Sex quotes

“- Wendy: Just tell the guys that you called up all the girls in your harem and none of them wanted to do it with all those jerks.
- Pee Wee: I bet you would.
- Wendy: I don't have a harem.
- Pee Wee: That's not what I heard.”
Kaki Hunter - Wendy
Dan Monahan - Pee Wee

“- Pam: Sex with you is really a Kafkaesque experience.
- Alvy Singer: Thank you.
- Pam: It's a compliment.”
Shelley Duvall - Pam
Woody Allen - Alwy Singer

“- Vanessa Kensington: Do you smoke after sex?
- Austin: I don't know, baby, I never looked.”
Liz Hurley - Vanessa Kensington
Mike Myers - Austin Powers

“- Eli: Matt, she's a porn star! Okay? Take her to a motel room and bang her like a beast!
- Matthew Kidman: Eli, I like this girl.
- Eli: And you can still like her with your penis inside her. Matthew, I tell you that you're going to regret this. What would JFK do? You know he'd tap that ass.”
Chris Marquette - Eli
Emile Hirsch - Matthew Kidman

“Rule one of sex: a person can do anything for ten minutes if they don't breath in.”
Christina Ricci - Dede Truitt

“- Vanessa Kensington: Mr. Powers, I would never have sex with you, ever! If you were the last man on earth and I was the last woman on earth, and the future of the human race depended on our having sex, simply for procreation, I still would not have sex with you.
- Austin Powers: What's your point, Vanessa?”
Liz Hurley - Vanessa Kensington
Mike Myers - Austin Powers

“- Andy: What do you wanna do?
- Keiran: Let's have sex.
- Andy: That's a rare idea. All we do is have sex. I think one day you're gonna kill me if I can't perform.”
Luke Wilson - Andy
Kristin Lehman - Keiran

“- Alicia Browning: It hurts.
- Deanna Cartwright: What does?
- Alicia Browning: The first time you do it. It hurts. It's what every virgin wants to know, right? It hurts. It burns sort of.”
Busy Philipps - Alicia Browning
Erika Christensen - Deanna Cartwright

Sex kills, Bill. You just - you won't accept that. But why do you think there's no more real Hawaiians, huh? And why would they bother coming up with the phrase "died in childbirth" if it only happened one time? It's fucking dangerous, sex!
Lisa Kudrow - Lucia DeLury

“Now you're talking my language. Old enough to know how it's done and young enough to still want to do it.”

Bill Macy - Doo-Dah

“Me and my wife had a great sex life, we use to have sex once a week. but then she died... then it was 3 or 4 times a week.”
Danny Murphy - Mr. Murphy

“Rape... they'll check to see if she was raped right? Maybe Liz had a friend over, you know, Mommy and Daddy's last night away, maybe he's from school, maybe not. But definitely into kink.”

Rose McGowan - Courtney

“- Lydia Callahan: The timed mastery of a horse is nothing more than competitive sex, proof that man can subjugate anythin' wild and beautiful once he gets it between his legs.
- Delores: What gets me is they want a belt buckle for lastin' eight seconds.”
Jennifer Jason Leigh - Lydia Callahan
Angela Featherstone - Delores

“- Scott: I've already decided if nothing happens by the time I am 20, I'm gonna cut it off.
- Ralph Carr: How you going to pee there Scott?
- Scott: Sittin' down.”

Kiefer Sutherland - Scott
Robert Downey Jr. - Ralph Carr

“That's Henry's mother, the black sheep in the family. She took so many strokes in the 60s they called her the U.S. open.”
Catherine Zeta-Jones - Kitty

“It was the early eighties, and sex was still a good way to meet new people.”

Lea Thompson - Stacy

“- Elliot Richards: Is that all you ever think about? Do you think everything is about sex?
- The Devil: No, of course not! I mean, there's greed, gluttony, sloth, anger, vanity, envy.”
Brendan Fraser - Elliot Richards
Liz Hurley - The Devil

“- Paula Olsen: All the research shows that children who perceive their parents enjoying a good sex-life grow up to have far better sexual relationships themselves.
- Jerome Lovell: Is that so?
- Paula Olsen: Yea, that's so.”
Natasha Richardson - Paula Olsen
Liam Neeson - Jerome Lovell

“- Crook #1: One hundred and twenty-five years without a woof of pussy. How'd that make you feel, Mason?
- Crook #2: Mean. Very, very mean!”

“- Junior Healey: What are you getting onto me for? I didn't do anything. I just watched it.
- Ben Healey: Yes, and so did the entire neighborhood.
- Junior Healey: I didn't hear any complaints.”

Michael Oliver - Junior Healy
John Ritter - Ben Healy

“- Detective Marcus Burnett: You a virgin?
- Reggie: Yes, sir.
- Detective Marcus Burnett: Good. Keep it that way. Ain't gonna be no fucking tonight.
- Detective Mike Lowrey: You ever made love to a man?
- Reggie: No.
- Detective Mike Lowrey: You want to?”

Martin Lawrence - Detective Marcus Burnett
Dennis Greene - Reggie
Will Smith - Detective Mike Lowrey

“I drive my first car at nine. I overhaul my first transmission at ten. At thirteen I turn the quarter mile in under 12 seconds... and I wait until now to get laid?”
Mark Hamill - Kenneth W. Dantley Jr.

“- Rodney Fraser: Have you noticed that you're the only practicing heterosexual at your Thanksgiving dinner?
- Nina Borowski: I haven't practiced for a while.”
Nigel Hawthorne - Rodney Fraser
Jennifer Aniston - Nina Borowski

“- Duncan's Dad: Julie, have you ever wondered about our son's sexual preference?
- Duncan's Mom: You know, I never really were aware that he had one.”
Meshach Taylor - Duncan's Dad
Mariann Aalda - Duncan's Mom

“- Oliver Rose: You weren't even multi-orgasmic before you met me, were you?
- Barbara Rose: You really expect me to keep on reassuring you sexually even now when we disgust each other?”
Michael Douglas - Oliver Rose
Kathleen Turner - Barbara Rose