manager

“You know what the twenties are for? Having sex with all the wrong people. Not to get married.”
Bette Midler - Lilly Leonard

“- Cindy: This is Ben's pathetic concept of cool, is to pretend he's not afraid.
- Ben: Well hello Cindy Freud, what's your concept of cool, Doc? Banging the whole entire senior class starting with A?”
Kristen Miller - Cindy
Michael Weston - Ben

“- Holly So Tightly: Johnny, Eric, Bart... they didn't love me. All they wanted was sex!
- Dirt Merchant: You're a fucking porn star. What the hell do you expect?
- Holly So Tightly: I'm not a whore! Like help put my career, some real respect, and maybe a half decent orgasm once in a while!”
Jenna Jameson - Holly So Tightly
Danny Masterson - Dirt Merchant

“Party 'till you're pregnant!”
Robert De Niro - Dick Kelly

“- Bernard: Oh, and they want the - them happier. The family.
- Giles: Happier?
- Bernard: Mm.
- Giles: Happier? The father looks like he just discovered the missionary position!”
Stewart Arnott - Bernard
Richard Jenkins - Giles

“- Maria: Remember, Paris, protect the poulaki - eyes open knees shut!
- Aunt Voula: [to Maria] If your knees are open, shut your eyes.”
Lainie Kazan - Maria
Andrea Martin - Aunt Voula

“And just remember, the best thing about kids... is making them!”
Rodney Dangerfield - Thornton Melon

- Lisa Emerson: Babies and bondage, I could do both?
- Elliot Slater: Yeah, I'd love to say, "My wife is a dominatrix".
- Lisa Emerson: I can just see myself at the kids' school on career day.
Dana Delany - Lisa
Paul Mercurio - Elliot

“- Dick Kelly: We have a long standing bet: who's the better golfer. Obviously I've got the bigger three wood.
- Lenore: Good. Maybe you can use it to hit your balls right into my vagina.
- Jason Kelly: Holy shit.”
Robert De Niro - Dick Kelly
Aubrey Plaza - Lenore
Zac Efron - Jason Kelly

“- Liz Blake: Do you want to fuck me?
- Doctor Robert Elliott: Oh, yes.
- Liz Blake: Then why don't you?
- Doctor Robert Elliott: Because I'm a doctor and...
- Liz Blake: Fucked a lot of doctors.
- Doctor Robert Elliott: ...and I'm married.
- Liz Blake: Fucked a lot of them, too.”
Nancy Allen - Liz Blake
Sir Michael Caine - Doctor Robert Elliott

“You want to join the mile high club?”

Kirsten Dunst - Nicole oakley

“- Ben Campbell: You know, ever since I was 16, I crushed exams. I took on extracurricular. I showed up early. I even sat at the front of the class and stayed late. Man, I gave up everything. You know, I gave up fun. I gave up sex.
- Miles Connoly: I don't think you gave up sex.
- Ben Campbell: Okay, maybe not sex.”
Jim Sturgess - Ben Campbell

I'm sorry, I better wrap it up now, folks. 'Cause you know the old axiom in show business - "get off quick". Like Harvey on his wedding night.

Rip Taylor - Rip Taylor