Bruce Willis movie quotes

You forgot the "Now I'm going to tell you what the hell is going on" step. See, that usually that comes before the, "It's over" step. And it always, always comes before the "You can go" step.
Bruce Willis - David Dunn

“- Jimmy: You ready?
- Paul: I'm ready. Let's go be great!
- Jimmy Monroe: Do you ever listen to yourself sometimes?”
Bruce Willis - Jimmy
Tracy Morgan - Paul

“- Dr. Kathryn Railly: What is the matter with your leg?
- James Cole: Got shot.
- Dr. Kathryn Railly: Shot! Who shot you?
- James Cole: I don't know. It was some kind of war. Never mind. You wouldn't believe me anyway.”
Madeleine Stowe - Kathryn Railly
Bruce Willis - James Cole

“- Rusty Duritz: How old are you?
- Russ Duritz: Forty. In a couple days.
- Rusty Duritz: That is old! I'm turning eight. In a couple days.
- Russ Duritz: Eight. You're eight. I'm eight.
- Rusty Duritz: This is scary.
- Russ Duritz: No. This is hilarious.”
Spencer Breslin - Rusty Duritz
Bruce Willis - Russ Duritz

If the Mario brothers weren't New Jersey's third-largest crime family, I'd say, "Kiss my ass". But considering your status, I will say "Slurp my butt".

Bruce Willis - Hudson Hawk

“- Jimmy Tudeski: You're about to find out if the woman you love loves you. You know, if it were me, in her position, I'd just take the money and run.
- Oz Oseransky: So what are you betting on?
- Jimmy Tudeski: I'm betting on love. Love for you means money for me.”
Bruce Willis - Jimmy Tudeski
Matthew Perry - Oz Oseransky

“- Zeus Carver: Say it! Say it!
- John McClane: What?
- Zeus Carver: You were gonna call me a nigger, weren't you?
- John McClane: No I wasn't!
- Zeus Carver: Yes you were! What were you gonna call me?
- John McClane: Asshole! How's that, asshole!”
Samuel L. Jackson - Zeus Carver
Bruce Willis - John McClane

“- Lucy Gennaro McClane: Daddy, you're out of your mind. You shot yourself!
- John McClane: It seemed like a good idea at the time.”
Mary Elizabeth Winstead - Lucy Gennaro McClane
Bruce Willis - John McClane

“- Felina: My fear is my curse. What's yours?
- John Smith: I was born without a conscience.”
Karina Lombard - Felina
Bruce Willis - John Smith

“- Frank: Look, I'm retired, okay. I'm happy. We are happy.
- Marvin: Frank... Frank... You haven't killed anybody in months.
- Frank: That is not a bad thing, okay? That's a positive thing for a lot of people.”
Bruce Willis - Frank
John Malkovich - Marvin

“- John Smith: Does your boss have a first name?
- Lucy Kolinski: Only in the bedroom.”
Bruce Willis - John Smith
Alexandra Powers - Lucy Kolinski

“Only God gets to decide who lives and who dies!”

Bruce Willis - Jeff Talley

“- Peter Fallow: Caroline, you devil.
- Caroline Heftshank: Peter, you pig!”
Bruce Willis - Peter Fallow
Beth Broderick - Caroline Heftshank

“Here she is, boys. Her name's Dallas. She ain't as sweet as she looks. She stole everything from me. You gotta watch out, 'cause she'll do you twice as fast as you'd do her.”

Bruce Willis - Muddy Grimes

“- Frank: What are you doing kissing this guy?
- Sarah: Well, I didn't wanna kill him.
- Frank: Well, what kinda stupid logic is that?”
Bruce Willis - Frank
Mary-Louise Parker - Sarah

“Always guess the cliche, and you won't be disappointed.”
Bruce Willis - Bill Capa

“I'm telling you this like a friend because if you screw this up - I would hate to... I would really hate to have to kill you. I would hate it more than mayonnaise. You know how much I hate mayonnaise.”

Bruce Willis - Jimmy Tudeski

“A very famous man once said that sincerity is everything. Once you learn to fake that, the rest is easy.”
Bruce Willis - Harrison Hill

“You're a compendium of fucking useless information.”

Bruce Willis - Jimmy

“- Tom Hardy: I've never had a woman partner before.
- Jo Christman: Neither have I.”

Bruce Willis - Det. Tom Hardy
Sarah Jessica Parker - Jo Christman

“- Simon Gruber: John... in the back of the truck you're driving, there's 13 billon dollars worth in gold bullion. I wonder would a deal be out of the question?
- John McClane: Yeah, I got a deal for you. Crawl out from that rock you're hiding under, and I'll drive this truck up your ass.
- Simon Gruber: How colorful.”

Jeremy Irons - Simon Gruber
Bruce Willis - John McClane

“- Zeus Carver: How do Catholics do their thing?
- John McClane: North, South, West, East.”

Samuel L. Jackson - Zeus Carver
Bruce Willis - John McClane

“- John McClane: You got a plan?
- Jack McClane: Not really. I kinda thought we would just wing it, you know. Running in, guns blazing. Make it up as we go.”

Bruce Willis - John McClane
Jai Courtney - Jack McClane

- Mike Mathews: It just happened, Joe. It...
- Joe Hallenbeck: Sure, sure, I know... it just happened. Could have happened to anybody. It was an accident, right? You tripped, slipped on the floor and accidentally stuck your dick in my wife. "Whoops! I'm so sorry, Mrs. H. I guess this just isn't my week".

Bruce McGill - Mike Matthews
Bruce Willis - Joe Hallenbeck

“For one reason or another I'm more screwed up than you people are.”

Bruce Willis - Bill Capa