Sex quotes

“- Sarah Johnson: There they are, in bed, together!
- Peter Morton: With Maggie on top?
- Sarah Johnson: Like she was in a rodeo!”

Alphonsia Emmanuel - Sarah Johnson
Stephen Fry - Peter Morton

“- Giles: Oh! God, to be young and beautiful. If I could go back to when I was 18 - I didn't know anything about anything - I'd give myself a bit of advice.
- Elisa: [in sign language] What would you say?
- Giles: I would say: Take better care of your teeth and fuck, a lot more.”
Richard Jenkins - Giles
Sally Hawkins - Elisa Esposito

“- Matt: You gotta help me. You gotta light a candle for me or something.
- John: I'm not lighting a candle so you can feel better about getting laid!”
Josh Hartnett - Matt
Adam Trese - John

“Later on tonight, we're going to fall madly in bed.”
Darren Boyd - Cooper

“- Joan: Sex is something men and women do to make a baby.
- Kid #3: Are you a virgin?
- Joan: No.
- Kid #3: Do you have a baby?
- Joan: No. People who don't want babies also have sex.
- Kid #3: What for?
- Joan: For about 10 or 15 minutes.”
Elizabeth Perkins - Joan
Heath Wagerman - Kid #3

“They wouldn't give me five minutes to consumate my marriage. Five minutes!”
Matthew Settle - Ens. Keith Larson

“Virgins. I love them. No diseases, no loose as a goose pussy, no skank. No nothing. Just pure pleasure.”
Leo Fitzpatrick - Telly

“My stomach turned the last time we made out and your gut flapped against me; those cellulite packed cactuses you call thighs with the razor sharp stubble called to mind a fifth rate porno actress that I once jerked off to during the tenure of our sorry marriage of convenience. Now I can finally tell all my friends how nauseating you are to mate...” (continue)(continue reading)

Reese Witherspoon - Ivy Miller

“- Adam Levy: We haven't had sex in like 3 weeks.
- Kate Welles: Maybe it's because you clip your toenails in our bed.”
Jon Favreau - Adam Levy
Famke Janssen - Kate Welles

“- Steff: C'mon, I'm talking about more than just sex here.
- Andie: No, you're not.
- Steff: You know, I've been out with a lot of girls at this school. I don't see what makes you so different.”
James Spader - Steff
Molly Ringwald - Andie

“- Fuzzy: What do you think happens when we die?
- Willy: We get to have sex again.”
Stephen Caffrey - Fuzzy
Campbell Scott - Willy

“I haven’t had sex in 15 years! And I want to fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!”
Robert De Niro - Dick Kelly

“- Borg Queen: Are you familiar with physical forms of pleasure?
- Data: If you are referring to sexuality, I am... fully functional, programmed in... multiple techniques.
- Borg Queen: How long since you've used them?
- Data: Eight years, seven months, sixteen days, four minutes, twenty-two...
- Borg Queen: Far too long.”
Alice Krige - Borg Queen
Brent Spiner - Data

“- Jane: Do you miss it?
- Robin: What?
- Jane: Sex.
- Robin: Yeah, I do... You know what's weird? You never know the last time you sleep with somebody it's the last time.”
Whoopi Goldberg - Jane
Mary-Louise Parker - Robin

“- Bobby Jack Moriarty: I think you're banging Emma?
- Murphy Jones: Banging? That's an ugly expression for that particular pleasure.
- Bobby Jack Moriarty: How about fucking?
- Murphy Jones: I don't like that one a whole alot better! And, if I was, it would be none of your concern.”
Brian Kerwin - Bobby Jack Moriarity
James Garner - Murphy Jones

“- Dick Kelly: We're gonna thunderfuck.
- Lenore: You're gonna tsunami on my face.
- Dick Kelly: You're gonna flood like the Nile.
- Lenore: Yeah, I guess the drought in my pussy is finally over.
- Dick Kelly: The villagers will finally eat.
- Lenore: If you're gonna die while you're eating me out, I want your last breath to be in my pussy.
-...” (continue)(continue reading)
Robert De Niro - Dick Kelly
Aubrey Plaza - Lenore
Jake Picking - Cody

“- Sarah: Tomorrow my parents are going to know I'm not a virgin anymore!
- Tom: You haven't been a virgin since college.
- Sarah: Yeah, but tomorrow they're going to know for sure.”

Brittany Murphy - Sarah
Ashton Kutcher - Tom

“- Larry Flynt: You believe God created man?
- Stills Photographer: Yeah.
- Larry Flynt: And God created woman?
- Stills Photographer: Yeah.
- Larry Flynt: Surely the same God created her vagina and who are you to defy God?”
Woody Harrelson - Larry Flynt
Stephen Dupree - Stills Photographer

“Great art is about conflict and pain and guilt and longing and love disguised as sex, and sex disguised as love... and let's face it, you got a big head start.”
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Lester Bangs

“- Shrek: I can't believe I'm going to be a father. How did this happened?
- Puss in Boots: Allow me to explain. When a man falls in love with a woman, he is overcome with powerful urges...”
Mike Myers - Shrek
Antonio Banderas - Puss in Boots

“- Duane Hansen: I love you.
- Carmen Odessa Shelby: Oh Duane, you don't even know me. I've slept with over three hundred men.
- Duane Hansen: Everyone has their faults.”
Beau Bridges - Duane Hansen
Beverly D'Angelo - Carmen Odessa Shelby

“When you touch a woman and her clit's like that you know she knows about sex like you.”
Mark Ruffalo - Detective Giovanni A. Malloy

“- Emily: Were you available for rides while we were fucking?
- Kumail: Yeah, but I only looked a couple of times.”
Zoe Kazan - Emily
Kumail Nanjiani - Kumail

“This man spews out three things: sex... hateful music... and... sex.”
Catherine Zeta-Jones - Patricia Whitmore

“She thinks fellatio is a character in Shakespeare.”
Michael Weston - Ben