Sex quotes

“- Maggie Chester: You slept with Sarah, I know you did!
- Peter Morton: Oh, my dear, the Archbishop of Canterbury has slept with Sarah! And that was years ago.”

Emma Thompson - Maggie Chester
Stephen Fry - Peter Morton

“- Ellie: We didn't communicate.
- Val: We had sex!
- Ellie: Yes, we had sex. But we never talked.
- Val: Sex is better than talk. Ask anybody in this bar. Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.”
Téa Leoni - Ellie
Woody Allen - Val

“- Austin: Well, how could you do it?
- Felicity Shagwell: I was just doing my job.
- Austin: No, I mean, literally, how could you do it? The man's so fat, the sheer mechanics of it are mind-boggling.”

Mike Myers - Austin Powers
Heather Graham - Felicity Shagwell

“- Avon Rose: I just don't want you to make the same mistakes I did when it comes to sex. You have to pay for them.
- Caitlin Rose: Yeah, I'm living proof.
- Avon Rose: I have dreams for you, that's all.
- Caitlin Rose: Well, I got my own dreams.”
Isabella Hofmann - Avon Rose
Tiffani Thiessen - Caitlin Rose

- Stephanie Kehoe: "It's complicated"? What kind of answer is that?
- Marisa Ventura: Honest.
- Stephanie Kehoe: The only thing complicated between me and him would be unhooking my bra strap.
- Marisa Ventura: Look, what am I supposed to do? Make his bed with me in it? Get real! He thinks I'm a guest, here.

Marissa Matrone - Stephanie Kehoe
Jennifer Lopez - Marisa Ventura

“- Joe MacGonaughgill: I'd be happy to blow your mind but... can we just lie down?
- Jane Lindquist: In a minute.”
Eric Schaeffer - Joe MacGonaughgill
Elle Macpherson - Jane Lindquist

“- Larry: What does your cunt taste like?
- Alice: Heaven.”
Clive Owen - Larry
Natalie Portman - Alice

“- Macleane: My angel, my siren's song, you've ambushed me in the forests of your hair, you've drowned me in the pools of your eyes, you've shackled me to the...
- Lady Darcy: Do shut up! Fuck me!”
Jonny Lee Miller - Macleane
Caroline Quentin - Lady Darcy

“Having orgies including goats doesn't make them possessed, simply horny... and inventive.”
Stellan Skarsgård - Father Merrin

“- Charlie Dick: I want to get to know you better.
- Patsy Cline: Ok, now what does that mean?
- Charlie Dick: Means I want to get to know you better.
- Patsy Cline: See, I figure when you say you want to get to know me better, what you really mean is you want a ten minute screw in the back seat of your car.
- Charlie Dick: Son of a bitch. You...” (continue)(continue reading)
Ed Harris - Charlie Dick
Jessica Lange - Patsy Cline

“Are you guys hiring? Because no one cares about love anymore so why not just have sex and get paid for it?”

Jenny McCarthy - Rebecca Sommers

“It's just not fair that they get to flaunt that stuff, you know... and like, I have to hide every erection I get. Just imagine if girls weren't weirded out by our boners and stuff, and just like wanted to see them. That's the world I one day want to live in.”
Michael Cera - Evan

“- Charlene Morton: Pretend I'm your wife. Talk dirty to me.
- Peter Sanderson: Um, okay... I wanna kiss you a lot!”
Queen Latifah - Charlene Morton
Steve Martin - Peter Sanderson

“- Alonzo: I've got five. All boys. You ever need a son, you let me know. I'll hook your old lady up. I can't miss.
- Jake: Can we not talk about my family?
- Alonzo: That's cool, I respect that. I remember what it was to have a pretty young bride. You probably still fuck her face to face, don't you?”
Denzel Washington - Alonzo
Ethan Hawke - Jake

“You try making love to a complete stranger in a hostile, mutant environment, see how you like it.”
Roddy Piper - Sam Hell

“- Leo Bloom: Oh, Max. Max, she's fantastic. The most beautiful girl I've ever seen. I've never felt this way before. It's like a volcano erupting inside of me... like hot lava rising higher and higher and - What is that, Max? What is it?
- Max Bialystock: It's called an erection. It's either that or malaria.”
Matthew Broderick - Leo Bloom
Nathan Lane - Max Bialystock

“- Eric: Just tell me one thing. I'm not a vain person. Was the sex any good at all?
- Cheryl: No. I'm sorry. It was bad.”
Brian McCardie - Eric
Jennifer Albano - Cheryl

“You got your choice to make, destroy your marriage and break your husband's heart, or have sex with me right now.”

Tim Blake Nelson - Bubba

“- Suzy DeSoto: I'd still like a job.
- Fauna Flood: As what?
- Suzy DeSoto: You know, a... floozy.
- Fauna Flood: Well first off, we don't call ourselves floozies in here. And second, you ever done this kind of thing before?
- Suzy DeSoto: What do you got to do besides lie down?
- Fauna Flood: You gotta pretend that you like it!”
Debra Winger - Suzy DeSoto
Audra Lindley - Fauna Flood

“I know what you can't say. You wanna get laid. You wanna hump your brains out.”
Maureen Stapleton - Ma Kelly

“- Jackie Flannery: Hey. I love the noises Irene makes in bed, man.
- Terry Noonan: Me too!”
Gary Leonard Oldman - Jackie Flannery
Sean Penn - Terry Noonan

“Iris? Oh yeah, she's a big conquest. She's given more rides than Greyhound!”

Amanda Peterson - Cindy Mancini

“- Susan: I'm not so sure we should do this.
- Josh: Do what?
- Susan: Well, I like you, and I want to spend the night with you.
- Josh: Do you mean sleep over?
- Susan: Well, yeah.
- Josh: Ok... but I get to be on top.”

Elizabeth Perkins - Susan
Tom Hanks - Josh

“Sex, like everything else, is largely a mystery. I mean, there's no such thing as normal sex, normal sex is a matter of statistics. What may be normal for the vast majority is no criterion of behavior for the exceptional person.”
Geneviève Bujold - Nancy

“- Elaine: What on earth have you got in that foolish-looking little bag?
- George: My raincoat and rubbers.”
Mercedes Ruehl - Elaine
Gene Wilder - George