Date quotes

“Bakunin? Bakunin was a terrorist monster. You are not an authority on Bakunin just because you used to date every terrorist in Soviet Russia, that does not make you an authority.”

Richard Stephen Dreyfuss - Moses Wine

“- Preston Waters: When will I see you again?
- Shay Stanley: Why don't you give me a call in, let's say, 10 years?
- Preston Waters: Five.
- Shay Stanley: Seven.
- Preston Waters: Six.
- Shay Stanley: Okay, it's a date.”
Brian Bonsall - Preston Waters
Karen Duffy - Shay Stanley

“- Hank: I hope we get to know each other better.
- Irene: Yeah, me too.
- Hank: Do you swallow?”
Jim Carrey - Hank
Renee Zellweger - Irene

“I want this to be the perfect date. I haven't had a real date since I was 13-years-old.”
Michelle Williams - Marilyn Monroe

“- Paula: It's just coffee. You don't have to marry him.
- Kit: First of all, that's the geeky computer guy. It's bad enough I have to go out with a loser who still lives with his mom, but you led me to believe that it was the handsome minimum-wage slacker.
- Paula: No, I don't think that I did that.”
Sarah Jessica Parker - Paula
Zooey Deschanel - Kit

“- Kyle Kerns: Tonight's the night, Nick.
- Nick Dunbar: Gee, that sounds really romantic, Kyle, but right now I can't.”
Peter Dobson - Kyle Kerns
Arliss Howard - Nick Dunbar

“I'm not sure I ever even had a blind date!”
Peter Farrelly

“- Gus: What's great about dating homeless girls?
- Murphy: What?
- Gus: You can drop them off anywhere.”
David Arquette - Gus
Kevin Costner - Murphy

“- Willingham: How's it going, Your Majesty?
- Ralph: Great. We've got nothing in common and she's got a voice like a tuba. If she had her way, we'd have sex on a bed of nails on national television. But at least the party stinks.”

Peter O'Toole - Willingham
John Goodman - Ralph

“It's no wonder you can never get a date - sexual confusion.”

María Barranco - Carmen

“Your dates look like they haven't missed a meal since Christ died. You guys are eating like you have a date with the electric chair.”

Al Pacino - Walter

“You break her heart, I'll break your neck.”

Vin Diesel - Dominic Toretto

“- Luigi: Isn't this a little bit feminine?
- Iggy: Yes, I know. It was my ex wife's.
- Mario: But you wear this stuff?
- Spike: Yes. On occasion, we have a... date.
- Mario: Who do you date, a canary?”

John Leguizamo - Luigi Mario
Fisher Stevens - Iggy
Bob Hoskins - Mario Mario
Richard Edson - Spike

“- Richard Parker: Well, you're a half hour late.
- Larry Wilson: Only half hour? I'm usually forty-five minutes late. I'm early today.”
Jonathan Silverman - Richard Parker
Andrew McCarthy - Larry Wilson

“You cannot wear white to a casual dinner. It's too dressy.”
Dustin Hoffman - Michael Dorsey

“You should never let a chick get in your head; that's why I prefer not to even talk to my dates.”
Rob Corddry - Hater

“If you're out with this girl and even thinking about getting laid, you're finished, cuz women can smell an agenda like shit on a shoe.”

Donal Logue - Dex

“If it is ok with your Mom and Pop, would you like to go to a malt shop for a cheeseburger?”

Fisher Stevens - Ben Jahveri

“- Miles Massey: You promised to have dinner with me once you were free.
- Marylin Rexroth: I said I wouldn't whilst I wasn't, which implies no promise once I am.”
George Clooney - Miles
Catherine Zeta-Jones - Marylin

“- Andrew Largeman: I just feel like I've been going to too many of these lately.
- Sam: What? Dates?
- Andrew Largeman: You call this a date? This isn't a date. No, funerals.”
Zach Braff - Andrew Largeman
Natalie Portman - Sam

“- Arthur Dent: I have to say, without the beard you look at least 80 years younger.
- Trillian: Well, maybe I'm de-evolving?
- Arthur Dent: Ha ha!
- Trillian: Ha ha!
- Arthur Dent: Well, I should inform you that I don't date single-celled organisms.”
Martin Freeman - Arthur Dent
Zooey Deschanel - Trillian

“Why don't you stick that welding torch in my ear, and call it the end of a perfect day?”

Billy Campbell - Cliff

“- Frank Pierce: I heard you and Love went on a blind date.
- Marcus: Yeah.
- Frank Pierce: She hit you with a bottle?
- Marcus: Why you gotta bring that up? She loved me like no woman ever has.”

Nicolas Cage - Frank Pierce
Ving Rhames - Marcus

“Lying can be a very effective dating tool.”
Dave Foley - Troy

“- Paula: It would be a date if you asked me to have a drink tonight.
- Tripp: You wanna have a drink tonight?
- Paula: Can't. How about lunch tomorrow?
- Tripp: Sure. Wait. Tomorrow's Saturday.
- Paula: Sometimes I eat on Saturday.”
Sarah Jessica Parker - Paula
Matthew McConaughey - Tripp