Cheating quotes

“- Colonel Mustard: How many husbands have you had?
- Mrs. White: Mine or other women's?”
Martin Mull - Colonel Mustard
Madeline Kahn - Mrs. White

“- Christian: When you thought I was the Duke, you said that you loved me, and I wondered if...
- Satine: It was just an act?
- Christian: Yes.
- Satine: Of course.
- Christian: Oh. It just felt real.”
Ewan McGregor - Christian
Nicole Kidman - Satine

“- Mitch Henessey: You're telling me that you're gonna fake some terrorist thing, just to scare some money out of Congress?
- Leland Perkins: Well, unfortunately, Mr. Hennessey, I have no idea how to fake killing 4,000 people - so we're just gonna have to do it for real. Blame it on the Muslims, naturally. Then I get my funding.”
Samuel L. Jackson - Mitch Henessey
Patrick Malahide - Perkins

“Anything can be faked by anyone.”
Harvey Keitel - Harry Houdini

“Power comes from lying. Lying big, and gettin' the whole damn world to play along with you. Once you got everybody agreeing with what they know in their hearts ain't true, you've got 'em by the balls.”
Powers Boothe - Senator Roark

“- Joe Gideon: Kate, I try to give you everything I can give.
- Kate Jagger: You give all right; presents, clothes. I just wish you weren't so generous with your cock.”
Roy Scheider - Joe Gideon
Ann Reinking - Kate Jagger

“- Eric Masters: First you rip me off, then you set up Carl, now you want to fuck my lady?
- Max Waxman: Oh, man. She came on to me, man. I swear it.
- Eric Masters: Oh, what a tragedy. I want my 600K.
- Max Waxman: I didn't have anything to do with getting Cody set up...
- Eric Masters: Do you know that your house is under surveillance? Do you...” (continue)(continue reading)
Willem Dafoe - Eric Masters
Christopher Allport - Max Waxman

“Some big-shot over at the wiener company got together with some big-shot over at the bun company and decided to rip off the American public. Because they think the American public is a bunch of trusting nit-wits who will pay for everything they don't need rather than make a stink.”
Steve Martin - George Banks

“- Velda: Marry me.
- Mike Hammer: I'd never be faithful.
- Velda: Sure you would. You'd remember my Sicilian grandmother and decide it isn't worth it.”
Laurene Landon - Velda
Armand Assante - Mike Hammer

“It's not everyday a man gets to view his wife making love from this vantage point.”

Adrien Brody - Count Nicolas De La Motte

Who are you going to believe? This boy you are knowing your whole life? Or this boy you are just meeting, who says "You shine like the light from the sun"?
Hilary Duff - Isabella Parigi

“Are you a fucking marriage counselor? What are you smiling at? I'm funny? Right? I'm an asshole? No, no, no. That's not what's funny. What's funny is her. What's funny is, that I had you two followed, because if it's not you she's sleeping with, it's someone else.”

Dan Hedaya - Julian Marty

“Where does it take place? Must be a bit awkward. I mean we've got two kids, he's got two kids not to mention a wife.”

Ben Kingsley - Robert

“The wife is always the last to know.”

Claudia Dell - Octavia

“Okay, you and the rest of your basteges can gamble, but don't try no fargin tricks, otherwise you wind up with you bells in a sling.”
Richard Dimitri - Roman Troy Moronie

“- Daniel Leeson: Glad to know you.
- Jerry Warriner: How can you be glad to know me? I know how I'd feel if I was sitting with a girl and her husband walked in.”
Ralph Bellamy - Daniel Leeson
Cary Grant - Jerry Warriner

“You don't know what they're like. You fall for them and you really love them you think this is gonna be the biggest thing since the Graf Zeppelin and the next thing, you know, they're borrowing money from you and spending it on other dames and betting on horses.”
Marilyn Monroe - Sugar Kane Kowalczyk

“With the way nature's been cheating us, I don't mind cheating her a little.”
Wilford Brimley - Ben Luckett

“- Nancy Miller: I mostly want lots of good, straight sex.
- Judith Singer: What about affection, caring, love?
- Nancy Miller: I get love from Larry. I do love Larry. And he loves me.
- Judith Singer: So why the other men?
- Nancy Miller: Because they give me what Larry can't. Passion. Excitement. Novelty.
- Judith Singer: Can't you get that...” (continue)(continue reading)
Judith Ivey - Nancy Miller
Susan Sarandon - Judith Singer

“- Tina: Eddie, we can't. Matt will kill us.
- Eddie: Fuck him!
- Tina: Fuck you.
- Eddie: Exactly. Fuck me.”
Deborah Voorhees - Tina
John Robert Dixon - Eddie

“I come home and catch you up to your nuts in Lady Shagging Godiva!”

Gwyneth Paltrow - Helen

“- IRS Insp. Frank Hall: I know I may be a little new at this but I don't think we shoot people for cheating on their taxes.
- IRS Insp. Derek Lester: Oh. You're right. You are new at this.”
Miguel A. Núñez Jr. - IRS Insp. Frank Hall
Larry Miller - IRS Insp. Derek Lester

“The modern woman always has her lovers at her wedding.”
Daphne Zuniga - Beverly Young

“- Ernesto Escobedo: Someone has been talking to the drug police.
- Felix Cortez: Now that's impossible. If anyone spoke to the police, I would be the first to know.”

Miguel Sandoval - Ernesto Escobedo
Joaquim de Almeida - Felix Cortez

“Ain't it just grand layin' there late at night in your bed, waitin' for your man to show up? And when he finally does, at oh about 4 o'clock in the mornin', with whiskey on his breath, and the smell of another woman on his person... Oh honey, I can smell another woman at 500 paces. That's a easy one to catch.”

Bette Midler - Mary Rose Foster