Ben Stiller movie quotes

- Pam Byrnes: Greg, my father was never in the rare flower business. That was just his cover. He was in the C.I.A. for 34 years.
- Greg Focker: How could you not tell me this?
- Pam Byrnes: I wanted to, honey, but it was strictly on a "need-to-know" basis.
- Greg Focker: So, what? He's in the C.I.A.? He was a spy? He is a spy?
- Pam Byrnes: No,... (continue)(continue reading)
Teri Polo - Pam Byrnes
Ben Stiller - Greg Focker

“He's like some kind of recluse. Complete freak. No social life. In fact, no social skills. It's a strange fucking thing. When he's working, the smoothest operator you've ever seen. Brave, slick, cunning, can do anything. Soon as he gets off work, it's all gone. Afraid to go to the dry cleaners. Literally. Too uncomfortable in his own skin to go...” (continue)(continue reading)

Ben Stiller - Steve Arlo

“- Mr. Furious: What's his power?
- The Blue Raja: Well, he's terribly mysterious.
- Mr. Furious: That's it? That's his power? He's mysterious?
- The Blue Raja: Well, terribly mysterious.
- The Shoveller: Plus he can, like, cut guns in half with his mind.”

Ben Stiller - Furious
Hank Azaria - Blue Raja
William H. Macy - Shoveler

- Mary's Dad: Is it the "frank" or the "beans"?
- Ted: I don't know, both I guess.
- Warren: [from outside] "Franks" and "beans"! "Franks" and "beans"!
- Mary's Dad: Oh man! How'd you get the "beans" above the "frank"?

Keith David - Mary's Dad
Ben Stiller - Ted
W. Earl Brown - Warren

“- Ted: I just want you to be happy, Mary.
- Mary: But I'd be happier with you.
- Ted: What about Bret Fahvera?
- Mary: What did I tell you the first time we met? I'm a Niners fan!”
Ben Stiller - Ted
Cameron Diaz - Mary

“- Steve Arlo: Are you telling me that, instead of calling me, you had me fly up here so you could tell me to go straight back to the computer - and then fly back again tonight?
- Daryl Zero: It wasn't an emergency. There was no reason to risk the long-distance lines.”
Ben Stiller - Steve Arlo
Bill Pullman - Daryl Zero

- Hansel: So I'm rappelling down Mount Vesuvius when suddenly I slip, and I start to fall. Just falling, ahh ahh, I'll never forget the terror. When suddenly I realize "Holy shit, Hansel, haven't you been smoking Peyote for six straight days, and couldn't some of this maybe be in your head"?
- Derek Zoolander: And?
- Hansel: And it was. I was... (continue)(continue reading)
Owen Wilson - Hansel
Ben Stiller - Derek Zoolander

“- Ken Hutchinson: Okay, let me ask you a question, which one do you want? ’Cause we're gonna stick to this?
- David Starsky: I've always had a thing for blondes.
- Ken Hutchinson: Good, cause I'll take anything.”
Owen Wilson - Ken Hutchinson
Ben Stiller - David Starsky

“- Josh Burnbalm: The candy belongs to... Seymour Butts.
- Tony Perkis: Seymour Butts? Seymour Butts? Who's Seymour Butts, hmm? Who's Seymour Butts?
- Josh Burnbalm: Nobody's seen more butts than you, Uncle Tony!”
Shaun Weiss - Josh Burnbalm
Ben Stiller - Tony Perkis

“- Jack Byrnes: Oh, geez. I just thought of something.
- Dina Byrnes: What?
- Jack Byrnes: Pam's middle name.
- Dina Byrnes: Martha... Oh, no.
- Jack Byrnes, Dina Byrnes: Pamela Martha Focker.”
Ben Stiller - Jack Byrnes
Blythe Danner - Dina Byrnes

“- The Blue Raja: I'm the Blue Raja! I'm not Stab Man, I'm not Knifey Boy - I'm the Blue Raja.
- Mr. Furious: Yeah, that's another thing...
- The Blue Raja: What?
- Mr. Furious: Well, you could work a little blue into the uniform somewhere. I mean you've got green, you've got this little flowery thing going on, but it's like everything but...” (continue)(continue reading)
Hank Azaria - Blue Raja
Ben Stiller - Furious

“- Ted: Japan? What's she doing in Japan?
- Healy: Well, you've heard of mail-order brides? Well, they go that way too.
- Ted: What, are they desperate? She's a whale!
- Healy: You can't forget, it's a sumo culture, Ted. They pay by the pound over there. Sorta like, um, tuna.”
Ben Stiller - Ted
Matt Dillon - Healy

“I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.”
Ben Stiller - Derek Zoolander

“- Mr. Furious: Why am I doing this, again?
- The Sphinx: When you can balance a tack hammer on your head, you will head off your foes with a balanced attack.
- Mr. Furious: And why am I wearing the watermelon on my feet?
- The Sphinx: I don't remember telling you to do that.”

Ben Stiller - Furious
Wes Studi - Sphinx

“- Jack Byrnes: Greg's in medicine too.
- Dr. Bob Banks: What field?
- Greg Focker: Nursing.
- Dr. Bob Banks: Ha ha ha ha. No, really, what field are you in?
- Greg Focker: Nursing.”
Robert De Niro - Jack Byrnes
Tom McCarthy - Dr. Bob Banks
Ben Stiller - Greg Focker

“- Pam Byrnes: Take it easy on the sarcasm. Humor is entirely wasted on my parents.
- Greg Focker: What are they... Amish?”
Teri Polo - Pam Byrnes
Ben Stiller - Greg Focker

“I thought I was with a couple of real superheroes, the Shoveller and the Blue Raja! But really, it's Lazy Boy and... and... the recliner! Lazy Boy and the Recliner!”

Ben Stiller - Furious

“- Jack Byrnes: Do you want to marry her?
[Greg Focker says nothing]
- Jack Byrnes: Do you want to marry her?
- Greg Focker: I did, till I met you.”

Robert De Niro - Jack Byrnes
Ben Stiller - Greg Focker

“- Ted: I say they should put more meats on a stick, you know? They got a lot of sweets on sticks-popsicles, fudgesicles, lollipops - but hardly any meat.
- Mary: I agree, there should be more.
- Ted: You know what I'd like to see? Meat in a cone. You could put corned beef hash in a cone, or chopped liver.”
Ben Stiller - Ted
Cameron Diaz - Mary

“Congratulations, you've just joined the 76% of Americans who forget to stretch before doing any physical activity.”

Ben Stiller - Tony Perkis

“Hey Sam don't lean your head out the window. We lost a couple kids like that last summer. I'm not going to go back and pick it up again.”

Ben Stiller - Tony Perkis

“Oh look! A deli meat!”

Ben Stiller - Tony Perkis

“- Lawrence Isabella: I haven't done anything illegal.
- Truman Gates: Oh really? Well I had an interesting talk with a fellow last night who claims different. My man says you were in the back of the truck when my brother was killed.”
Ben Stiller - Lawrence Isabella
Patrick Swayze - Truman Gates

“Are you telling me you can speak six languages and fly a jetliner but you don't know how to file a tax return?”

Ben Stiller - Steve Arlo

- Mr. Furious: Am I the only one who finds these sayings just a little bit formulaic? "If you want to push something down, you have to pull it up. If you want to go left, you have to go right". It's...
- The Sphinx: Your temper is very quick, my friend. But until you learn to master your rage...
- Mr. Furious: ... your rage will become your... (continue)(continue reading)
Ben Stiller - Furious
Wes Studi - Sphinx