Christmas quotes

“In Virginia, high school football is a way of life, it's bigger than Christmas day.”
Hayden Panettiere - Sheryl Yoast

All I want fo Christmas is 2 fat bicthes with a name belt that say "glitter" on it.
Mike Epps - Day-Day

“It's Christmas Eve! It's... it's the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we... we... we smile a little easier, we... w-w-we... we... we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be!”
Bill Murray - Frank Cross

“Man, we gotta have this party we had some bad hoes coming in here! They said they gonna fuck for a buck, do something strange for a little change an you know we gonna make 'em holla for a doller.”
Mike Epps - Day-Day

“Five o'clock Christmas morning, I run downstairs and look under the tree and what do I find? Uncle Alfresco, dead on the floor, shot through the back of the head. Plus no bicycle. It was a disappointing Christmas on many levels.”
Steve Martin - Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli

“- Mr. Dark: It's a thousand years to Christmas, Mr. Holloway.
- Charles Halloway: You're wrong. It's here, in this library tonight, and can't be spoiled.
- Mr. Dark: Did Will and Jim bring it with them on the soles of their shoes? Then, we shall have to scrape them.”

Jonathan Pryce - Mr. Dark
Jason Robards - Charles Halloway

“Ho ho ho motherfucker!”

Ice Cube - Craig Jones

“- Scott Calvin: Why not? What if don't buy any of this Santa Clause thing? What if I choose not to believe it?
- Bernard: Then there would be millions of disappointed children around the world. You see, children hold the spirit of Christmas within their hearts. You don't wanna be responsible for killing the spirit of Christmas, now would you......” (continue)(continue reading)
Tim Allen - Scott Calvin
David Krumholtz - Bernard

“- Mama Meley: What you want for Christmas, child?
- J.T. Gamble: A cat. I want me this cat I found.”
Theresa Merritt - Mama Meley
Kevin Hooks - J.T. Gamble

“All I want for Christmas, Santa, is two fat bitches, 2 bags a weed and 2 bags of chips to give to the fat bitches.”
Mike Epps - Day-Day

“I believe in Santa Claus. I believe in the Easter Bunny. I believe in the Tooth Fairy. But I don't believe in you. This is battery acid. Now, you disappear!”
Dennis Christopher - Eddie Kaspbrak

“[Craig Jones walks into kitchen to discover Burglar dressed as Santa Claus eating a sandwich]
- Craig Jones: What the hell you doing in my house; eating a big ass sandwich and shit?
- Santa Claus: Nigga, I'm Santa Claus; where the fuck are the milk and cookies? ”
Ice Cube - Craig Jones
Rickey Smiley - Santa Claus

“Y'all are trying to use the lord to sell pussy on this corner. ”

Mike Epps - Day-Day

“- Kevin McCallister: Why do we have to go to Florida? There's no Christmas trees in Florida.
- Kate McCallister: Kevin, what is it with you and Christmas trees?
- Kevin McCallister: How could you have Christmas without a Christmas tree, Mom?
- Kate McCallister: Well... find a nice, fake silver one. Or decorate a palm tree.”
Macaulay Culkin - Kevin McCallister
Catherine O'Hara - Kate McCallister

“There's something about a Christmas sweater that will always make me laugh.”
Kristen Wiig

“Me, personally, I was never great at gift-giving. Maybe it’s because I never got to celebrate Christmas. I got Hanukkah. Doesn’t exactly prepare you the same way.”
Rachel Brosnahan - Miriam 'Midge' Maisel

“For Christmas, a gentile would get a bike as a reminder that their parents love them. For Hanukkah, we would get socks as a reminder that we were persecuted.”
Rachel Brosnahan - Miriam 'Midge' Maisel

“Bill-You're fired.
Sebastian-It's Christmas.
Bill-Yeah, I see the decorations. Good luck in the New Year.”
J. K. Simmons - Bill
Ryan Gosling - Sebastian

“Oh look, ugly naked guy is decorating his Christmas tree! Wow, you should see the size of his Christmas balls!”
Lisa Kudrow - Phoebe Buffay

“That is what Christmas should be about, I think - togetherness and playfulness. It's like a game.”
Billy Howle

“Letters. You don't really write many these days, do you? But I bet there's one you never forget. Send it off to a certain plump guy in a red suit and, provided you've kept your act together more or less, he'll drop off a toy or two. And yet, no one seems to wonder how the whole thing got started in the first place. This is a story about letters,...” (continue)(continue reading)
Jason Schwartzman - Jesper

“Christmas isn't just a day, it's a frame of mind... and that's what's been changing. That's why I'm glad I'm here, maybe I can do something about it.”
Edmund Gwenn - Kris Kringle

“Yeah, there's a lot of bad 'isms' floatin' around this world, but one of the worst is commercialism. Make a buck, make a buck. Even in Brooklyn it's the same - don't care what Christmas stands for, just make a buck, make a buck.”
Alvin Greenman - Alfred

And the avarice... the avarice never ends! "I want golf clubs. I want diamonds. I want a pony so I can ride it twice, get bored and sell it to make glue". Look, I don't wanna make waves, but this whole Christmas season is... stupid, stupid, stupid!
Jim Carrey - Grinch

“Remind me, please, to put him on my Christmas list, if I could figure out how to make a letter bomb.”
Jason Biggs - Jerry Falk