Sex quotes

“- Rose Lindsey: Sue Ellen, have you ever had a 48 hour orgasm?
- Swell: No, I've never been to Santa Barbara.”
Joanna Cassidy - Rose Lindsey
Christina Applegate - Swell

“- Ariel: I got a hot flash for you. Sex is nice.
- Emily Eden: Sex is nice... How would you know?”
Eric Thal - Ariel
Melanie Griffith - Emily Eden

“- Ryan: So you're not into her?
- Matt: I'm totally into her.
- Ryan: So how can you not want to fuck her?”
Paulo Costanzo - Ryan
Josh Hartnett - Matt

“When you know too much about a person, sometimes it's hard to think of them sexually, but when you know someone in a sexual way, it's hard to think of them as a person.”
Lorri Bagley - Judy

“- Mark: The biggest joke is that you have more problems than anyone I know, yet you want to become a therapist. What are you going to do? Counsel people to kill themselves? Because that's what I feel like doing after listening to you whine for an hour.
- Munchkin Beth: Is that what you really feel?
- Mark: Yes it is. Now if you don't mind, can...” (continue)(continue reading)
Eric McCormack - Mark
Mandy Ingber - Munchkin Beth

“- Tina Shenk: Is Jake your only child?
- Kate Baker: Oh no. We have 12.
- Tom Baker: I couldn't keep her off of me.”
Paula Marshall - Tina Shenk
Bonnie Hunt - Kate Baker
Steve Martin - Tom Baker

“Julius is the only senior I would even consider doing it with.”
Sharlene Martin - Tamara Mason

“Don Giovanni slept with thousands of women because he was afraid he wouldn't be loved by one.”
Greer Goodman - Syd

“- Claire Standish: Why didn't you want me to know that you are a virgin?
- Brian Johnson: Because it's my business, my personal business.
- John Bender: Well, Brian, it doesn't sound like you're doing any business.”
Molly Ringwald - Claire Standish
Anthony Michael Hall - Brian Johnson
Judd Nelson - John Bender

“My parents fucked once in their lives. That's why we're twins, they didn't want to make it twice.”
Eva Green - Isabelle

“- Jack Byrnes: I'm a realist. I understand it's the 21st century and you've probably had premarital relations with my daughter. But under our roof, it's my way or the Long Island Expressway. Is that understood?
- Greg Focker: Of course, yeah.
- Jack Byrnes: Good. Keep your snake in its cage for 72 hours.”
Robert De Niro - Jack Byrnes
Ben Stiller - Greg Focker

“- Lt. Col. 'Bull' Meechum: I didn't know you looked so stacked, sports fans.
- Mary Anne Meechum: How sicko sexual can you get?”
Robert Duvall - Lt. Col. 'Bull' Meechum
Lisa Jane Persky - Mary Anne Meechum

“- Meg: I've been taking my temperature and I know I'm ovulating right now. The ground is ready, I just need someone to plant the seed.
- Sarah: Yeah, but who's going to be the lucky farmer?”
Mary Kay Place - Meg
Glenn Close - Sarah

“You know how to keep a dog from humping your leg? Pick up the dog and suck his dick.”
Paul Mazursky - Artie

“You are far weirder than someone merely into S&M. At least they have a tradition. We have some idea what S&M is about. There's movies and books about it. But so far as I know, there is nothing to explain the way you are.”

Chris Eigeman - Fred Boynton

“- Nick: It's good to see you again... I'm-I'm sorry, I didn't know we were on the clock yet.
- Kate: Okay, just shush, grab my ass, kiss my neck, and pull me into the office, okay?”
Jay Mohr - Nick
Jennifer Aniston - Kate

“- Rusty Griswold: Dad, I think he's gonna pork her.
- Clark Griswold: He's not gonna pork her, Russ.
- Rusty Griswold: I think he's gonna.
- Clark Griswold: He may pork her, finish your breakfast.”

Jason Lively - Rusty Griswold
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“Dear bitch, see how accessible you are? How would you liked to be fucked with a meat cleaver?”

Michael Biehn - Douglas Breen

“Who am I? I'm the motherfuckin’ virgin surgeon!”
Leo Fitzpatrick - Telly

“- Charlie Tucci: Are you fucking my sister?
- Paulie Carbone: What kind of question is that?
- Charlie Tucci: It's a good question.”
David Dundara - Charlie Tucci
John Turturro - Paulie Carbone

“I can't wait to take leave so I can get me some fucking poontang.”

Trey Parker - Mr. Herbert Garrison

“- Daniel McMann: Are you ready? Cause I'm ready!
- Carla Tate: No Daniel, uh, I'm not ready.
- Daniel McMann: Ohh.
- Carla Tate: I was thinking we could wait 'til the next holiday cause holidays are special.
- Daniel McMann: Oh cause I feel special right now Carla.”
Giovanni Ribisi - Danny
Juliette Lewis - Carla

“- Roberta: You can't get pregnant from french-kissing!
- Chrissy: I know that, beetle-brain, but it's common knowledge that if you tongue-kiss a boy, he automatically thinks you'll do the deed with him. They can't help it. They're driven. It's the male curse.
- Samantha: Oh? And what deed would that be?
- Chrissy: You know... planting the seed...” (continue)(continue reading)
Christina Ricci - Roberta
Rita Wilson - Chrissy
Demi Moore - Samantha

“- Tracy: Let's fool around, it'll take your mind off it.
- Isaac: How many times a night can you, how, how often can you make love in an evening?
- Tracy: Well, a lot.
- Isaac: I can tell, a lot. That's, well, a lot is my favorite number.”
Mariel Hemingway - Tracy
Woody Allen - Isaac

“I'm going to hell for sure. Here he is, talking about his poor dead mother and I can't help wishing his hands were unbuttoning my dress!”
Winona Ryder - Charlotte Flax