Adam Sandler movie quotes

“- Barry Egan: I'm lookin' at your face and I just wanna smash it. I just wanna fuckin' smash it with a sledgehammer and squeeze it. You're so pretty.
- Lena Leonard: I want to chew your face, and I want to scoop out your eyes and I want to eat them and chew them and suck on them.
- Barry Egan: OK. This is funny. This is nice.”
Adam Sandler - Barry Egan
Emily Watson - Lena Leonard

- Veronica Vaughn: We're going to start today by reading together a short story entitled "My Sister Fanny".
[the class laughs]
- Veronica Vaughn: Quiet. So let's all open our "Reading Is Fun" books to page sixty nine.
- Billy Madison: Sixty nine!
[laughs]
Bridgette Wilson-Sampras - Veronica Vaughn
Adam Sandler - Billy Madison

“I was supposed to have a baby with my ex-wife. And the doctor who was helping us make the baby did help us make the baby but unfortunately I wasn't in the room.”
Adam Sandler - Brenner

“- Lucy Whitmore: What are you doing?
- Henry Roth: Nothing, I was just getting some lint off for you...
- Lucy Whitmore: You were going for a feelski!
- Henry Roth: Alright, I'm sorry... But this is like the 23rd time we've made out already and... they're getting blue!”
Henry Roth - Lucy Whitmore
Adam Sandler - Henry Roth

“- Lauren: You know, I'm curious. With so many possible reasons, which one's the one your wife left you for?
- Jim: Cancer.
- Lauren: I'm sorry. I naturally just assumed you were divorced.
- Jim: It's okay. I naturally assumed your husband shot himself, so we're even.”
Drew Barrymore - Lauren
Adam Sandler - Jim

“- Davey: Hey, Jelly Jugs, next time you're on my court, you better wear a bra, okay?
- Whitey: He was just kidding son, you got very nice boobs.”
Adam Sandler - Davey
Adam Sandler - Whitey

“- Jill Sadelstein: Why are you so afraid to admit that we are connected? Face it. We shared Mom's womb. We were womb-mates.
- Jack Sadelstein: Oh, that is just disgusting.”
Adam Sandler - Jill Sadelstein
Adam Sandler - Jack Sadelstein

“- Mike: I am still weirded out seeing them kiss.
- Sonny Koufax: Why? They're gay. That's what gay guys do.
- Mike: Yeah, but they were like brothers to us in school.
- Sonny Koufax: They're still our brothers. Our very gay brothers.”
Jonathan Loughran - Mike
Adam Sandler - Sonny Koufax

“- Ramon: My mother's Swedish.
- Tommy: I don't think so. I reckon she's Mexican.
- Ramon: Lying bitch.”
Rob Schneider - Ramon
Adam Sandler - Tommy

“- Mfana: Mr. Bellyflopolis, the crocodiles are fake!
- Jim: Why would you make them look so realistic?
- Mfana: Well, to scare the baboons away.
- Jim: You just scared a zebra stripe into my underwear!”
Abdoulaye NGom - Mfana
Adam Sandler - Jim

“Gay guys know how to dance good. It's like the law or some shit.”
Adam Sandler - Chuck Levine

“[catches the ball one-handed]
Now you're all in big, big trouble.”

Adam Sandler - Billy Madison

“- Julian 'Frankenstien' McGrath: How come you're not going?
- Sonny Koufax: Because I don't have to go. Only you and my grandfather go every thirty seconds.”

Dylan Sprouse - Julian 'Frankenstien' McGrath
Adam Sandler - Sonny Koufax

“- Robbie Hart: Who'd like to dance with this lovely young lady?
- Grandpa at Bar Mitzvah: I'd like to do more than dance with her!”

Adam Sandler - Robbie Hart
Al Hopson - Grandpa at Bar Mitzvah

“With the amount of money I have, it's difficult raising children the way I was raised.”
Adam Sandler

“I shouldn't be near Vegas and have money in my pocket.”
Adam Sandler

“- Moses: See that, your head hurts 'cus you feel guilty.
- Keats: My head hurts 'cus you shot me in it!”
Adam Sandler - Moses
Damon Wayans - Keats

“- Crazy Eyes: He was tryin' to cast some spell on me like a wizard or somethin'.
- Longfellow Deeds: You sure about that?
- Crazy Eyes: On second thought maybe he was just wavin'.”
Steve Buscemi - Crazy Eyes
Adam Sandler - Longfellow Deeds

“- Jill Sadelstein: [after breaking his Oscar] Oh, my God! I'm so sorry! I am sure you have others, though.
- Al Pacino: Uh, you'd think it, but, uh, oddly enough, I don't.”
Adam Sandler - Jill Sadelstein
Al Pacino - Al Pacino

“- Dink the Clown: I asked her what time it was, she told me it was 7:30.
- Stenchy the Clown: That's the cornerstone of a lasting relationship, what time it is?
- Dink the Clown: Yes, yes. Because, first I asked her what time it is, right? Tomorrow I get to ask her the date, the day after that she's all over me. That's how it works, you play it...” (continue)(continue reading)
Adam Sandler - Dink the Clown
Blake Clark - Stenchy the Clown

“- Bus Driver: That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ace, I know from experience dude. If you know what I mean.
- Billy Madison: No, you don't.
- Bus Driver: Well, not me personally but a guy I know. Him and her got it on. Wooo-eee!
- Billy Madison: No, they didn't.”
Chris Farley - Bus Driver
Adam Sandler - Billy Madison

“I don't know anything about plants except that you make cakes out of them!”

Adam Sandler - Skeeter Bronson

“- Donna Newman: That's not bad for your third liposuction. One more tummy tuck should take care of it.
- Michael Newman: Oh, it looks like a tongue... licking.”
Kate Beckinsale - Donna Newman
Adam Sandler - Michael Newman

“I have a love in my life. It makes me stronger than anything you can imagine.”
Adam Sandler - Barry Egan

“- Eleanor: You know, I read recently in Reader's Digest that people who let themselves cry when they're hurting are often stronger than the people who try to hold all their pain inside.
- Davey: Did you read anything about a deformed referee who spends 35 years trying to win some stupid patch, so he can pretend people actually like him?
-...” (continue)(continue reading)
Adam Sandler - Eleanore
Adam Sandler - Davey