Television quotes

“- Frank Galvin: I changed my life today, what did you do?
- Laura Fischer: I changed my room at the hotel.
- Frank Galvin: Why did you do that?
- Laura Fischer: TV didn't work.”
Paul Newman - Frank Galvin
Charlotte Rampling - Laura Fischer

“- Adam: Why does O.T. have a knife in his mouth? Does he really expect trouble?
- Stu: Nah, he always wanted to swim with one. He saw it once on television.”
Perry Lang - Adam
Paul Land - Stu

“You know the only thing more pathetic than Indians on TV? Indians watching Indians on TV!”
Evan Adams - Thomas Builds-the-Fire

Millions of kids see this cartoon, it's like sending each one of them a pack of cigarettes and saying "light up".

Robin Williams - Daniel Hillard

“You aren't really anybody in America if you're not on TV.”
Nicole Kidman - Suzanne Stone

Why don't they make shows about people's daily lives you'd be interested in watching? You know, like "Sick Old Man" or "Skinny Little Weakling". "Big Fat Guy". Wouldn't you watch a show called "Big Fat Guy"? I'd watch that fucking show.
Nicky Katt - Stacy the Hitman

“- Sheraton: What time is it?
- Andy: What difference does it make?
- Sheraton: Well, if I knew what time it was, I'd know what's on TV. I'm not even sure what day it is.”
Martin Zentz - Sheraton
Terry Wells - Andy

“It's almost time, kids. The clock is ticking. Be in front of your TV sets for the Horrorthon, followed by the Big Giveaway. Don't miss it. And don't forget to wear your masks. The clock is ticking. It's almost time.”
Tommy Lee Wallace - Silver Shamrock Commercial Announcer

- Freb: What's on Magnum P.I.'s license plate?
- Tumbler: "ROBIN-1".
- Kip Raines: Wait, wasn't Robin that faggoty guy that always hung with him?
- Memphis Raines: Naw, that was Higgins. That was Higgins.

James Duval - Freb
Scott Caan - Tumbler
Giovanni Ribisi - Kip Raines
Nicolas Cage - Memphis Raines

“- Fat Man: You get out of here fella. I'm trying to watch the Smurfs.
- Jack Chester: You're trying to watch the Smurfs?
- Fat Man: Yeah.
- Jack Chester: Did you see the one where Papa Smurf took a crutch and smashed the shit out of a guy with a red hat? Did you see that one? You want to see that one?”
John Candy - Jack Chester
Roger Perkovich - Fat Man

Walt Disney described the art of animation as a voyage of discovery, into the realms of color, sound, and motion. The music from Igor Stravinsky's ballet "The Firebird" inspires such a voyage.
Dame Angela Lansbury - Herself - Hostess (segment "Firebird Suite - 1919 Version")

“Hard to believe all the these people, independently, came up with this for a career.”

Peter Riegert - Eric McMerkin

“This here's the TV. Two hours a day, maximum, either... either educational or football, so's, y'know, you don't ruin your appreciation of the finer things.”
Nicolas Cage - H.I. McDunnough

“We're not stuck in the goddamn middle ages here. I mean, we've got TV. We've got Family Feud.”
Chris Penn - Willard

“I'm sick and tired of our generation being called the TV generation. What do you expect? We watched Lee Harvey Oswald get his brains blown out all over. How could we change the channel after that?”
Denis Colin Leary - Himself

“Technologically speaking, the world's out of hand. Take the VCR. The whole idea of a VCR is that it makes it possible for you to tape what's on television while you're out of the house. But the whole point of being out of the house is so you can miss what's on television. Radio. Now there's a medium I can get behind.”
Greg Kinnear - Frank Navasky

Tony Nocholino, who plays, as you know, Latino cut-up "Scooter" on the new hit comedy series "What's the Difference?" airing between "Recycled Junk" starring Lisa Campbell and "Same Old Crap" featuring teen heartthrob Mark Swenson, all part of the great fall lineup on our network's "Who gives a rat's ass?" Thursdays.
Bob Costas - Bob Costas

“TV rots your brains.”
Eda Reiss Merin - Mrs. Sturak

“Tonight, on the Clamp Cable Classic Movie Channel, don't miss Casablanca, now in full color with a happier ending.”
Neil Ross - Announcer

“There's the television. It's all right there - all right there. Look, listen, kneel, pray. Commercials! We're not productive anymore. We don't make things anymore. It's all automated. What are we for then?”
Brad Pitt - Jeffrey Goines

“- Neville Coltrane: Mate, Beijing called. We've got the television rights to their public executions.
- Rod McCain: Worldwide?
- Neville Coltrane: Five guys a week, guaranteed.
- Rod McCain: Beauty.”
Bille Brown - Neville Coltrane
Kevin Kline - Rod McCain

“Television. Television is the explanation for this - you see this in bad television. Little assault guys creeping through the vents, coming in through the ceiling - that James Bond shit never happens in real life! Professionals don't do that!”
Willem Dafoe - Paul Smecker

“Cheating on a quiz show? That's sort of like plagiarizing a comic strip.”
Paul Scofield - Mark Van Doren

“Thermograph check ok. Whisper mode check ok. Let's see what's on HBO tonight ok?”
Daniel Stern - Officer Richard Lymangood

“Now remember sweet face, zillions of people all over the world are gonna be watching you; and that means no farting, no picking your nose and no playing with little Mr. Peabody.”

Ellen McElduff - Make-Up Woman