Adam Sandler movie quotes

“Having a kid is great... as long as his eyes are closed and he's not moving or speaking.”
Adam Sandler - Sonny Koufax

“- Davey: So, what's good about this place?
- Whitey: What's good about it? Everything. You want a pair of socks? My buddy, Mr. Foot Locker will warm your feet. You need a fancy doodad? Hello, Sharper Image. Thanks for the combination pogo stick/clock radio. I mean, The Body Shop, the Tie Rack, GNC, Radio Shack, Petland for a cat or two,...” (continue)(continue reading)
Adam Sandler - Davey
Adam Sandler - Whitey

“- Morty: Something stinks like stale French fries.
- Michael Newman: Oh yeah, that's probably me.
- Morty: You know, fast food shortens your life.”
Christopher Walken - Morty
Adam Sandler - Michael Newman

“- Shareholder: I wanted to be a magician!
- Longfellow Deeds: What do you do now?
- Shareholder: I operate a pornographic website.
- Longfellow Deeds: I guess that makes people happy too, in a much grosser way.”
Andy Kreiss - Shareholder
Adam Sandler - Longfellow Deeds

“My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.”
Adam Sandler - Robert 'Bobby' Boucher Jr.

“Being with you is the only way I could have a full and happy life. You're the girl of my dreams... and apparently, I'm the man of yours.”
Adam Sandler - Henry Roth

“- Mr. Simms: Do you have any experience?
- Robbie Hart: No, sir, I have no experience but I'm a big fan of money. I like it, I use it, I have a little. I keep it in a jar on top of my refrigerator. I'd like to put more in that jar. That's where you come in.”

Kevin Nealon - Mr. Simms
Adam Sandler - Robbie Hart

“- Longfellow Deeds: How you doin', pal? I got your pizza for you, just the way you like it.
- Crazy Eyes: Oh, yes. French Fries and Oreos, you know me all too well, Deeds.”
Adam Sandler - Longfellow Deeds
Steve Buscemi - Crazy Eyes

“- Robbie Hart: Are you drinking, too?
- Julia: No, it's Coca-Cola.
- Robbie Hart: Are you sure? There's no rum in that Coca-Cola?
- Julia: I'm not a big drinker. And if it was, I'd probably be puking more than that kid!
- Robbie Hart: Oh, I don't think anybody could puke more than that kid. I think I saw a boot come out of him.”
Adam Sandler - Robbie Hart
Drew Barrymore - Julia Sullivan

“I don't know if there is anything wrong because I don't know how other people are.”
Adam Sandler - Barry Egan

“- Dr. Buddy Rydell: Let's say hello to someone who's joining our quest to get the anger monkeys off our backs: Dave.
- Dave Buznik: Hi. Good news, I fed my anger monkey a banana this morning and he's feeling much better.”

Jack Nicholson - Dr. Buddy Rydell
Adam Sandler - Dave Buznik

“- Nicky: I was hit by this big light that was attached to a lot of metal.
- Lucifer: That was a train, son, don't stand in front of them.”
Adam Sandler - Nicky
Rodney Dangerfield - Lucifer

“What's the big deal? They're the same guys, they just watch a different kind of porno now.”
Adam Sandler - Sonny Koufax

“- Eleanor: They were giving out free lobster bibs in the bathroom.
- Whitey: That's not a lobster bib Eleanore, it's a germ protector for your tushey.”
Adam Sandler - Eleanore
Adam Sandler - Whitey

“- Coach Klein: Bobby, can you do that for me every game?
- Robert 'Bobby' Boucher Jr.: Coach, not only will I do it for you, I... I... I... yes, yes, I'll do it for you.”

Henry Winkler - Coach Klein
Adam Sandler - Robert 'Bobby' Boucher Jr.

“Hey, stay away from the frozen food section, Corinne! Your boobs'll harden.”
Adam Sandler - Sonny Koufax

“- Davey: Can I prance around with my morning erection?
- Whitey: If you do you'll want an automatic ejection cause that's a technical foul!
- Eleanor: But I would like to see it anyway!”
Adam Sandler - Davey
Adam Sandler - Whitey
Adam Sandler - Eleanore

- Corinne Maloney: What's this I hear about you doing laundry with my sister?
- Sonny Koufax: Did she say we were doing laundry? Because where I come from, it's called "doing the hibbidy-dibbidy".
Leslie Mann - Corinne Maloney
Adam Sandler - Sonny Koufax

“- John Clasky: It must be hard being a widow, doing it on your own.
- Flor: Why do you think I am a widow?
- John Clasky: I guess I thought... that would be the only way a guy would leave you.”
Adam Sandler - John Clasky
Paz Vega - Flor

“- Davey: I wonder if that guy ever wiped his ass with the wrong hand?
- Tom Baltezor: Yes.”
Adam Sandler - Davey
Jon Lovitz - Tom Baltezor

“- Madam Mambuza: Stop banging on those drums!
- Bongo Player: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you could hear that.”
Angie Stone - Madame Mambuza
Adam Sandler - Mambuza Bongo Guy

“But the worst thing is: that Me, Fatty, Sideburns Lady, and the mutants over at Table 9, will never ever find a way to better the situation, because apparently we have nothing to offer to the opposite sex.”

Adam Sandler - Robbie Hart

“All right, remember: alcohol equals puke, equals smelly mess, equals nobody likes you!”
Adam Sandler - Robbie Hart

“- Coretta Keeling, the Cat Lady: I'm not leaving without my kitties!
- Longfellow Deeds: How many do you got?
- Coretta Keeling, the Cat Lady: Seven.
- Longfellow Deeds: Holy shit. Let's get cracking.”

Aloma Wright - Coretta Keeling, the Cat Lady
Adam Sandler - Longfellow Deeds

“- Sonny Koufax: I got some interesting news.
- Lenny Koufax: Oh yeah, what?
- Sonny Koufax: I kind of adopted a kid.
- Lenny Koufax: What the hell are you talking about?
- Sonny Koufax: I'm talking about you being a grandfather! Congratulations!”
Adam Sandler - Sonny Koufax
Joseph Bologna - Lenny Koufax