Ben Stiller movie quotes

“- Leslie Breitbart: How's my daughter?
- Josh: How's she seem to you?
- Leslie Breitbart: Seems well.
- Josh: So why are you asking me?”
Charles Grodin - Leslie Breitbart
Ben Stiller - Josh

“- Geoff Mille: Meet the biggest supermodel in the whole world, he is All.
- Derek Zoolander: Are you like a male model or a female model?
- All: All is all.
- Hansel: Well I think he’s asking do you have a hotdog or a bun?”
Beck Bennett - Geoff Mille
Ben Stiller - Derek Zoolander
Owen Wilson - Hansel

“- Dina Byrnes: Now Greg, you have a very unique last name. Um, we were curious, how do you pronounce it?
- Greg Focker: Oh, just like it's spelled. F-O-C-K-E-R.
- Dina Byrnes: F-Focker.”
Blythe Danner - Dina Byrnes
Ben Stiller - Greg Focker

“You know, by the time we get back to New York, it'll be the middle of winter. So I was thinking, why rush? Maybe we could make a few sidestops along the way.”

Ben Stiller - Alex

“For the first time in my life I've stopped thinking of myself as a child imitating an adult.”
Ben Stiller - Josh

“- Derek Jr.: You're the most narcissistic person I've ever met.
- Derek Zoolander: But that's not how I see myself.”
Cyrus Arnold - Derek Jr.
Ben Stiller - Derek Zoolander

- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: There's a reason pandas don't mate in captivity.
- Anna Riley: What does that mean?
- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: It means these mothers keep making these dates for me that I can't refuse. They're very intimidating, they're like the Kosher Nostra. They're little women but very determined.
Ben Stiller - Rabbi Jake Schram
Jenna Elfman - Anna Riley

“My little filet mignon with a little fat around the edges. I like that. I like a little fat on my steak. My sweet, juicy steak. You are a rare delicacy.”

Ben Stiller - Alex

“- Dr. Nagato: You have arthritis in your knee.
- Josh: Arthritis arthritis?
- Dr. Nagato: Yes. I usually just say it once.”
James Saito - Dr. Nagato
Ben Stiller - Josh

They must have ripped the "Q" section out of my dictionary, 'cause I don't know the meaning of the word "quit".
Ben Stiller - Furious

“- Josh: If we're gonna do it, we should plan it with at least a month in advance.
- Cornelia: A month is still in the realm of spontaneity.”

Ben Stiller - Josh
Naomi Watts - Cornelia

“- Cornelia: I don't want this to be 'Every time you take a hallucinogen you want to have a baby'.
- Josh: Not every time.”

Naomi Watts - Cornelia
Ben Stiller - Josh

- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Jews want their rabbis to be the kind of Jews they don't have the time to be.
- Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Yeah, and Catholics want their priests to be the kind of Catholics they don't have the discipline to be.
Ben Stiller - Rabbi Jake Schram
Edward Norton - Father Brian Finn

Attention campers the topic for tonight's discussion is, "Liposuction: Option or Obsession".

Ben Stiller - Tony Perkis

“- Alex: Our friend just went a little crazy. Happens to everybody. The city gets to us all. Just went a little cuckoo in the head.
- Marty: Don't you be calling me cuckoo in the head!”
Ben Stiller - Alex
Chris Rock - Marty

- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: You want an example? I take her out to dinner, I order dessert, she says she doesn't want any, I get pecan pie. She asks me for a bite, I give her a bite, her face swells up like a chipmunk, she looks at me and says, "Oh, my God, are there nuts in this?"
- Ruth Schram: So what?
- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Mom! It... (continue)(continue reading)

Ben Stiller - Rabbi Jake Schram
Anne Bancroft - Ruth Schram

“He's not evil, he's just... young.”
Ben Stiller - Josh

“- Kate Veatch: White? What are you doing here? How do you know where I live?
- White Goodman: It's called the Freedom of Information Act, Kate. The hippies finally got something right! Ha ha! Just kidding. But not really.”
Christine Taylor - Kate Veatch
Ben Stiller - White Goodman

“- Dina Byrnes: I had no idea you could milk a cat!
- Greg Focker: Oh, you can milk just about anything with nipples.
- Jack Byrnes: I have nipples, Greg, could you milk me?”
Blythe Danner - Dina Byrnes
Ben Stiller - Greg Focker
Robert De Niro - Jack Byrnes

“Does being fat mean you're a terrible person?”
Ben Stiller - Derek Zoolander

“- Todd Maher: How does that Cinnabon taste?
- Walter Mitty: Great.
- Todd Maher: That's frosted heroin, what you're eating, my friend.”
Patton Oswalt - Todd Maher
Ben Stiller - Walter Mitty

“Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features doesn't mean that we still can't not die in a freak gasolinefight accident.”

Ben Stiller - Derek Zoolander

“- Kevin Rawley: I speak from the heart, off the cuff, like my man, JC at the Sermon on the Mount. I think that's what you've always admired about me.
- Greg Focker: Well, I got news for you. You're not Jesus.”
Owen Wilson - Kevin Rawley
Ben Stiller - Greg Focker

- Rachel Rose: You write all your own sermons, right?
- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Actually I download them off the net, there's this great site, www.hotgod.com.
Rena Sofer - Rachel Rose
Ben Stiller - Rabbi Jake Schram

“What do you want me to do? Flagellate myself? Jews don't do that, we plant trees.”
Ben Stiller - Rabbi Jake Schram