Wife quotes

“- Don Luis Quintero: My wife, senor.
- Diego: Your Excellency is a very fortunate man.
- Don Luis Quintero: I'm not so sure. She thinks pesos grow on mulberry trees.”

J. Edward Bromberg - Don Luis Quintero
Tyrone Power - Diego

“- Samuel Peacock: Savages!
- Chris: That's my wife, Yakima... my squaw.
- Samuel Peacock: Yes, but she's... she's... savage!
- Chris: Si señor, she's a little bit savage, I think.”
Donald Meek - Samuel Peacock
Chris-Pin Martin - Chris

“What do the wives do, these useless women? You see them in the hotels, the best hotels, every day by the thousands, drinking the money, eating the money, losing the money at bridge, playing all day and all night, smelling of money, proud of their jewelry but of nothing else, horrible, faded, fat, greedy women.”
Joseph Cotten - Charlie Oakley

“Man, if my fuckin' ex-wife asked me to take care of her fuckin' dog while she and her boyfriend went to Honolulu I'd tell her to go fuck herself.”

Jeff Bridges - The Dude

“- Beryl Thibodeaux: Do you investigate many sexual crimes?
- Wes Block: Why?
- Beryl Thibodeaux: I was wondering if they've had any... effect on you.
- Wes Block: Well, they did make me want to treat my wife a little more tenderly.
- Beryl Thibodeaux: How did she respond?
- Wes Block: She said she wasn't interested in tenderness.”
Geneviève Bujold - Beryl Thibodeaux
Clint Eastwood - Wes Block

“Ther’s just certain things a man wants from his wife, like to be here when he gets home, to cook a meal once in a while, clean up, and make good love too.”
John Travolta - Bud

“- Doug Madsen: Well, what has your wife ever made us?
- Bobby Davis: Hard.”
Tim Allen - Doug Madsen
Martin Lawrence - Bobby Davis

“- Jack Faulkner: Are we breaking up?
- Suzanne Vale: We can't break up, we were never together.
- Jack Faulkner: Oh, that should come as news to you, you're acting like a wife.”
Dennis Quaid - Jack Faulkner
Meryl Streep - Suzanne Vale

“- Ron: Of course that bitch of an ex-wife is working for the library now. That is perfect! The worst person in the world working at the worst place in the world.
- Leslie: I have to go talk to her and you need to give me something I can use. Does she have any weaknesses?
- Ron: No.
- Leslie: What do you mean no? Everybody has a weakness.
- Ron:...” (continue)(continue reading)

Nick Offerman - Ron Swanson
Amy Poehler - Leslie Knope

“I had to live with that squealing, corpulent little toad all these years. God, I hate that woman. I hate the way she licks stamps! I hate her furniture! And I hate that little sound she makes when she sleeps.”

Danny DeVito - Sam Stone

“- William Wallace: [seeing the spirit of his wife] I'm dreaming.
- Murron: Yes, you are. And you must wake.
- William Wallace: I don't want to wake. I want to stay here with you.”
Mel Gibson - William Wallace
Catherine McCormack - Murron

“There's only one woman's words that should affect the mood of my husband. Those are mine.”
Lena Headey - Queen Gorgo

“We should remember, marriage is marriage and Ellen is still a wife.”
Miriam Margolyes - Mrs. Mingott

“He called me a baboon, he thinks I'm his wife.”
Rodney Dangerfield - Al Czervik

“- Bradley, Physical Therapist: My brother was married. One day he came home, found out she was cheating.
- Henry Turner: Cheating?
- Bradley, Physical Therapist: Doin' the serious with another man.”
Bill Nunn - Bradley, Physical Therapist
Harrison Ford - Henry Turner

“- Dr. Ben Sobel: What happened with your wife last night?
- Paul Vitti: I wasn't with my wife, I was with my girlfriend.
- Dr. Ben Sobel: Are you having marriage problems?
- Paul Vitti: No.”
Billy Crystal - Dr. Ben Sobel
Robert De Niro - Paul Vitti

“Why don't you just lick 'em when they walk by?”

Lusia Strus - Sheila

“There's nothing like a good dose of being left alone to make a man appreciate his wife.”
Lucile Watson - Mrs. Morehead

“- Carol: Aren't you scared?
- Sam Stone: Scared? Hell, no. I'm looking forward to it. My only regret, Carol, is that the plan isn't more violent.”

Anita Morris - Carol
Danny DeVito - Sam Stone

- Jeff: Give me the key.
- Red: Mister...
- Jeff: Don't "mister" me, you son of a bitch. My wife is locked up in a hole in your fucking barn, and if you don't give me the key, I'm gonna blow your fucking head off!
Kurt Russell - Jeff Taylor
J. T. Walsh - Red Barr

“Like my ex-wife. Anything I say, she does the opposite.”
Brad Dourif - Al Bert

“- Leslie Glass: I can't believe Roberta's a prostitute.
- Gary Glass: Roberta's not a prostitute.
- Leslie Glass: I saw this thing on television about this woman who turned tricks in the city from nine until noon, then went shopping all afternoon. It was years before her husband found out about it. Oh, my God, I've heard that four out of five...” (continue)(continue reading)
Laurie Metcalf - Leslie Glass
Mark Blum - Gary Glass

“- Sultan: You should be, Jasmine. I have chosen a husband for you.
- Princess Jasmine: What?
- Sultan: You will wed Jafar.
- Jafar: You're speechless, I see. A fine quality in a wife.”
Douglas Seale - Sultan
Linda Larkin - Princess Jasmine
Jonathan Freeman - Jafar

“- Roger Murtaugh (Lethal Weapon): Hey, Riggs, you really like my wife's cookin'?
- Martin Riggs (Lethal Weapon): Nope, I'll see you tomorrow.”
Danny Glover - Roger Murtaugh
Mel Gibson - Martin Riggs

“- Owen: Your wife, she had a little trouble walking, but that was from the gardener.
- Larry: You saw my wife?
- Owen: She was kind of a tart, Larry. Although I can see why you married her. She was very beautiful.”
Danny DeVito - Owen
Billy Crystal - Larry