Ben Stiller movie quotes

“- Derek Zoolander: I just wanted to make you proud of me, pop.
- Larry Zoolander: How? With your male modeling? Prancing around in your underwear with your weiner hanging out for everyone to see?”
Ben Stiller - Derek Zoolander
Jon Voight - Larry Zoolander

- Larry Friedman: To be honest, we're less than thrilled.
- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Ok, with what specifically?
- Larry Friedman: With what specifically. Well, with guided meditation specifically, with stand up comedy sermons specifically, with your loose improvisational style specifically.
- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Ok, with people... (continue)(continue reading)

Ron Rifkin - Larry Friedman
Ben Stiller - Rabbi Jake Schram

“I love you. I'm in love with you. And I've been waiting my whole life for someone like you and I'm not gonna let you go. Please don't go. Anna, I'm not gonna let you go.”

Ben Stiller - Rabbi Jake Schram

“I'm sorry that good-looking people like us made you throw up and feel bad about yourself.”

Ben Stiller - Derek Zoolander

“- Alex: Marty, it looks like this is it! I just want you to know, you're a one in a million friend!
- Marty: Thanks, Alex! You are a true friend!
- Alex: And I'm sure you won't mind when I tell you...
- Marty: What? Tell me what?
- Alex: I broke your iPod!”
Ben Stiller - Alex
Chris Rock - Marty

“- Ted: I think I still want to look her up.
- Healy: Who, Rollerpig? Are you nuts?
- Ted: You said she was a real sparkplug.
- Healy: No, I said buttplug. She's heinous.”
Ben Stiller - Ted
Matt Dillon - Healy

- Tyra Banks: You have no real family, you're on the wrong side of 40, you're childless and alone. Somebody close to you said: "one more flop, and it's over".
- Tugg Speedman - Hot LZ: [pause] Somebody said they were close to me?
Tyra Banks - Tyra Banks
Ben Stiller - Tugg Speedman - Hot LZ

- Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: You told her about us?
- Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Yeah. She flipped, in a... in a good way. You know, I mean, she laughed for about ten minutes, but she was excited.

Ben Stiller - Rabbi Jake Schram
Edward Norton - Father Brian Finn

“Kids, at age 12, I weighed 319 pounds. I had bad skin, low self-esteem, and no self-respect. Now, I eat success for breakfast, with skim milk.”
Ben Stiller - Tony Perkis

“- David Starsky: I like your Lincoln.
- Huggy Bear: It's a '76. Won't be out 'til next year. But I know some people that know some people that robbed some people.”
Ben Stiller - David Starsky
Snoop Dogg - Huggy Bear

“- Dainty: What else you betting with Baise?
- Basie: My LIFE.”

Ben Stiller - Dainty
John Malkovich - Basie

“- Steve Arlo: Maybe you should stop snorting that shit.
- Daryl Zero: Keeps my teeth sharp.”
Ben Stiller - Steve Arlo
Bill Pullman - Daryl Zero

“- Nancy Kendricks: Alex is a writer.
- Mrs. Connelly: Oh, a writer. I always thought of that as more of a hobby than a real job. I suppose I'm forgetting about Joyce.
- Alex Rose: Joyce. James Joyce. Of course. Wonderful writer.
- Mrs. Connelly: He died drunk and penniless.”
Drew Barrymore - Nancy Kendricks
Eileen Essell - Mrs. Connelly
Ben Stiller - Alex Rose

“Here come the people, Marty! Oh, I love the people! It's fun people fun time!”
Ben Stiller - Alex

“- Tugg Speedman - Hot LZ: I killed one, Rick... the thing I love most in the world.
- Rick Peck - Peck's Office: A hooker. Oh Jesus, you killed a hooker!”

Ben Stiller - Tugg Speedman - Hot LZ
Matthew McConaughey - Rick Peck - Peck's Office

“- David Starsky: This is a Ford Grand Torino. It's not some crappy camper slash apartment. There are rules.
- Ken Hutchinson: Okay, okay.
- David Starsky: You do not bang on the hood. You never, under any circumstances, drive. And you will certainly not put your coffee mug on the roof of the car. In fact, no coffee in the car whatsoever. Coffee...” (continue)(continue reading)
Ben Stiller - David Starsky
Owen Wilson - Ken Hutchinson

“- Larry: What is your problem, huh? Why can't you just get along?
- Jedediah: Look, we're men. We fight, okay? That's what we do!
- Octavius: It's kinda how we pass the time.”
Ben Stiller - Larry Daley
Owen Wilson - Jedediah
Steve Coogan - Octavius

“- Alex Rose: You threw her down the stairs?
- Nancy Kendricks: No, but I imagined it and I liked it. I'm evil. I'm a horrible, horrible person.
- Alex Rose: No, she's practically ruined our lives. It's perfectly natural to have thoughts like that.”
Ben Stiller - Alex Rose
Drew Barrymore - Nancy Kendricks

“- Bwick Elias: Sometimes I feel things Lucy.
- Lucy Ackerman: What you feel, I treat.”
Ben Stiller - Bwick Elias
Sarah Jessica Parker - Lucy Ackerman

Did he just say "Grand Central Station", or "My aunt's constipation?".
Ben Stiller - Alex

“- Daryl Zero: What's wrong with these people?
- Steve Arlo: I told him, there's no use lying to you. Eventually, you always figure it out. It's just slowing things down.”

Bill Pullman - Daryl Zero
Ben Stiller - Steve Arlo

“- David Starsky: It's 10 o'clock, you're late, I've been here since 8.
- Ken Hutchinson: 8 o'clock? I didn't even know this place opened at 8.”
Ben Stiller - David Starsky
Owen Wilson - Ken Hutchinson

“- Gregory Stark: Is this your kid?
- Steve Arlo: Nope. Just a rental.”
Ryan O'Neal - Gregory Stark
Ben Stiller - Steve Arlo

“- Larry: Hey teeny, how does that sound?
- Jedediah: I... I don't like it. It hurts my feelings.
- Larry: Okay, well Gigantor makes me feel like some sort of freak.”
Ben Stiller - Larry Daley
Owen Wilson - Jedediah

“- Larry: I'm not a giant, guys, alright? You guys are really little.
- Octavius: We may be small but our hearts are large... metaphorically speaking.”
Ben Stiller - Larry Daley