Woody Allen movie quotes

“If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.”
Woody Allen

“Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.”
Woody Allen

“I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.”
Woody Allen

“The difference between sex and death is, death you can do alone and nobody laughs at you.”
Woody Allen

“Some guy hit my fender the other day and I said unto him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.”
Woody Allen

“It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
Woody Allen

“The curtain rises on a vast primitive wasteland, not unlike certain parts of New jersey.”
Woody Allen

“Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get between the right man and the right woman.”
Woody Allen

“Human Beings are divided into mind and body, the mind embraces all the nobler aspirations, like poetry and philosophy, but the body has all the fun.”
Woody Allen

“Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.”
Woody Allen

“If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.”
Woody Allen

“There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? ”
Woody Allen

“My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.”
Woody Allen

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
Woody Allen

“Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.”
Woody Allen

“Nothing like a little post-traumatic stress disorder to make your day complete.”
Woody Allen - Z

“He's full of emotion and agony. If he says, ‘Pass the salt’, it’s like the scene where Oedipus puts out his eyes.”
Woody Allen On Joaquin Phoenix

“I think you're the opposite of a paranoid. I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.”

Woody Allen - Harry Block

“I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.”
Woody Allen

“If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.”
Woody Allen

“Save a little craziness for menopause!”

Woody Allen - Larry Lipton

“Eighty percent of success is showing up.”
Woody Allen

“Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.”
Woody Allen

“It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light and certainly not desirable as one's hat keeps blowing off.”
Woody Allen

“For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.”
Woody Allen