Sex quotes

“- Lenny Richter: Are you married?
- Jack Morrison: No.
- Lenny Richter: Are you a virgin?
- Jack Morrison: No, father.
- Lenny Richter: What? You think its funny to fornicate with loose women?”

Robert Patrick - Lenny Richter
Joaquin Phoenix - Jack Morrison

“Tad, if you are going back to the airport I will ride with you, and by the Route 73 cloverleaf, I will have given myself to you in ways you've only read about in the drugstore!”
Ginnifer Goodwin - Cathy Feely

“You have one choice, boy: sex or the saw. Sex is, well... nobody knows. But the saw... the saw is family.”

Jim Siedow - Drayton Sawyer - The Cook

“Love is 15 seconds of squishing noises.”
Eddie Kaye Thomas - Arnie

“- Megan Dayton: Whatever you do, don't shave your legs.
- Grace Briggs: Why?
- Megan Dayton: Well, then you definitely won't let it go too far.
- Grace Briggs: Megan! It's a first date!
- Megan Dayton: Yeah, well, I married a first date, missy, and you know how it is. You're out with a guy, you find him attractive, and suddenly everything he...” (continue)(continue reading)
Bonnie Hunt - Megan Dayton
Minnie Driver - Grace Briggs

“- Juan: Did they teach you all kinds of sex tricks?
- Frank: Taught me how to eat the fox, how to cum while looking at certain ferns and plants, how to prolong orgasm by self-strangulation.
- Juan: Oh yeah? Hey, that's how Lipkin died, huh?
- Frank: You know, I should have never told him about that.”
Robert Beltran - Juan
Ray Sharkey - Frank

“It's not what the pussy can do for you, it's what you can do for the pussy!”
Mickey Rourke - The Cook

“Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great, if a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate.”
Michael Palin - Dad

“- Laurie Kessler: That's nice to know. What do you have in mind, Pedro?
- Warren Stacy: I take you to a motel, we do it every way there is. How you like it? Up, down, front, back?”
Lisa Eilbacher - Laurie Kessler
Gene Davis - Warren Stacy

“- Lady Ottoline Morrell: The Carrington matter. I take it, you're still working on that.
- Lytton Strachey: Really, Ottoli, must you put things quite so boldly. I prefer to think of myself as an educator, rather than as a...
- Lady Ottoline Morrell: What?
- Lytton Strachey: As a pimp.”

Penelope Wilton - Lady Ottoline Morrell
Jonathan Pryce - Lytton Strachey

“- Niki: Look, how important do you think sex is?
- Jake VanDorn: Not very.
- Niki: Then we're just alike. I mean, you think it's so unimportant that you don't even do it. I think it's so unimportant that I don't care who I do it with.”
Season Hubley - Niki
George C. Scott - Jake VanDorn

“It's 8:05. I think I'm gonna fuck you by 10:00.”
Cate Blanchett - Petal

“You spend 15-20 minutes trying not to come and then when you do, you have to give a pretty credible performance.”
Dexter Fletcher - Charles Highway

- Jez: Did he try to "pleasure you with his tongue"?
- Georgie: Is it that obvious?
- Jez: It's kind of a compulsion with him. He has to exchange fluids with everyone he meets. That's why we never have pets.
Stuart Townsend - Jez
Kate Beckinsale - Georgie

“- Gny. Sgt. Hartman: Get your fat ass up there! I'll bet if there was some pussy up there you would get up there, wouldn't you?
- Pvt. Leonard 'Gomer Pyle' Lawrence: Sir, yes sir!”

R. Lee Ermey - Gny. Sgt. Hartman
Vincent D'Onofrio - Pvt. Leonard 'Gomer Pyle' Lawrence

“- El Guapo: Jefe, you do not understand women. You cannot force open the petals of a flower. When the flower is ready, it opens itself up to you.
- Jefe: So when do you think Carmen will open up her flower to you?
- El Guapo: Tonight, or I will kill her!”
Alfonso Arau - El Guapo
Tony Plana - Jefe

“- Alex: Hey, I need a huge favor.
- Jeff: You're not jerking off on my dad.”
Allen Covert - Alex
Nick Swardson - Jeff

“You can get it doggy-style or you can get it laying on your side. Those are your only choices. This is my house and I get to say. Got it?”

Robert De Niro - Dwight

“- Lenina Huxley: I was wondering if you would like to have sex?
- John Spartan: [surprised] Here? With you? Now?
- Lenina Huxley: Mm-hmm.
- John Spartan: Oh yeah.”
Sandra Bullock - Lenina Huxley
Sylvester Stallone - John Spartan

“- Lisabeth Hepburn-Saravian: You screwed Juan?
- To-Bel: The other one, eh, what's his name? Um, Frank. It was so degrading. I felt like some fabulous farm animal.”
Mary Woronov - Lisabeth Hepburn-Saravian
Arnetia Walker - To-Bel

“- Zoe: We fit together.
- Zed: All men and women fit together. Even some men fit together.”
Julie Delpy - Zoe
Eric Stoltz - Zed

- Erica Sutton: If I told you, "Don't think about the color red", what would you think about?
- Matt: Sex.
Shannyn Sossamon - Erica Sutton
Josh Hartnett - Matt

“Hello? I'm opening the door, if you want to stop what you're doing and put your clothes on!”

Susan Blanchard - Kelly

“As far as you're concerned any sex we had is entirely a product of your imagination.”

Linda Fiorentino - Bridget Gregory

Sucker play or not, I must have turned her on somethin' fierce. 'Cause this dame was goin' for broke. Maybe it was her first time with a New Yorker, I dunno. Anyway, nothing beats good old American know-how. And I was givin' this broad "The Stars and Stripes Forever".

Richard Romanus - Harry Canyon