Ugliness quotes

“- Stacy Lockwood: Hey, Monica, forget your broom?
- Monica: I don't need a broom to fly away from you, you bitch.”
Tori Spelling - Stacy Lockwood
Kathryn Morris - Monica Whitley

“- Stef: You know, your voice is kind of nice when your mouth isn't screwing it up.
- Mouth: Yeah and you looks are kind of pretty. When your face isn't screwing it up.”
Martha Plimpton - Stef
Corey Feldman - Mouth

“But the worst thing is: that Me, Fatty, Sideburns Lady, and the mutants over at Table 9, will never ever find a way to better the situation, because apparently we have nothing to offer to the opposite sex.”

Adam Sandler - Robbie Hart

“- Cher: She's a full-on Monet.
- Tai: What's a 'monet'?
- Cher: It's like a painting, see? From far away, it's ok, but up close, it's a big old mess. Let's ask a guy. Christian, what do you think of Amber?
- Christian: Hagsville.
- Cher: See?”
Alicia Silverstone - Cher
Brittany Murphy - Tai
Justin Walker - Christian

“- Carter: You just jealous, Lee, 'cause women like me. I'm tall, dark and hansome and you third world ugly.
- Lee: I am not third world ugly, women think I'm cute. Like Snoopy.
- Carter: Lee, Snoopy is 6 inches taller than you.”
Chris Tucker - Carter
Jackie Chan - Lee

“It doesn't matter how young or old you are, you sold your soul! You're the ugliest thing that ever lived, and you know it!”

Thora Birch - Dani

“- Bodyguard: Did ya get the license number?
- Rocky: Of what?
- Bodyguard: The truck that run over your face.”
Joe Sorbello - Bodyguard
Sylvester Stallone - Rocky Balboa

“- Lady Fuchsia: You're so ugly.
- Steerpike: That doesn't matter anymore, does it? I will make you my queen. I will give you everything you need.”
Neve McIntosh - Lady Fuchsia
Jonathan Rhys-Meyers - Steerpike

“- Beowulf: How big was it? What kind of armour? Was it sheilded? Was it exposed?
- Will: It was... it was ugly, man.”
Christopher Lambert - Beowulf
Brent Jefferson Lowe - Will

“- Mauricio: Who's Vicki?
- Hal: Vicki. Vicki, with the short brown hair.
- Mauricio: Vicki? I thought that was a guy! I was calling her Vic!”
Jason Alexander - Mauricio
Jack Black - Hal

“That face is almost as ugly as yours, Rugs. He's too ugly to be champ!”

Billy Crystal - Joey Gongolong

“A ugly person who goes after a pretty person gets nothing but trouble. But a pretty person who goes after a ugly person gets at least cab fare.”
Harvey Forbes Fierstein - Arnold Beckoff

“- Jenny Summers: I remember you used to drive that crappy blue Chevy Nova.
[they both chuckle]
- Jenny Summers: What are you driving now?
- Axel Foley: Same crappy blue Chevy Nova.”
Lisa Eilbacher - Jenny Summers
Eddie Murphy - Axel Foley

“You know Mr. Gorbachev, the guy that ran Russia for so long? I am a firm believer that he would still be in power today if he had had that ugly purple thing taken off his head.”
Nicole Kidman - Suzanne Stone

“- Brigitta: I think your dress is the ugliest one I ever saw!
- Kurt: Brigitta, you shouldn't say that!
- Brigitta: Why not? Don't you think it's ugly?
- Kurt: Of course, but Fraulein Helga's was ugliest.”
Angela Cartwright - Brigitta
Duane Chase - Kurt

“- Rasputin: Bartok, get me a comb, find some cologne. I want to look my best!
- Bartok: That might take some work, sir.”
Chris Lloyd - Rasputin
Hank Azaria - Bartok

“Natalie! I was wondering, if you were driving 55 miles per hour and you collided with a runaway train, would it make any improvement on your face?”
Corey Feldman - Dean

“- Pantucci: I think she broke my nose!
- Trillian St. James: Give me a chance and I'll break the rest of your face. Not that anyone would notice.”

Kevin J. O'Connor - Joey Pantucci
Famke Janssen - Trillian St. James

“Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh?
[looks at Judge Smails, who's wearing the same hat]
Oh, it looks good on you though.”
Rodney Dangerfield - Al Czervik

“Jimmy the Goose, larger than life and twice as ugly!”
Steve Bisley - Jim Goose

“- Adam: You know what they say - Chick's got a veil, dude better bail.
- Johnny: If she covers her face, pick up the pace.
- Iggy: She's afraid to show it. She's... probably not very attractive.”
Nicolas Cowan - Adam
Ernie Reyes Jr. - Johnny
Rob Schneider - Iggy

“- District Manager Zete: Does all of Earth look like this?
- Terl: Oh, I'm afraid so, sir.
- District Manager Zete: Pathetic. All the green and the blue sky. They told me this planet was ugly, but this has got to be one of the ugliest crap holes in the entire universe.”
Michael MacRae - District Manager Zete
John Travolta - Terl

“- J.J. McClure: I need a girl.
- Victor Prinzim: Yeah, me too.
- J.J. McClure: You?
- Victor Prinzim: Sure. Hey, J.J., I'm not a eunuch, you know.
- J.J. McClure: Of course you're not a eunuch. Don't put yourself down like that. You have a striking resemblance to a eunuch but... just kidding.”
Burt Reynolds - J.J. McClure
Dom DeLuise - Victor Prinzim

“- Michael Colin Gallagher: Why aren't you married?
- Megan Carter: How do you know I'm not?
- Michael Colin Gallagher: I don't see a ring.
- Megan Carter: Haven't you heard of women's lib?
- Michael Colin Gallagher: Most of them are ugly.
- Megan Carter: Is that supposed to be a compliment?”
Paul Newman - Gallagher
Sally Field - Megan

“You look like the back end of a moose.”
Russell Crowe - John Biebe