Advice quotes

“You can fool all the people all the time if the advice is right and the budget is big enough.”
Joseph Edward Levine

“Three things to remember when you get older: never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hard-on, and never trust a fart.”
Jack Nicholson - Edward

“To defend ourselves, and fight against assimilating this dullness into our thought processes, we must learn to read. To stimulate our own imagination, to cultivate our own consciousness, our own belief systems. We all need skills to defend, to preserve, our own minds.”
Adrien Brody - Henry Barthes

“- Radio: This is Radio. What pants do I put on?
- Coach: Just grab something...
- Radio: How 'bout this one?
- Coach: Those look fine Radio.”

Cuba Gooding Jr. - Radio
Ed Harris - Coach Jones

“- Mrs. Stephen Haines - Mary: May I suggest, if you're dressing to please Stephen, not that one. He doesn't like such obvious effects.
- Crystal Allen: Thanks for the tip. But when anything I wear doesn't please Stephen, I take it off.”
Norma Shearer - Mrs. Stephen Haines - Mary
Joan Crawford - Crystal Allen

“The worst vice is advice.”

Al Pacino - Charles Abrams

“Velma, isn't this where it's all heading anyway? Now you can fight it, or you can rock out to it!”
James Marsden - Corny Collins

“- Rod Williams: I'm mad at you because you never take my advice.
- Chris Washington: Like what?
- Rod Williams: Like don't go to a white girl's parents' house. What is she doin'? Lickin' your balls or somethin'?”
Lil Rel Howery - Rod Williams
Daniel Kaluuya - Chris Washington

“If I had my career over again? Maybe I'd say to myself, speed it up a little.”
James Stewart

“You shouldn't want them all to think the same, it is their different points of view that make the team strong. A good leader understands this. A good brother accepts it.”

Peter Donald Badalamenti II - Splinter

“Be careful Mr. Frankenstein, you toy with wrathful forces. And there's no mercy in nature.”
Andrew Scott - Inspector Turpin

“Every bird instinct I have says don't follow a dog on wheels.”

Albert Brooks - Tiberius

“If you're edged 'cause I'm weazin all your grindage, just chill. 'Cause if I had the whole brady bunch thing happenin' at my pad, I'd go grind over there, so dont tax my gig so hard-core cruster.”
Pauly Shore - Stoney Brown

“My father told me to dress to reflect the respect you have for the people around you. I've never forgotten that.”
Sam Raimi

“- Shtarker: Too bad about all the dead movie stars.
- Siegfried: Yes. What will we do without their razor-sharp political advice.”
Ken Davitian - Shtarker
Terence Stamp - Siegfried

“Be careful. You're treading on my dreams.”

Angus Macfadyen - Dupont

“You see what you gotta do is you gotta get your thumb up in there... Actually get two thumbs up there and you an be like the Fonz ya know...Heyyyy!”
Tim Meadows - Leon Phelps

“Live every day as if it were going to be your last; for one day you're sure to be right.”
Edward Woodward - Lt. Harry Harbord 'Breaker' Morant

“Throw that damn thing away before you need a tetanus shot!”

Thom Gossom Jr. - Coach Charlie Hanna

“- Tristan: Samuel, God bless you. You are good at everything you try to do. I'm sure it'll be the same with fucking.
- Samuel: Tristan, really. We're talking about my future wife.
- Tristan: Oh, you're not gonna fuck her?
- Samuel: No!
- Tristan: No?
- Samuel: No! I'm planning to be with her.
- Tristan: I recommend fucking.”
Brad Pitt - Tristan Ludlow
Henry Thomas - Samuel Ludlow

“One word of advice, never let anyone sign your checks!”
Jerry Stiller - Harvey Bushkin

“My daddy always told me to be like a duck. Stay smooth on the surface and paddle like the devil underneath!”
Kris Kristofferson - Martin 'Rubber Duck' Penwald

“He's got a little bit a Mississippi leg hound in him. If the mood catches him right, he'll grab your leg and just go to town. You don't want him around if you're wearing short pants, if you know what I mean. Word of warning though, if he does lay into ya, it's best to just let 'im finish.”

Randy Quaid - Cousin Eddie

“You wanna boycott someone? You ought to start with the goddamn barber that fucked up your head.”
Robin Harris - Sweet Dick Willie

“Sometimes even a cowboy's gotta swallow his pride to hold on to somebody he loves.”
Barry Corbin - Uncle Bob