Son quotes

“Steffi, bring down a copy of my will... and an eraser.”

Alan Alda - Bob

“I look at having a baby as the opportunity of a lifetime. Sure there may be risk involved, but that's true for anybody.”
Julia Roberts - Shelby Eatenton Latcherie

“I'll gouge your right eye out with my thumb, I shit you not, you little freak! Now, will you get down here? I'm gonna punch you in the eye till it turns to jelly! I'll stab you with forks till you bleed, how bout that?”

Larry Miller - Max Berman

“You're dead to me, son. You're even more dead to me than your dead mother.”
Jon Voight - Larry Zoolander

“- Jennifer 'Jenny' Morgan: I heard about your good news, congratulations, the children will finally have a mother again.
- Vivian Berger: Oh, I wouldn't go that far, boarding schools in Switzerland are year-round you know.”
Heidi Lenhart - Jennifer 'Jenny' Morgan
Jane Sibbett - Vivian Berger

“I lost my son. He was just... he went into a hamburger joint and someone came, a hold-up man, and shot him. I can't go to dinner with people. I can't... can't talk to their little boys. You have to stop asking me. I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I'm just not up to this. Do you hear? Every day, I tell myself it's time to be getting over...” (continue)(continue reading)
William Hurt - Macon

“- Captain Klaus Woermann: Who's this?
- Dr. Cuza: My son. He died in Spain. Five years ago this month. Fighting on the republican side. Where you in Spain?
- Captain Klaus Woermann: If I were, I would have been in the Thälmann brigade. The anti-fascist Germans. Your son and I, we would have been fighting on the same side. But no, I wasn't.”

Jürgen Prochnow - Woermann
Sir Ian McKellen - Dr. Theodore Cuza

“You asked me how I'm doing. You wanna know how I'm doing? I can't get a job.. All my friends? Gone. I'm being followed by the FBI everywhere I go. I lost my house. I can't even buy my son a bike for Christmas.”

Robert De Niro - David Merrill

“- Dr. Robert Doback: You have one month to find jobs or you're out on your asses. I will arrange interviews for Monday and you will go!
- Dale Doback: Dad, why are you talking to me like this? I'm your son.
- Dr. Robert Doback: I'm not buying that crap anymore!”
Richard Jenkins - Dr. Robert Doback
John C. Reilly - Dale Doback

“- Sheriff Tombstone Fletcher: You mean he's really your son?
- Charlie Chan: Must admit to dubious honor.”

Slim Summerville - Sheriff Tombstone Fletcher
Sidney Toler - Charlie Chan

“- Tobias 'Toby' Wolff: My application forms must've come today and he threw 'em away!
- Dwight Hansen: Hey, I thought I was helping him. Thought I save him some trouble, 'cause he got no chance of gettin' into some fancy prep school.”

Leonardo DiCaprio - Toby
Robert De Niro - Dwight

“Is this not the most handsome young man you've ever seen in your life? Used to call him a young Jewish Marlon Brando.”
Dustin Hoffman - Bernie Focker

“- John Bradley: I wanted to tell you I'm sorry I wasn't a better father.
- James Bradley: Sorry? You were the best father a man could have.”
George Grizzard - John Bradley
Tom McCarthy - James Bradley

“Robert, I'm offering you a choice. You can either be the baby's father or his uncle.”
Madonna - Abbie Reynolds

“- Pierce: There. He's your son.
- Agar: I don't have no son!
- Pierce: Louisa says he's your son.
- Agar: Louisa! She wouldn't know, would she? Is that him? He's not my son! He's too ugly to be my son!”

Sir Sean Connery - Pierce
Donald Sutherland - Agar

“- Bonasera: Yes. What do you want me to do?
[the two walk into the embalming room, where a corpse lies on a table]
- Don Vito Corleone: [staring at the table] I want you to use all your powers, and all your skills. I don't want his mother to see him this way.
[he draws back the sheet to reveal, to a horrified Bonasera, the bullet-smashed face of...” (continue)(continue reading)
Salvatore Corsitto - Bonasera
Marlon Brando - Don Vito Corleone

“It is about time, that you gave up that stupid dream of yours, once and for all! No son of mine is gonna be a career musician... ever, ever, ever!”

Lin Shaye - Mrs. Bruce

“- Simon: I just wish I could have seen him grow up, you know.
- Terry Rapson: The important thing is he will grow up.”

Adrian Lester - Simon
Sir Ian Holm - Terry Rapson

“- Goofy: It's gonna be a long time before you see your old man again. What, maybe Christmas?
Max: Ah, Dad, it'll go by fast. Not too fast, I hope.”
Bill Farmer - Goofy
Max Goof - Max Goof

“For you, killing your son was like running over a dog in the street. Just something in your way.”

Jet Li - Han Sing

“Just last week I got a $1000 check from my oldest son. He asked me to sign it and send it back.”
Soupy Sales - Moses

“- Eddie Sparks: Alright. How long's it now been - eight years since Michael is dead?
- Dixie Leonard: You shut up!
- Eddie Sparks: No. You let me talk. Now enough is enough here. That boy needs a father. He needs a man in his life - somebody he can talk to, somebody who can teach him, somebody who can show him.”
James Caan - Eddie Sparks
Bette Midler - Dixie Leonard

“No one is good or bad, but if you want, I'm the bad one. And if I knew he existed in this world, I would have never had Bob with you!”

Isabelle Adjani - Anna

“- Speed's Teacher: Your son seems to be interested in only one thing. All he talks about, all he seems capable of thinking about, is automobile racing.
- Mom: Well, you know, his father designs racing cars.
- Speed's Teacher: And where is your husband?
- Mom: Working. He couldn't be here.
- Speed's Teacher: Perhaps the apple hasn't fallen very...” (continue)(continue reading)
Melissa Holroyd - Speed's Teacher
Susan Sarandon - Mom

“My mother was rather an atrocious woman in her way, but her many failings did not include raising mentally deficient sons.”
David Warner - Stevenson