Bill Murray movie quotes

“Attention all campers, it's 9:30... and that's lights-out time here at Camp Northstar, 9:30 as you know. Tomorrow is parents day, and you must look rested or Morty will be sent to the state penitentiary.”
Bill Murray - Tripper

- Herman: Boy, that Dick sure knows how to drink, huh?
- Frank Cross: Why do you keep calling me "Dick"?
- Herman: I'm sorry, Mr. Burton, I guess we don't know you well enough yet to call you Dick.
Michael J. Pollard - Herman
Bill Murray - Frank Cross

“- Dr. Leo Marvin: This is black powder, Bob. One teaspoon of this stuff can blow up a tree stump. There we go!
- Bob Wiley: And, how much is this?
- Dr. Leo Marvin: Twenty pounds worth.”

Richard Stephen Dreyfuss - Dr. Leo Marvin
Bill Murray - Bob Wiley

“- Bob Wiley: You ever hear of Tourette's syndrome? Involuntarily shouting profanity?
- Dr. Leo Marvin: It's exceptionally rare.
- Bob Wiley: Shit-eating son-of-a-bitch! Bastard, douche-bag, twat, numb-nuts, dickhead, bitch!
- Dr. Leo Marvin: Why exactly are you doing this?
- Bob Wiley: If I fake it, then I don't have it.”
Bill Murray - Bob Wiley
Richard Stephen Dreyfuss - Dr. Leo Marvin

“All day long, I listen to people give me excuses why they can't work... 'My back hurts', 'my legs ache', 'I'm only four!'. The sooner he learns life isn't handed to him on a silver platter, the better!”
Bill Murray - Frank Cross

“- Dr. Raymond Stantz: Wait, wait, wait! I've always wanted to do this.
[he yanks a tablecloth off of a table, overturning and shattering everything except the centerpiece in the middle]
- Dr. Peter Venkman: [triumphantly] And the flowers are still standing!”

Dan Aykroyd - Dr. Raymond Stantz
Bill Murray - Dr. Peter Venkman

“- Roxanne: Where would I stay?
- Tripper: My place, what do you think?
- Roxanne: Is it big enough?
- Tripper: It's got a double bed. What's the matter with you, haven't you ever lived with anybody before?
- Roxanne: No. Have you?
- Tripper: Pets, you know, a dog, a fish. No, I haven't. I've never asked anybody before.”

Kate Lynch - Roxanne
Bill Murray - Tripper

“- Walter Peck: Exactly what are you a doctor of, Mr. Venkman?
- Dr. Peter Venkman: Well, I have a PhD in parapsychology and psychology.
- Walter Peck: And now, you catch ghosts?”
William Atherton - Walter Peck
Bill Murray

It reminds me of my favorite poem, which is, "Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic... and so am I!"

Bill Murray - Bob Wiley

“- Sigmund 'Siggy' Marvin: I mean, my dad just dropped me in the water, without warning me first. I mean, I nearly drowned! My whole life flashed before my eyes!
- Bob Wiley: Wow, you're lucky you're only twelve.
- Sigmund 'Siggy' Marvin: It was still grim.”
Bill Murray - Bob Wiley
Charlie Korsmo - Sigmund 'Siggy' Marvin

“Well, there's something you don't see every day.”

Bill Murray - Dr. Peter Venkman

“- Questioner: I was just wondering if you could tell me, um, if you thought drugs and alcohol would make me a better writer.
- Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: That's a good question. Let me see... In my case, you know, I hate to advocate drugs or liquor, violence, insanity to anyone. But in my case it's worked.”
Joshua Daniel - Questioner
Bill Murray - Hunter S. Thompson

“The Jews taught me this great word: Schmuck. I was a schmuck, and now I'm not a schmuck!”
Bill Murray - Frank Cross

“Would you please, for the love of god, and your own body, stop the damn hammering?”
Bill Murray - Frank Cross

“Be my friend, if you do I become the expediter of your dreams.”
Bill Murray - Frank Milo

“We're all dogfaces, we're all very, very different, but there is one thing that we all have in common: we were all stupid enough to enlist in the Army.”

Bill Murray - John

“- Bill Murray: It's 'cause I'm white, isn't it?
- Michael Jordan: No. Larry's white, so what?
- Bill Murray: Larry's not white. Larry's clear.”
Michael Jordan - Himself
Bill Murray - Himself

“Attention campers, afternoon swim schedule is as follows. Advanced dolphins, report to the dock for survival swimming and I.Q. testing. All senior silverfish, meet on the beach for nude sunbathing. All junior salmon, trout, and herring, report to the nearest delicatessen. And 6-year-old tadpoles, report to the swamp. And all lobsters, get out of...” (continue)(continue reading)
Bill Murray - Tripper

“Now I know why I have always lost women to guys like you. I mean, it's not just the uniform. It's the stories that you tell. So much fun and imagination.”

Bill Murray - John

“- Sam Lombardo: Kelly Van Ryan is accusing me of rape.
- Ken Bowden: Kelly Van Ryan? As in Sandra Van Ryan?
- Sam Lombardo: As in, I'm fucked.”
Matt Dillon - Sam Lombardo
Bill Murray - Ken Bowden

“- Russell: You could join a monastery.
- John: Did you ever see a monk get wildly fucked by some teenage girls?
- Russell: Never.
- John: So much for the monastery.”
Harold Ramis - Russell
Bill Murray - John

“- Dr. Peter Venkman: Egon, this reminds me of the time you tried to drill a hole through your head. Remember that?
- Dr. Egon Spengler: That would have worked if you hadn't stopped me.”
Bill Murray - Dr. Peter Venkman
Harold Ramis - Dr. Egon Spengler

“- Phyllis: What's that smell?
- Grimm: Used wine.”
Geena Davis - Phyllis
Bill Murray - Grimm

“- Frank Cross: I didn't know Grace's husband died.
- Ghost of Christmas Present: Oh Frank, don't you remember the time she wore black for a year?
- Frank Cross: I remember her wearing black... I thought it was a fashion thing. Everybody was wearing black!”
Bill Murray - Frank Cross
Carol Kane - Ghost of Christmas Present

“Hey, how many of you people out here are a national monument? Raise your hand, please? Oh, hello, Miss!”

Bill Murray - Dr. Peter Venkman