Smoking quotes

“- Referee: What are you doing with that cigar in your mouth?
- Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff: Why? Do you know another way to smoke it?”

Groucho Marx - Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff

- Fanny Ronalds: Lady Colin is endeavoring to persuade us to take up smoking. She's writing an article for the "Saturday Review". She proposes that nicotine is a gift from the gods, and if men may benefit from its soothing qualities, why then may women not also? My poor daughter now believes that smoking is an extension of the... communion... (continue)(continue reading)
Eleanor David - Fanny Ronalds
Allan Corduner - Arthur Sullivan

“- Lori Campbell: What are you doing? I thought you were gonna quit.
- Gibb: I only smoke when I drink now.
- Kia Waterson: But you're always drinking.”
Monica Keena - Lori Campbell
Katharine Isabelle - Gibb
Kelly Rowland - Kia Waterson

“- Stewardess Stacey: Sir, there's no smoking on airplanes.
- Don Ready: I know! It's ridiculous, isn't it? Don't worry about it, I'll be quick.”
Kristen Schaal - Stewardess Stacey
Jeremy Piven - Don Ready

“Someone is either a smoker or a nonsmoker. There's no in-between.
The trick is to find out which one you are, and be that. If you're a
nonsmoker, you'll know.”
Robin Williams - Doctor Cozy Carlisle

“- Penny Escher: I suppose you smoked all these cigarettes?
- Karen Eiffel: No, they came pre-smoked.”
Queen Latifah - Penny Escher
Emma Thompson - Karen Eiffel

“Teen smoking, our bread and butter, is falling like a shit from heaven! We don't sell Tic Tacs for Christ's sake. We sell cigarettes. And they're cool and available and addictive. The job is almost done for us!”
J. K. Simmons - BR

“- Buck Russell: Hey, I stopped smoking cigarettes.
- Cindy Russell: Oh, good.
- Buck Russell: Isn't that something? I'm on to cigars now. I'm on to a five-year plan. I eliminated cigarettes, then I go to cigars, then I go to pipes, then I go to chewing tobacco, then I'm on to that nicotine gum.”
John Candy - Buck Russell
Elaine Bromka - Cindy Russell

“- Racetrack: That's my cigar!
- Snipeshooter: You'll steal another!”
Max Casella - Racetrack Higgins
Matthew Schoenfeld - Snipeshooter

“- Phil: Aw, Jesus, Bernie. Come on with the smoke. You know the doctor found nicotine in my urine again.
- Bernie White: Then keep your dick out of my ashtray.”
Jack Kehoe - Phil
Robert Duvall - Bernie White

“- Nick Naylor: Now what we need is a smoking role model. A real winner.
- Jeff Megall: Indiana Jones meets Jerry Maguire.
- Nick Naylor: Right, on two packs a day.”
Aaron Eckhart - Nick Naylor
Rob Lowe - Jeff Megall

“- Lula Fortune: When did you start smoking, Sail?
- Sailor Ripley: I guess I started smoking when I was about four. My momma was already dead then from lung cancer.”
Laura Dern - Lula Fortune
Nicolas Cage - Sailor Ripley

“- Gomez Addams : Remember that fateful night?
- Uncle Fester Addams : Of course... Your first cigar!
- Gomez Addams : What? Come on, Old Man, I've smoked since I was five. Mother insisted.”
Raul Julia - Gomez Addams
Chris Lloyd - Uncle Fester

“- Dennis: Would you watch things around here for a minute? I'm gonna go for a smoke.
- Miss Purdah: Go for a smoke? But, Dennis, they've got guns, drugs! One of 'em tried to kill ya! I'm stayin' to watch!”

John Candy - Dennis
Valri Bromfield - Miss Purdah

“- Doctor Martha Livingston: Suppose the saints would have smoked if tobacco'd been popular back then?
- Mother Miriam Ruth: Undoubtably. Not the ascetics, of course, but, well, St. Thomas More.
- Doctor Martha Livingston: Long, thin, and filtered!
- Mother Miriam Ruth: St. Ignatius would smoke cigars and then stub them out on the soles of his...” (continue)(continue reading)
Jane Seymour Fonda - Doctor Martha Livingston
Anne Bancroft - Mother Miriam Ruth

“- Carl Purdue: No thanks, I'm trying to quit.
- Ginger: These aren't cigarettes. They don't kill you. They let you live, baby.”

Adam Roarke - Carl Purdue
Val Kline - Ginger

“- Janine: Are you sure your guys aren't sneaking around here? And smoking? And lying to me? And smoking? I need you to be honest with me, Javier. Because I can't have someone lying to me. To my face. Under my roof. On my time.
- Javier: That's a lot of prepositions...”
Jennifer Lynn Connelly - Janine
Luis Guzmán - Javier

“Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.”
Woody Allen

“- Walt Price: Would you like a cigar?
- Mayor George Bailey: Aren't these illegal?
- Walt Price: Why would they be illegal?
- Mayor George Bailey: Well, the trade embargo with Cuba.
- Walt Price: Nobody tells me anything.”
William H. Macy - Walt Price
Charles Durning - Mayor George Bailey

“Only whores smoke in public.”
Anthony Quinn - Tibey

“- Louise Bryant: Would you rather I not smoke during rehearsal?
- Eugene O'Neill: I'd rather you went up in flames than crush out your cigarette during a monologue about birth.”
Diane Keaton - Louise Bryant
Jack Nicholson - Eugene O'Neill

“Is that all you're gonna do this weekend? Smoke dope?”
Larry Zerner - Shelly

“- Uncle Elroy: I bet you smoke a lil' weed, don't ya?
- Craig Jones: Why do say that?
- Uncle Elroy: [looks at him] Cause your lip's turnin' black!”
Don 'D.C.' Curry - Uncle Elroy
Ice Cube - Craig Jones

“I suppose having to do without drugs, she has to do something. Do you think we could get her to start smoking?”
Simon Callow - Simon Asquith

“Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.”

Brooke Shields