Television quotes

“This is just like television, only you can see much further.”

Peter Sellers - Chance

“- John: Mom, the TV's broken. What are we gonna do all night?
- Connie: Celebrate the birth of Christ!”
Phillip Nicoll - John
Christine Baranski - Connie

“- Jerry Palter: We don't want people to reach for their remotes here.
- Mark Shubb: It's public television.
- Alan Barrows: They don't have remotes.”
Michael McKean - Jerry Palter
Harry Shearer - Mark Shubb
Christopher Guest - Alan Barrows

Three tomatoes are walking down the street: a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Poppa tomato gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato, and smooshes him... and says, "catch up".

Uma Thurman - Mia Wallace

“Jeffrey Wigand, who's out on a limb, does he go on television and tell the truth? Yes. Is it newsworthy? Yes. Are we gonna air it? Of course not. Why? Because he's not telling the truth? No. Because he is telling the truth. That's why we're not going to air it. And the more truth he tells, the worse it gets!”

Al Pacino - Lowell Bergman

“- Dolly Harshaw: There's only two things to do in this town. You got a TV?
- Harry Madox: Nope.
- Dolly Harshaw: Well then, you're down to one. Lotsa luck!”
Virginia Madsen - Dolly Harshaw
Don Johnson - Harry Madox

- Suzanne Stone Maretto: When you work all day, trying to perfect yourself and create something meaningful, you expect some support. Does anyone ever say "Did you have a good shoot today?" or "How's the editing going?" or anything of that nature?
- Lydia Mertz: I guess not.
- Suzanne Stone Maretto: No. I mean, the point is... Larry is a nice guy... (continue)(continue reading)
Nicole Kidman - Suzanne Stone
Alison Folland - Lydia Mertz

Next week on "World of the Psychic". Hairless cats... weird.

Bill Murray - Dr. Peter Venkman

“Why do we sit so close? Maybe it was because we wanted to receive the images first. The screen was really a screen. It screened us from the world.”

Michael Pitt - Matthew

“- Helen Knable: Let me get this straight. We've been sucked into some kind of TV world?
- Roy Knable: Are you saying that that salesman was...
- Crowley: Mr. Spike, Mephistopheles of the cathode ray, big brother to the ungrateful dead.”
Pam Dawber - Helen Knable
John Ritter - Roy Knable
Eugene Levy - Crowley

“Better on TV than on the streets.”

James Woods - Max Renn

“- Vada Sultenfuss: I want to be a writer. I want to be just like you.
- Alfred Beidermeyer: Hmph. Me? My dear, this is not a country that rewards poetry. This is a country that rewards gas mileage. Besides, people don't read poetry anymore; they watch television.”
Anna Chlumsky - Vada Sultenfuss
Aubrey Morris - Alfred Beidermeyer

“The power of television, of public exposure, it scares me. I swear, I could get the mayor's own children to throw rocks at him!”
Dom DeLuise - Melvin

“We have currently a built-in allergy to unpleasant or disturbing information. Our mass media reflect this. But unless we get up off our fat surpluses and recognize that television in the main is being used to distract, delude, amuse, and insulate us, then television and those who finance it, those who look at it, and those who work at it, may...” (continue)(continue reading)
David Strathairn - Edward R. Murrow

“- Vada Sultenfuss: California. I'm going to Hollywood to live with the Brady Bunch.
- Thomas J. Sennet: I wanna live with them too.
- Vada Sultenfuss: No, you can't. They have enough kids. You'll have to live with the Partridge Family.
- Thomas J. Sennet: Really?!”
Anna Chlumsky - Vada Sultenfuss
Macaulay Culkin - Thomas J. Sennett

“- Candy: I want more than just sex.
- David: That's why God invented television.”
Ruth Marshall - Candy
Thomas Gibson - David

“- Oliver Mauro: Did you actually pay money for that sofa?
- Lulu Bang: If you have a good sofa, you watch too much television.”
Mikael Colville-Andersen - Oliver Mauro
Laura Drasbæk - Lulu Bang

“Mr. Collins, I hope you've taken down that old TV antenna. I ripped my pants on it last year.”

Richard Attenborough - Kris Kringle

“Free cable is the ultimate aphrodisiac.”
Jim Carrey - The Cable Guy

“- Major Clark: So, what did you think of 1984?
- David Herdeg: Television was great.
- Major Clark: You didn't see enough of it.”
Kene Holiday - Major Clark
Michael Paré - David Herdeg

- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: What's the story of Sodom and Gomorrah really about? Anyone? Steve Posner.
- Steve Posner: Sexual perversion.
- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Sexual perversion. Steve Posner's watching too much Spice Channel!
Ben Stiller - Rabbi Jake Schram
David Wain - Steve Posner

“The media wants to turn it into fear. There's floods, there's AIDS, there's murder, cut to commercial, buy the Acura, buy the Colgate, if you have bad breath they're not going to talk to you, if you have pimples, the girl's not going to fuck you, and it's just this campaign of fear, and consumption, and that's what I think it's all based on, the...” (continue)(continue reading)
Marilyn Manson - Himself

“This is television, that's all it is. It has nothing to do with people, it's to do with ratings! For fifty years, we've told them what to eat, what to drink, what to wear... for Christ's sake, Ben, don't you understand? Americans love television.”
Richard Dawson - Damon Killian

“- Maria: Can you stop watching TV for a minute?
- Matthew: No.
- Maria: Why?
- Matthew: Because I had a bad day at work. I had to subvert my principles and kow-tow to an idiot. Television makes these daily sacrifices possible. Deadens the inner core of my being.”
Adrienne Shelly - Maria Coughlin
Martin Donovan - Matthew Slaughter

Two brothers... One speaks no English, the other learned English from watching "The Wide World of Sports." So you tell me... which is better, speaking no English at all, or speaking Howard Cosell?
John Cusack - Lane Myer