Steve Martin movie quotes

“What a day for a mow eh?”

Steve Martin - Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli

“- Female Reporter: How long do you think it will take to find the killer?
- Clouseau: Right now the killer is being surrounded by a web of deduction, forensic science and the latest in technology such as two-way radios and e-mail.”
Alice Taglioni - Female Reporter
Steve Martin - Clouseau

“- Marty: Davis, if I take that in there and Moseby starts carrying on about how brilliant it is... I'm going to take the credit.
- Newton Davis: What? You're my friend, where are your ethics?
- Marty: My ethics are that I know this about myself, so I'm not going to take this in there and screw you over.”
Peter MacNicol - Marty
Steve Martin - Davis

Think of this as an errand. Your errand is to run across the freeway until I yell "Cut!".

Steve Martin - Bowfinger

“- Ponton: Have you ever had a hamburger?
- Clouseau: Well, of course not. It's a disgusting American food.”
Jean Reno - Ponton
Steve Martin - Clouseau

“- Shake: We're having adult time here, boys.
- Kyle Baker: No idea what that means.
- Tom Baker: Well, it's this crazy thing where grown-ups actually get to have a conversation without being interrupted by kids.”
Richard Jenkins - Shake
Shane Kinsman - Kyle Baker
Steve Martin - Tom Baker

What do you say, Gwen? "Gwen" do you get off... and "gwhere" can we "gwo"?

Steve Martin - Davis

“That's one thing I've learned about clients. Dead ones don't pay their bills.”
Steve Martin - Rigby Reardon

“First they didn't have the bamboo umbrellas for the drinks, and now snails on the food, two boobs!”

Steve Martin - Navin

“I remember how her little hand used to fit inside mine.”
Steve Martin - George Banks

“- Henry Clark: You're throwing us out?
- Mr. Mersault: Good heavens, no. Security will do that.”

Steve Martin - Henry Clark
John Marwood Cleese - Mr. Mersault

“- Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli: Are you trying to say capeesh?
- Barney Coopersmith: Yeah.
- Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli: Well don't do it, cause it hurts my ears when you do it.”
Steve Martin - Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli
Rick Moranis - Barney Coopersmith

“- Edwina Cutwater: I don't see why you're getting so upset about all this.
- Roger Cobb: Because I want my body back. And I want my freedom and my privacy. And most of all, I'd like to be able to take a leak without being fondled.”

Lily Tomlin - Edwina Cutwater
Steve Martin - Roger Cobb

“I could never be a woman, 'cause I'd just stay home and play with my breasts all day.”
Steve Martin - Harris K. Telemacher

“- Warren: My hair doesn't grow long enough to swoop it over. Besides, I think when you see a guy with his hair swooped over, you know he's doing it to cover up something.
-Larry: Yeah, if a guy has a lot of hair, he's not gonna swoop it over.”
Charles Grodin - Warren
Steve Martin - Larry

“I'm 49 years old. Admittedly, I could get away with 44, 41, maybe 38. But when you hit 50 they don't hire you anymore. It's like they can smell 50.”
Steve Martin - Bowfinger

“- Mother: Navin, it's your birthday, and it's time you knew. You're not our natural-born child.
- Navin: I'm not? You mean I'm gonna stay this color?”

Mabel King - Mother
Steve Martin - Navin

“Franck Banks… has sort of a continental ring to it.”

Steve Martin - George Banks

“- Dave: Movies cost millions of dollars to make.
- Bowfinger: That's after gross net deduction profit percentage deferment ten percent of the nut. Cash, every movie cost $2,184.”
Jamie Kennedy - Dave
Steve Martin - Bowfinger

“Boy, those French: They have a different word for everything!”
Steve Martin

“- Jimmy Dell: I think you'll find that if what you've done for them is as valuable as you say it is, if they are indebted to you morally but not legally, my experience is they will give you nothing, and they will begin to act cruelly toward you.
- Joe Ross: Why?
- Jimmy Dell: To suppress their guilt.”
Steve Martin - Jimmy Dell
Campbell Scott - Joe Ross

“Just because my grandfather didn't rape the environment and exploit the workers doesn't make me a peasant. And it's not that he didn't want to rape the environment and exploit the workers, I'm sure he did. It's just that as a barber, he didn't have that much opportunity.”
Steve Martin - Roger Cobb

“- Annie Banks: He's an independent communications consultant.
- George Banks: Independent?
- Annie Banks: Yes.
- George Banks: That's code for unemployed!”
Kimberly Williams-Paisley - Annie Banks
Steve Martin - George Banks

“- Edwina Cutwater: Guess what I'm going to do?
- Roger Cobb: What?
- Edwina Cutwater: I'm going to come back from the dead.
- Roger Cobb: Aaahhhh. And what makes you think you can do that?
- Edwina Cutwater: Because I'm rich.”
Lily Tomlin - Edwina Cutwater
Steve Martin - Roger Cobb

“- Lorraine Baker: As self-appointed in-house rep of style and hygiene, I think that I should be allotted at least five extra minutes in front of the mirror.
- Tom Baker: Three.
- Lorraine Baker: Done.”
Hilary Duff - Lorraine Baker
Steve Martin - Tom Baker