Disease quotes

“You were right. I am diseased, and... it might be contagious somehow. I wouldn't want to infect you.”

Jeff Goldblum - Seth Brundle

“- Mr. Gruffydd: Where is the light I thought to see in your eye? Are you afraid, boy? You heard what the doctor said?
- Huw: Yes, sir.”

Walter Pidgeon - Mr. Gruffydd
Roddy McDowall - Huw

- "Handsome"(in "Suspicion") : You don't smoke, do you?
- Rigby Reardon: No, I have tuberculosis.
- "Handsome"(in "Suspicion") : Oh, thank heaven for that.

Cary Grant - "Handsome"(in "Suspicion")
Steve Martin - Rigby Reardon

“All a man wants is some fresh germs!”
Sir Christopher Lee - Doctor Catheter

I never woke from this coma, and I never will. I am what doctors call "persistent vegetative" - a vegetable. According to medical experts, I could stay like this for a very long time - brain dead, body better than ever.
Glenn Close - Sunny von Bülow

“- Shelby Munker: I try to do natural things. A lot of people in my family died of cancer. Bye.
- Ruby Spar: They... they died of cancer smoking pot?”

Marta Heflin - Shelby Munker
Margaret Ladd - Ruby Spar

“- Douglas: Your Uncle had some congestion, he was coughing most of the night sir.
- Carl: What kind of cough? Was it dry or liquidy?
- Douglas: It was just a cough sir. Next time I'll save you a sample.”
Jonathan Lynn - Douglas
Ed Begley Jr. - Carl

Give me an 'H'. Give me a 'U'. Give me a "giant pussy-licking, ass-fucker, cock, shit".
[the other cheerleaders are disturbed]
I'm sorry. That was my Tourette's.

JoAnna Garcia Swisher - Sandy Sue

“- Big Time Willie: Do you know how to spell pussy?
- Coleman 'Booger' Sykes: I know! P-U...
- Big Time Willie: ...H-I-V.”
Roger Guenveur Smith - Big Time Willie
Hill Harper - Coleman 'Booger' Sykes

Have you ever heard the phrase "too good to be true"? This kid is! His name is Jason McKnight, but they call him, "QT". Oh I knew right away he could sing, the kid had looks and charisma, but what I did not know, was that he's also suffering from biliary thrombosis. That is a liver disease. That is a terminal illness. That is what we in the... (continue)(continue reading)
Alan Blumenfeld - Bob Buss

“- Jamaal: Shit, motherfucker, you be lucky to get accepted to Duke, gettin' a 1430 on yo' SATs.
- Lee Harvey: Motherfucker, you know I had the flu.
- Jamaal: The flu, my ass! You had a motherfuckin' aneurysm to get a 1430!”
Anthony Anderson - Jamaal
Mongo Brownlee - Lee Harvey

“If we're going to fight a disease, let's fight one of the most terrible diseases of all, indifference.”
Robin Williams - Patch Adams

“- Ste Pearce: You cannot transmit the HIV virus by frottage. What's frottage?
- Jamie Gangel: It's yogurt. It's French.”

Scott Neal - Ste Pearce
Glen Berry - Jamie Gangel

“- William Lightbody: They're dead! They've been electrocuted!
- Endymion Hart-Jones: Rather a severe cure for flatulence, I do admit.”
Matthew Broderick - William Lightbody
John Neville - Endymion Hart-Jones

“I designed this whole auto pilot system. My company sold it off to almost every shipping line in the world. But when I got sick, they fired me. I had no defence, they just... threw me away. But now, I have a more aggressive defence system.”

Willem Dafoe - John Geiger

“The doctors told me it was pneumonia, but I knew what it was! A victim of the modern age! Poor, poor girl!”
Patrick Magee - Mr. Alexander

“I have their past, and you can have their future.”
Susan Sarandon - Jackie Harrison

“- John Steed: After all, according to your file, you're a psychopathic personality with schizophrenic delusions, suffering from recurring amnesia based on traumatic repression leading to outbursts of antisocial and violent behavior. Knight to king seven. Check.
- Emma Peel: Is that really what you think of me?
- John Steed: Well... just my type,...” (continue)(continue reading)
Ralph Fiennes - John Steed
Uma Thurman - Dr. Emma Peel

“Great, cancer in a box.”

Jennifer Love Hewitt - Julie James

“Crabs! You guys got crabs! That's what they called them in my day. You young people.”
Mel Welles - Druggist

- Dr. Carter: Have you ever had hepatitis?
- Regina Belmont: No. I had "mono" once though.
Geoffrey Lewis - Dr. Carter
Catherine Mary Stewart - Regina Belmont

“Mrs. Popchik, as you know, the eye is the second most sensitive organ on the human body. Your young daughter's eye muscles are extremely weak. They can barely hold up what she sees.”

“Listen, there's a bunch of people from the cemetery who are stark, staring, mad, and they'll kill you and eat you if they catch you. It's like a disease. It's like rabies, only faster, a lot faster. That's why you've got to come and get us out of here now... right now!”

Clu Gulager - Burt

Do you know how many children die every year from choking on french fries? Many more than from Adrenoleukodistrophy. You see, ours is what is known as an orphan disease, too small to be noticed, too small to be funded, especially with the iron hand of "Reganomics".
Peter Alexander Ustinov - Professor Nikolais

“You're suffering from a severe cause of full of shitness.”

Richard Pryor - Dr. Eddie Slattery