Wife quotes

“I wanted to celebrate gettin' this job. I had the flowers, I had the champagne. I went into the kitchen. She was cookin' pasta. I wanted to kiss her. She turned around and before I knew it, there was a pot of boiling water all over my leg. And I don't know if it was the dog barkin', I don't know if it was Emma cryin', but I slapped her. I hit my...” (continue)(continue reading)
Peter Mullan - Gordon Fleming

“- Ernest Menville: Where did you put my wife?
- Second Doctor: She's dead, sir. They took her to the morgue.
- Ernest Menville: The morgue? She'll be furious!”
Bruce Willis - Ernest Menville
Susan Kellermann - Second Doctor

“Danny is working on his next ex-wife.”
Gregory Hines - Ray Hughes

“My only regret is that I have but one wife to give to my country.”
Robert Charles Benchley - Mr. Osborne

“My wife is going off the deep end. A short trip for her.”
George Dzundza - Leo Lemke

- Bill "BB" Babowsky: This is the ultimate "fuck you"! I just poked your wife!
- Ernest Tilley: What are you talking about?
- Bill "BB" Babowsky: Yeah, she's in my bed right now with a very big smile on her face.
- Ernest Tilley: Well, that's just fine by me. She's a pain in the ass! An albatross around my neck! You're welcome to her. Keep her,... (continue)(continue reading)
Richard Stephen Dreyfuss - Bill "BB" Babowsky
Danny DeVito - Ernest Tilley

“- Walter Burns: You persuade Hildy to do the story and you can write out a nice fat insurance policy for me.
- Bruce Baldwin: I refuse to use my wife for business purposes.”
Cary Grant - Walter Burns
Ralph Bellamy - Bruce Baldwin

“When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.”
Sacha Guitry

“- Chief Henry Benton: I like to hear a woman make a lot of sound.
- Hooker in Car: Yeah? Well, I'll scream my head off if you want to, honey. It's your money.
- Chief Henry Benton: Yeah, my wife just lays there like a gunny sack!”
William G. Schilling - Police Commissioner
Jeannine Bisignano - Hooker in Car

“He's got you on a pedestal and me in his arms.”
Cameron Diaz - Kimberly Wallace

“Mr. Gilbert, I am a respectably married man and I love my wife dearly. Now, one of the few pleasures that she has enjoyed since the untimely demise of my beloved mother-in-law is to watch me perform upon the stage. But, I am not prepared to allow her to suffer the embarrassment of seeing me flaunted before the public like a half-dressed,...” (continue)(continue reading)

Kevin McKidd - Durward Lely

- Terrance Paul Davidson: Hey, is this your wife? Damn! I see why you were upset! Not bad Nick, not bad, Nick! You know, for a cheatin' bitch.
- Nick Beam: Hey! Don't you call her that, you don't know her, don't say that.
- Terrance Paul Davidson: Okay, okay, no disrespect. What should I call her? "Monogamously challenged"?
Martin Lawrence - Terrance Paul Davidson
Tim Robbins - Nick Beam

“I'll tell you one thing that happens when you get married, you have to give up your old friends. Cause the wife wants you to get new friends. New friends - nope. It's you and me. You and me, buddy, we got secrets she'll never know. Never know. Those new friends will never be as good. Nope! Cause we've - we've got a history. History!”
Steve Guttenberg - Edward 'Eddie' Simmons

“That was your wife? What a bitch!”

Rachel Ticotin - Melina

“- Tess Harding: I'm going to be your wife. You don't think that I can do the little ordinary things that any idiot can do, do you?
- Sam Craig: No.
- Tess Harding: Why not?
- Sam Craig: Because you're incapable of doing them, that's why.”
Katharine Hepburn - Tess Harding
Spencer Tracy - Sam Craig

“Mr. Chandos was a man who spent more time with his gardener than his wife.”
Neil Cunningham - Mr Noyes

“I gotta get home for dinner. My wife is slowly poisoning me to death and she gets very angry if I'm late.”
David Paymer - Morty

“- Leo Newbigen: [Nude in the sauna with Anya] Harry hey, what do you think, huh? Isn't she something?
- Harry Palmer: Yeah, she's great. How's the wife and kids, Leo?”
Karl Malden - Leo Newbigen
Sir Michael Caine - Harry Palmer

“- Joey: Do you believe this man asking whether my Theresa would fool around?
- Buddy: I find it hard to imagine your wife sleeping with you.”
Joseph Bologna - Joey
Charles Grodin - Buddy

“I love my wife, but it's like living with a plague of locusts.”
John Turturro - Herbie Stempel

“- Jeff Dunham: Do you believe in reincarnation?
- Walter: Hell, I don't know.
- Jeff Dunham: Well, if it happens, who would you come back as and what would you do?
- Walter: I would come back as my wife and leave me the hell alone!”
Jeff Dunham - Himself
Jeff Dunham - Walter

“Sixteen years of marriage and my wife still won't eat Chinese food. It's crazy, especially since we met in a Chinese restaurant.”
Jack Warden - Judge Francis Rayford

“- Henry Miller: She is my fucking wife.
- Anaïs Nin: You don't understand your own fucking wife.”

Fred Ward - Henry Miller
Maria de Medeiros - Anaïs Nin

"She's got the three things that really matter in a wife" everyone said, "Breeding, brains and beauty". And I believed them - completely. But I never had a moment of happiness with her.

Laurence Olivier - "Maxim" de Winter

- Jack "Rudy" Rudisill: Santee was fucking your wife Esther.
- Lt. Franklin L. Severence: Many times, Rudy. Many times.
- Jack "Rudy" Rudisill: There's just something wrong with that. A friend is someone who doesn't fuck your wife.
- Lt. Franklin L. Severence: I never said Santee was a friend. I said he was like a son to me.
- Jack "Rudy"... (continue)(continue reading)
Beau Starr - Jack "Rudy" Rudisill
George Segal - Lt. Franklin L. Severence