Divorce quotes

“The greater the pain the harder the recovery.”

Stockard Channing - Dr. Beth Noonan

“- Sam Brenner: Is it your birthday?
- Matty: No. My parents are getting a divorce.
- Sam Brenner: Oh. So it's like 10 birthdays.”
Adam Sandler - Brenner
Matt Lintz - Matty

“I went to Vegas for 22 years, married some absolutely charming women, and gave them all my money.”
Anthony George Newley

“I told you how to avoid divorce lawyers. You get married, and you stay married.”
Cedric the Entertainer - Lamar

“- Lauren: You know, I'm curious. With so many possible reasons, which one's the one your wife left you for?
- Jim: Cancer.
- Lauren: I'm sorry. I naturally just assumed you were divorced.
- Jim: It's okay. I naturally assumed your husband shot himself, so we're even.”
Drew Barrymore - Lauren
Adam Sandler - Jim

“- Marcy Tizard: Go back to your wife!
- Sean Kelly: My ex-wife. We're going through with the divorce.
- Marcy Tizard: They don't have divorce in Ireland.
- Sean Kelly: They do. It just got in.”
Janeane Garofalo - Marcy Tizard
David O'Hara - Sean Kelly

“- Rudy: Your ex-husband shouldn’t be living in your basement.
- Joy: Well, Dad, speaking of a proper way to be divorced.”
Robert De Niro - Rudy
Jennifer Lawrence - Joy

“Sushi. That's what my ex-wife called me: cold fish.”
Harrison Ford - Rick Deckard

“- Valerie: It's too bad Mom and Dad didn't get a divorce before you were born.
- Courtney: I love you, too.”
Robin Stille - Valerie
Jennifer Meyers - Courtney

“I can't believe I brought my real parents to our wedding.”
Brad Pitt - John Smith

“- Olivia Marshak: You don't live with her but your car still does? What else do you leave with her? A toothbrush? A pair of slippers?
- Vincent Eastman: A daughter.”

Lolita Davidovich - Olivia Marshak
Richard Tiffany Gere - Vincent Eastman

“I can never sleep with the closet door open, either. Not even a crack. Sam, this is a terrible thing to admit, but I think that one of the reasons I divorced your father was because he never believed in the closet monster.”

Dianne Wiest - Lucy

“- Freddy Nefler: You'll be much less neurotic if your parents are happily divorced, rather than unhappily married.
- Phyllis Nefler: Thank you, Phil Donahue.
- Freddy Nefler: I saw it on Oprah!”
Craig T. Nelson - Freddy Nefler
Shelley Lee Long - Phyllis Nefler

“To get over my divorce, I got a prescription to live at the Playboy Mansion for a while.”
James Caan

“Divorce is probably as painful as death.”
William Shatner

“I got nowhere else to go. The ex-wife took the whole damn planet in the divorce. All I got left is my bones.”
Karl Urban - Bones

“I'm going through a vicious divorce at the moment and will soon be penniless.”
Eric Bana - Martin Rose

“- Cliff: You don't seem like the princess bed type to me.
- Tiger: Bad marriage. She took our daughter.”
Ronald Francis Perlman - Cliff
Tom Wood - Tiger

- Alan Swann: Now, all we have to do is get from here - to there.
- Benjy Stone: It won't work!
- Alan Swann: It worked perfectly well in "A Slight Case of Divorce"!
- Benjy Stone: That was a movie! This is real life!
- Alan Swann: What is the difference?

Peter O'Toole - Alan Swann
Mark Linn-Baker - Benjy Stone

“- Fletcher Reede: You brought your kids to your divorce?
- Samantha Cole: Sympathy.
- Fletcher Reede: Well, it's working! I feel sorry for them already!”
Jim Carrey - Fletcher Reede
Jennifer Tilly - Samantha Cole

“- Dr. Leo Marvin: Are you married?
- Bob Wiley: I'm divorced.
- Dr. Leo Marvin: Would you like to talk about that?
- Bob Wiley: There are two types of people in this world: those who like Neil Diamond, and those who don't. My ex-wife loves him.
- Dr. Leo Marvin: I see. So, what you're saying is that even though you are an almost-paralyzed,...” (continue)(continue reading)
Richard Stephen Dreyfuss - Dr. Leo Marvin
Bill Murray - Bob Wiley

“- Florence: Listen, Joan Gale's body was swiped from the morgue, have you ever heard of such a thing as a death mask?
- Jim: I used to be married to one.
- Florence: Then it came to life and divorced you, I know all about that.”
Glenda Farrell - Florence
Frank McHugh - Jim

“- Corie Bratter: My divorce! When do I get my divorce?
- Paul Bratter: How should I know? The marriage license hasn't even come in yet!”
Jane Seymour Fonda - Corie Bratter
Robert Redford - Paul Bratter

“My parents put an ocean between them after the nastiest divorce ever. No joke. People study it.”
Oliver James - Jay Corgan

“- Vic Damico: This isn't your first time in a restaurant, is it?
- Lucille: No, my ex-husband used to like to eat out, may he rest in peace.
- Vic Damico: So he passed away?
- Lucille: Not yet.”
Randy Quaid - Vic Damico
Janeane Garofalo - Lucille