Sex quotes

- Little Bill Daggett: First off, Corky never carried two guns. Though he should have.
- W.W. Beauchamp: No, no, he was, he was called "Two-Gun Corcoran".
- Little Bill Daggett: Yeah well, a lot of folks did call him "Two-Gun" but that wasn't because he was sporting two pistols. That was because he had a dick that was so big it was longer than... (continue)(continue reading)

Gene Hackman - Little Bill Daggett
Saul Rubinek - W.W. Beauchamp

“There's gonna be sex and violence.”

Jennifer Dundas - Lilly

“- George Peters: First time I had sex I was 18 years old. We were in the back seat of a parked 1938 Dodge Sedan. Right in the middle of it, we were rear-ended.
- Doris: Oh, and you didn't have any insurance?
- George Peters: No. That's not exactly what I mean. I mean, look... take last night. Do you know what the radio was playing while we were...” (continue)(continue reading)
Alan Alda - George Peters
Ellen Burstyn - Doris

“I used to play a little ball. I was small, but I made up for it by being slow.”
James Earl Jones - Earl Pilcher Jr.

“- Dana: Now remember, don't be scared! That's the most important thing. And uh, don't... don't talk about your past. That turns men off.
- Angel: I don't have a past, idiot.”

Alexa Kenin - Dana
Kristy McNichol - Angel

“- Jeff: Hi, I’m Jeff... I have a bush too. It's not grey.
- Alex: Hey!
- Jeff: What?
- Alex: My bush isn't really grey.
- Jeff: Well, not according to my mom.”
Nick Swardson - Jeff
Allen Covert - Alex

“We're not intimate dear. We just have sex occasionally.”
Debbie Reynolds - Beatrice Henderson

“- Miranda: Ummm that was incredible. Was it good for you?
- Fletcher Reede: I've had better.”

Amanda Donohoe - Miranda
Jim Carrey - Fletcher Reede

“The girl of my dreams lives under my own roof, but she thinks I'm just a kid, a dumb jock, all of which is more or less true. I'm dying, Mr. Tanneran, just like that girl in the poem... only quicker, and with a hard-on.”
Matthew Modine - Louden Swain

“- Tony Stark: I've been in captivity for three months. There are two things I want to do. One, I want an American cheeseburger, and the other...
- Pepper Potts: That's enough of that.
- Tony Stark: It's not what you think. I want you to call for a press conference.”
Robert Downey Jr. - Tony Stark
Gwyneth Paltrow - Pepper Potts

“Hey, Stoker, I'm talkin' to you... Or do you go by Stroker now, because I hear that's what your mom been doing... to your uncle. Have you been getting in on that?”

Lucas Till - Pitts

“I hope his dick is bigger than his IQ.”
Cher - Alexandra Medford

“I settle down with a nice girl every night, then I'm free the next morning.”
Joe Pesci - Tommy DeVito

“- Older Porn Actress: They should've done DVDA.
- Joe Young: DVDA?
- Older Porn Actress: Double-vaginal double-anal. It's the only way a woman of my age will get work in this industry. If you don't think that splits me open like a turkey on Thanksgiving...”
Cathy Fitzpatrick - Older Porn Actress
Trey Parker - Joe Young

“Let me handle this. Walter, listen, you're making a big deal out of nothing. You're not unique, you know. Everyone in class had sex with your sister.”
Stephen Furst - Hubert Downs

- Owen: Wally wants to go to bed with you.
- Margaret: Nobody fucks at the club, everybody's gay! It's you that thinks about fucking all the time.
- Owen: Your vocabulary is punctuated by two words: "shit" and "fuck".
Bob Brady - Owen
Anne Carlisle - Margaret

“If you're out with this girl and even thinking about getting laid, you're finished, cuz women can smell an agenda like shit on a shoe.”

Donal Logue - Dex

“- Jim Levenstein: What are you doing here?
- Stifler's Brother: Pussy, man. I'm here for the pussy.
- Jim Levenstein: Take a number.”
Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein
Eli Marienthal - Stifler's Brother

“Ugly little pink things. To think that sex could lead to something so disastrous.”

Shana Betz - Beatrice

“Call me old fashioned, but I don't believe it to be appropriate to have sex with a woman who is unconcious.”
Jude Law - Graham

“You believe in God, don't you? That God you try to get to through fucking or dope.”

Sam Neill - Mark

“To go to bed with a man and lie to him? She's a woman. She's got all the training she needs.”
Philip Anthony Hopkins - Mission Commander Swanbeck

“- Peter: The worst they would ever do is they would put you for a couple of months into a white-collar, minimum-security resort! Shit, we should be so lucky! Do you know, they have conjugal visits there?
- Samir: Really?
- Peter: Yes.
- Michael Bolton: Shit. I'm a free man and I haven't had a conjugal visit in six months.”

Ron Livingston - Peter
Ajay Naidu - Samir
David Herman - Michael Bolton

“- Cynthia: You really meant it, didn't you? What you said?
- Oz Oseransky: About loving you? Of course! What did you think this was all about?
- Cynthia: Sex. I mean, great sex...”
Natasha Henstridge - Cynthia
Matthew Perry - Oz Oseransky

“- Dr. Ben Sobel: Why do you have a girlfriend?
- Paul Vitti: I do things with her I can't do with my wife.
- Dr. Ben Sobel: Why can't you do them with your wife?
- Paul Vitti: That's the mouth she kisses my kids goodnight with! What are you, crazy?”
Billy Crystal - Dr. Ben Sobel
Robert De Niro - Paul Vitti