Cheating quotes

“- Spock: Cadet Kirk, you somehow managed to install and activate a subroutine in the programming code, thereby changing the conditions of the test.
- James T. Kirk: Your point being?
- Admiral Richard Barnett: In academic vernacular, you cheated.”
Zachary Quinto - Spock
Chris Pine - James T. Kirk
Tyler Perry - Admiral Richard Barnett

“Oh, you know, the usual. Defending the rights of my broken hearted clients and try to squeeze every single penny out of their miserable cheating spouses.”
Christina Applegate - Courtney Rockcliffe

“You can't trust anything anymore, no-one is who they say they are, your life is changed forever, and the only thing to come out of the whole ugly experience is no-one will be able to break your heart like that again.”

Candice Bergen - Catherine Frazier

“- Ivan Travalian: I have done many terrible things in my life but I have never put another man's wife in my bed.
- Larry Kotzwinkle: Wasn't she married to that Spanish painter when you slept with her?
- Ivan Travalian: Don't prove me wrong, Larry, I hate it when I'm proven wrong.”
Al Pacino - Ivan Travalian
Frederic Kimball - Larry Kotzwinkle

“Your life's in the crapper. So you wife is banging a used car salesman, it's humiliating, I know. But goddamnit, Harry, take it like a man!”
Tom Arnold - Albert Gibson

“- May-Alice Culhane: His wife's not worried.
- Chantelle: Should she be?
- May-Alice Culhane: Why worry about some cripple who's got a freezer compartment for a pussy.
- Chantelle: Don't be like that.”
Mary McDonnell - May-Alice Culhane
Alfre Woodard - Chantelle

“- Cliff Vandercave: Look at those pathetic worms burrowing their lives away. Do you know why I'm up here and they're down there, Miss Stone?
- Miss Stone: Because you lied on your résumé?
- Cliff Vandercave: No. Because I have vision, and right now I have a vision of you and me dripping with coconut oil on a beach in Rockapulco with Mr. Slate's...” (continue)(continue reading)
Kyle MacLachlan - Cliff Vandercave
Halle Berry - Miss Stone

“How can we be happy behind the backs of people who trust us?”
Michelle Pfeiffer - Ellen Olenska

“It was not the custom in New York drawing rooms for a lady to get up and walk away from one gentleman in order to seek the company of another. But, the Countess did not observe this rule.”
Joanne Woodward - The Narrator

“Lady, you can't cheat at bingo. If you could, I would, but you can't. I won because I was lucky - lucky to wind up in a town full of losers!”

Earl Pastko - Mr. Skin (a.k.a. Satan)

“Fuckin' cocaine. You know, I was really so successful at everything I did. Business, politics, hell, I could handle anything... except cocaine. Only I didn't know that because of cocaine. That's what really fucked up my marriage. It wasn't anything else. And... I did go to bed with 'Renzo once or twice. Hell, it was just a coke thing. I could do...” (continue)(continue reading)
John Travolta - Governor Jack Stanton

“Jesus Christ my saviour,if you help me out with this one I promise to stop cheating on my wife with black guys. Amen.”

Nicholas Turturro - Brucie

- Jimmy: I still don't see how renting is funny.
- Virus: Well, it's not funny. It's cheating.
- Jimmy: But funny and cheating are synonyms.
- Virus: Whatever.
- Jimmy: "Whatever". Good response; I guess you win.
David Pasquesi - Jimmy
Mitch Rouse - Virus

“If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.”
W.C. Fields - Cuthbert J. Twillie

“Jean was never in love with you. She went hook, line and sinker for that Lloyd guy the minute she saw him. And she's been seeing him every time your back was turned.”

Gladys George - Panama Smith

“He shot him up with amyl-nitrite between rounds! Gillon knew that Charles Macom Diggs would never take a fall! So he put the dope in his nasal spray. How that man went the distance is anybody's guess, but there is one thing for sure, his brain didn't.”

James Woods - Gabriel Caine

“- Judge: Bailiff! Throw this jackass out of my courtroom!
- Mr. Mifflin: He's not only that! He's also a pervert! He touches himself in the mens room!
- Peggy Schuyler: And he cheated on my daddy! He had sex with a dead woman in your office!
- Burton Schuyler: You're fired Cobb!”
Harvey Vernon - Judge
Michael Ensign - Mr. Mifflin
Madolyn Smith Osborne - Peggy Schuyler
Dana Elcar - Burton Schuyler

“- Gene Okerlund: Steroids aren't used in wrestling anymore, are they Jesse?
- Jesse Ventura: Or any less.”
Gene Okerlund - Gene Okerlund
Jesse Ventura - Jesse Ventura

“- Dave: They're splitting up? Marty and Leslie?
- Donny: After eleven years!
- Vic Damico: Just goes to show you, you're never safe. Eleven years, busting his ass, bringing home the paycheck for what? He must have done something really terrible, like leave the cap off the toothpaste.
- Donny: Actually, he was sleeping with his secretary.”
Matthew Modine - Dave
Paul Reiser - Donny
Randy Quaid - Vic Damico

“Wouldn't it be funny if I went to Harvard, you went to Jail and we both ended up surrounded by crooks?”
Tom Cruise - Mitch McDeere

“- Bradley, Physical Therapist: My brother was married. One day he came home, found out she was cheating.
- Henry Turner: Cheating?
- Bradley, Physical Therapist: Doin' the serious with another man.”
Bill Nunn - Bradley, Physical Therapist
Harrison Ford - Henry Turner

“- Cow Pat Keegan: Funny what attracts people, innit?
- Dan Starkey: Sorry?
- Cow Pat Keegan: Me & Margaret. You & Margaret. You & your wife. Me & your wife. I suppose really to complete the circle, you should sleep with my wife. But I wouldn't recommend it.”
Jason Isaacs - Cow Pat Keegan
David Thewlis - Dan Starkey

“- Jack Ryan: Why was I kept out if it?
- Ritter: You weren't kept out of it, you're neck deep in it! You went before Congress and you got the money for it!”

Harrison Ford - Jack Ryan
Henry Czerny - Ritter

“- Gollum: We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious. They stole it from us. Sneaky little hobbitses. Wicked, tricksy, false!
- Smeagol: No. Not Master!
- Gollum: Yes, precious, false! They will cheat you, hurt you, lie.
- Smeagol: Master is my friend.
- Gollum: You don't have any friends; nobody likes you!”

Andy Serkis - Gollum
Andy Serkis - Smeagol

“They're an unhappy people. I would rather be a Dutchman in Holland than any German soldier. They want to believe that somebody's their friend, and that's the whole trick.”

Googie Withers - Jo de Vries