Adam Sandler movie quotes

“- Eleanore: You were in a coma for three months.
- Whitey: I needed the rest, anyway!”
Adam Sandler - Eleanore
Adam Sandler - Whitey

“- Robert 'Bobby' Boucher Jr.: Mama, Vicky is an astrologist.
- Helen 'Mama' Boucher: I don't believe in that sort of thing personally. Astrology is one of the many tools of the devil.”
Adam Sandler - Robert 'Bobby' Boucher Jr.
Kathy Bates - Helen 'Mama' Boucher

“- Robbie Hart: I don't even know your last name.
- Glenn Guglia: It's Guglia.
- Robbie Hart: Guglia? Oh, so Julia's last name's gonna be Guglia. Julia Guglia! That's funny!
- Glenn Guglia: Why is that funny?
- Robbie Hart: I... don't know.”
Adam Sandler - Robbie Hart
Allen Covert - Glenn Guglia
Matthew Glave - Glenn Guglia

“- Billy Madison: Well, I made the duck blue because I'd never seen a blue duck before and I wanted to see one.
- Miss Lippy: Well, I think it's an excellent blue duck. Congratulations Billy, you just passed the first grade.”
Adam Sandler - Billy Madison
Dina Platias - Miss Lippy

“- Emilio Lopez: How can I thank you?
- Longfellow Deeds: All I want is your friendship, Emilio. You're a good man.
- Emilio Lopez: Deeds! How about a billion dollars?
- Longfellow Deeds: Alright.”
John Turturro - Emilio Lopez
Adam Sandler - Longfellow Deeds

“You don't know how much I need you. While you're near me, I don't feel blue and when we kiss I know you need me too. I can't believe I found a love that's so pure and true. But it all was bullshit. It was a goddamn joke and when I think of you, Linda, I hope you fucking choke. I hope you're glad with what you've done to me. I lay in bed all day...” (continue)(continue reading)

Adam Sandler - Robbie Hart

“- Sonny Koufax: I'm thinkin' about keepin' the kid.
- Phil D'Amato: Sonny, remember that time you went with me to the pet store to get fish food and you saw that cute little puppy and you wanted to get it, but then I reminded you about feeding it and cleaning it and toilet-training it?
- Sonny Koufax: Yeah...
- Phil D'Amato: Well, this is kinda...” (continue)(continue reading)

Adam Sandler - Sonny Koufax
Allen Covert - Phil D'Amato

“I don't like your God. Your God scares me.”
Adam Sandler - Moses

“Right now, I'm going to another restaurant record: longest burp.”
Adam Sandler - Davey

“- Sonny Koufax: Don't worry about me making money. I'm in love with a woman who makes plenty of it. She'll be my sugar mamma.
- Homeless Guy: I gotta get me one of those.”
Adam Sandler - Sonny Koufax
Steve Buscemi - Homeless Guy

“- Cop: Sir, have you had anything to drink today?
- Moses: I had about a half a beer, the dog had a lot.”

Adam Sandler - Moses

“- Robbie Hart: You hit two cones back there. Those could have been people... they could have been guests at her wedding!
- Sammy: They were cones!”

Adam Sandler - Robbie Hart
Allen Covert - Sammy

“- Employee: Sorry, sir, we stopped serving breakfast.
- Sonny Koufax: What are you talking about? We're four seconds late.
- Employee: No, you're 30 minutes and four seconds late. We stopped serving breakfast at 10:30.
- Sonny Koufax: Aw, horseshit!”
Samantha Brown - Employee
Adam Sandler - Sonny Koufax

“- Nicky: How can I win? Adrian is stronger and smarter than me.
- Holly: Stronger? yes, Smarter? definitely. But, you have something that he doesn't have.
- Nicky: A speech impediment?”
Adam Sandler - Nicky
Reese Witherspoon - Holly

- Lunch Lady: Have some more "Sloppy Joes". I made 'em extra sloppy for yous. I know how yous kids like 'em sloppy.
- Billy Madison: Lady, you're scaring us.
Joyce Gordon - Lunch Lady
Adam Sandler - Billy Madison

“- Julia Sullivan: Did you have any idea she wasn't the right one when you were together?
- Robbie Hart: I should have. Uh, I remember we went to the Grand Canyon one time. We were flying there and I'd never been there before and Linda had, so you would think that she would give me the window seat but she didn't and... not that that's a big deal,...” (continue)(continue reading)

Drew Barrymore - Julia Sullivan
Adam Sandler - Robbie Hart

“- Helen 'Mama' Boucher: Bobby, deh ever catch dat gorilla that busted outa da zoo and punched you in da eye?
- Robert 'Bobby' Boucher Jr.: No Mama, the search continues.”
Kathy Bates - Helen 'Mama' Boucher
Adam Sandler - Robert 'Bobby' Boucher Jr.

- Vanessa: He has a five year plan.
- Sonny Koufax: What is it? "Don't die"?

Kristy Swanson - Vanessa
Adam Sandler - Sonny Koufax

“- Sonny Koufax: Okay, what do you want?
- Julian 'Frankenstien' McGrath: Cheerios.
- Sonny Koufax: Cheerios? They don't got Cheerios. What else?
- Julian 'Frankenstien' McGrath: Lasagna.
- Sonny Koufax: Lasagna? What the hell is the matter with you? Um, we'll take hot cakes and sausage...”

Adam Sandler - Sonny Koufax
Dylan Sprouse - Julian 'Frankenstien' McGrath

“This is a '70s porno. You know how I can tell? Because the guy's dick has sideburns.”
Adam Sandler - Moses

“- Robbie Hart: How much is it?
- Flight Attendant: It's free.
- Robbie Hart: It's what? Holy shit, this is incredible. Actually, I shouldn't drink. I fell in love with this girl who's going to marry an idiot, so I'm on my way to Vegas to stop them.
- Female Passenger: That's the sweetest thing I have ever heard! Where are they getting married?
-...” (continue)(continue reading)
Adam Sandler - Robbie Hart

“- Billy Madison: I swear to God I'm sick. I can't go to school.
- Juanita: If you're gonna stay home today, you can help me shave my armpits.
- Billy Madison: Oh my God. I'll go to school.”
Adam Sandler - Billy Madison
Theresa Merritt - Juanita

“- Rosie: I'll be a beautiful young woman, and you be Robbie. Now, ask me out.
- Robbie Hart: You know, I'm really not comfortable...
- Rosie: Hello, sir. Was there something you wanted to ask me?
- Robbie Hart: Fine. Would you like to go out on a date with me?
- Rosie: No. Your penis is too small.”

Ellen Albertini Dow - Rosie
Adam Sandler - Robbie Hart

“- Moses: You wank off a lot?
- Chuck: What's a lot?
- Moses: You know, you got 5 minutes off, slip into one of the rooms, pull down your lil' panty's wack it.”
Adam Sandler - Moses