Adam Sandler movie quotes

“Dented cans are half-price. Microsoft went down 3 points. We gotta save some money.”

Adam Sandler - Sonny Koufax

“- Alex McDonough: You know, Larry's heavyset. Is that the kind of guy you've always been attracted to?
- Chuck Levine: Ah no, he's my first fattie.
- Alex McDonough: You guys really seem like you have a lot of sexual chemistry.
- Chuck Levine: I float his boat and he sinks mine.”
Jessica Biel - Alex McDonough
Adam Sandler - Chuck Levine

“- Shareholder: I wanted to be veterinarian.
- Longfellow Deeds: Cool. Why did you want to do that?
- Shareholder: I wanted to help sick animals.
- Longfellow Deeds: And what do you do now?
- Shareholder: I own a chain of slaughterhouses.”
Dion Anderson - Shareholder
Adam Sandler - Longfellow Deeds

“- Deborah Clasky: How are you nicer than me?
- John Clasky: You didn't set the bar that high.”
Téa Leoni - Deborah Clasky
Adam Sandler - John Clasky

“- Whitey: Wow Benjamin, an etch-a-sketch, not too shabby!
- Davey: That's a Gameboy, you idiot.
- Whitey: Oh sorry I'm not up on modern technology.”
Adam Sandler - Whitey
Adam Sandler - Davey

- Skeeter Bronson: Why do you call him "Bugsy?".
- Patrick: Because of his eyes.
- Skeeter Bronson: Well let's see his eyes. [sees Bugsy's huge eyes and screams] Wow! Those eyes would be big on a cow!

Adam Sandler - Skeeter Bronson
Jonathan Morgan Heit - Patrick

“- Michael Newman: Thank you, Mom for having me, I know it was a lot of pain.
- Trudy Newman: You have no idea.”
Adam Sandler - Michael Newman
Julie Kavner - Trudy Newman

“- Wendy: Don't talk to them about school.
- Skeeter Bronson: Why not?
- Wendy: They're closing it down. I'm getting laid off.
- Skeeter Bronson: No way! You? But you're like the classic school principle! I mean you're scary and bad with people...”
Courteney Cox - Wendy
Adam Sandler - Skeeter Bronson

“- Frank: Who would you rather bone, Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?
- Billy Madison: Jack Nicholson now, or 1974?
- Frank: '74.
- Billy Madison: Meg Ryan.”
Norm MacDonald - Frank
Adam Sandler - Billy Madison

“We needed to be here. Our kids were turning into snotty, spoiled, little. This is what we needed.”
Adam Sandler - Lenny Feder

“- Longfellow Deeds: So how is the elevator business treating you, Reuben?
- Reuben: Oh, it has its ups and downs.”
Adam Sandler - Longfellow Deeds
J.B. Smoove - Reuben

“- Julia Sullivan: I puked.
- Robbie Hart: Okay. Don't worry.
- Julia Sullivan: I vomited in my hair.
- Robbie Hart: All right.
- Julia Sullivan: Does my hair smell bad?
[Robbie smells her hair]
- Robbie Hart: No, it smells good, actually.”
Drew Barrymore - Julia Sullivan
Adam Sandler - Robbie Hart

“There are no happy endings in real life.”
Adam Sandler - Skeeter Bronson

“- Mickey: Look's like Bugsy's eaten a lot of burgers in the last ten minutes.
- Skeeter Bronson: Wow!
- Mickey: He keeps going like that, we could make bacon out of Bugsy.
[Bugsy looks at them]
- Skeeter Bronson: He's kidding, Bugsy. Take it easy.”

Russell Brand - Mickey
Adam Sandler - Skeeter Bronson

“- Skeeter Bronson: Mind showing me your finest horse?
- Chief Running Mouth: My ancestors believed horse spirit come down from mountain, during time of fire, wind. Many brave warrior walk trail of moon bear...
- Skeeter Bronson: Yeah I just wanna see the horse; I don't need all this.”
Adam Sandler - Skeeter Bronson
Rob Schneider - Chief Running Mouth

“- Dr. Buddy Rydell: Now then we need to go over some ground rules. You are to refrain from any any acts of violence including verbal assault and vulgar hand gestures. You may not use rage enhancing substances, such as caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, crack cocaine, slippy-flippy's, jelly stingers, trick sticks, bing bangs or flying willards.
- Dave...” (continue)(continue reading)
Jack Nicholson - Dr. Buddy Rydell
Adam Sandler - Dave Buznik

“- Asian Minister: Civil or religious?
- Chuck Levine: Religious. I'm Jewish, I don't wanna piss my mother off.
- Larry Valentine: I'm Catholic, I don't wanna piss Mel Gibson off.”
Rob Schneider - Asian Minster
Adam Sandler - Chuck Levine
Kevin James - Larrie Valentine

“That little boy's gotta think 'you got a pet. You got a responsibility'. If your dog gets lost you don't look for an hour then call it quits. You get your ass out there and you find that fucking dog.”
Adam Sandler - Billy Madison

- Larry Valentine: Domestic partnership.
- Chuck Levine: Domestic partnership? You mean like faggots?
- Larry Valentine: No, I mean yeah but, no, not us. Obviously. Just on paper.
- Chuck Levine: Paper faggots?
- Larry Valentine: Well, the accepted vernacular is "gay"... but yes.
Kevin James - Larrie Valentine
Adam Sandler - Chuck Levine

“- Dr. Buddy Rydell: In Europe, it's not considered unusual for three of four men to share a bed.
- Dave Buznik: That's why I'm proud to be an American.”
Jack Nicholson - Dr. Buddy Rydell
Adam Sandler - Dave Buznik

“- Mayor: Whitey, for the first time your partner Davey Stone did something good for this community.
- Eleanore: What'd he do? Steal beer for everyone?”
Kevin Nealon - Mayor
Adam Sandler - Eleanore

“- Kid: Mortal Kombat, on Sega Genesis, is the best video game ever.
- Billy Madison: I disagree, it's a very good game, but I think Donkey Kong is the best game ever.
- Kid: Donkey Kong sucks.
- Billy Madison: You know something? You suck!”
Adam Sandler - Billy Madison

“- Chief of Police: This videotape will show what he did after he left the game.
- Nicky: [on the news videotape which is actually 'Scarface'] Say hello to my little friend! My name is Nicky, and I'm gonna kill all you fuckers for no reason!
- Nicky: That's not me; that's the cock-a-roach Tony Montana!
- Chief of Police: It's difficult to watch,...” (continue)(continue reading)
Michael McKean - Chief of Police
Adam Sandler - Nicky

“I guess when you combine mass quantities of cough syrup with yodels... you get acid.”
Adam Sandler - Michael Newman

“I didn't ask for a shrink - that must've been somebody else. Also, that pudding isn't mine. Also, I'm wearing this suit today because I had a very important meeting this morning and I don't have a crying problem.”
Adam Sandler - Barry Egan