Divorce quotes

“- Monroe Cole: Seven million!
- Grace Sutherland: It's a negotiation.
- Grace Sutherland: You've handled dictators. You've handled terrorists.
- Monroe Cole: Terrorists were easier, I swear to God!”

Gene Hackman - Monroe Cole
Marcia Gay Harden - Grace Sutherland

“- Ricky: You live here, at a hotel?
- Harriet: My mom got it as a divorce present.”
Kevin Bacon - Ricky Schroth
Evan Rachel Wood - Harriet Frankovitz

“- Marylin Rexroth: I could have you disbarred for that.
- Miles Massey: It was worth it.
- Marylin Rexroth: A romantic divorce attorney.
- Miles Massey: You fascinate me.”

Catherine Zeta-Jones - Marylin
George Clooney - Miles

“If you want your dog back, call my lawyer.”

Debi Mazar - Regina

“I guess we just divorce our spouses, marry each other, and have this baby, right? Simple.”

Frances McDormand - Dean Sara Gaskell

“- Valentijn Gisberts: Will daddy never come back?
- Danny Gisberts: I don't know, darling. Daddy has been very mean to mommy. That's why mommy doesn't know if she wants him back. That's why mommy was mad. Now she's only sad, just like you.”
Alexander Mouissie - Valentijn Gisberts
Geert de Jong - Danny Gisberts

“- Mrs. Doubtfire: Marriage can be such a blessing.
- Miranda Hillard: So can divorce.”
Robin Williams - Mrs. Doubtfire
Sally Field - Miranda Hillard

“- Fletcher Reede: Are you marrying this guy because you're mad at me?
- Audrey Reede: No, I divorced you because I was mad at you.”
Jim Carrey - Fletcher Reede
Maura Tierney - Audrey Reede

“I'm just a kid, and I don't know what I'm doing sometimes. But I think you should know better when you're all grown up. I think you should know how to act, and how to treat people. And I think if you once loved someone enough to marry them, you should at least be nice to them, even if you don't love them anymore.”
Drew Barrymore - Casey Brodsky

“My ex-wife left me for another woman.”
Woody Allen - Isaac

“It's a beautiful thing, alimony. You lose a husband, you get a car. Think it'll help me pick up dudes?”

Diana Scarwid - Jody

- Vince Latello: My old man says, "treat broads like dirt and they love ya".
- Michael Harlan: Oh, yeah? So where's your old lady?
- Vince Latello: My parents are divorced.
Fisher Stevens - Vince Latello
John Stockwell - Michael Harlan

“- Colonel Allen Faulkner: All right. You've got the job.
- Arthur Witty: Do I have time to get a divorce?
- Colonel Allen Faulkner: Thirty-six hours.”
Richard Burton - Colonel Allen Faulkner
Kenneth Griffith - Arthur Witty

“- Clara: How are you parents, Sam? Where are they living?
- Sam: My fathers living in an apartment on Lee Road and my mother's still in the house.
- Clara: Did you hear that Charles? Sam's parents aren't living together!
- Charles: You knew that, mom! Sam's parents haven't lived together since Sam and I were in the eighth grade.
- Clara: I...” (continue)(continue reading)
Gloria Grahame - Clara
Peter Riegert - Sam
John Heard - Charles

“- Steffi: You always pick the wrong women.
- Joe: Hey, I picked you.
- Steffi: Yeah, I know, we got divorced.”
Goldie Hawn - Steffi
Woody Allen - Joe

“- Diane Lightson: How long have you been divorced?
- Chris Thorne: Four years.
- Diane Lightson: Do you still love her?
- Chris Thorne: Nah, been over her for... weeks.”
Demi Moore - Diane Lightson
Chevy Chase - Chris Thorne

“- Marie: If you love him so, why did you divorce him?
- Anna Held: Because I thought it would bring him back to me. I was sure that it would bring him back to me.”

Marcelle Corday - Marie
Luise Rainer - Anna Held

“You know, Walt, I've been married and divorced four times. I got lots of enemies, but I'm kind of short on friends.”
Richard Harris - Frank

“- Cindy Jo: Larry, darling, your guests are wondering if you're all right? What's the matter, dear?
- Larry Burrows: My parents are divorced.
- Cindy Jo: Of course they are. Everybody's parents are divorced.”
Rene Russo - Cindy Jo
Jim Belushi - Larry Burrows

“Don't worry. She won't divorce you. If she does, you can always go to the other one. She throws you out too... you can come to me.”

Anjelica Huston - Tamara

“Walter and I got a divorce. The world's a crazy place to live in, isn't it? He thought I was eccentric.”
Anne Bancroft - Estelle Rolfe

“- Lucille: A lot of other men I could have married, Eddie - still are!
- The Shoveller: I understand.
- Lucille: If one person vomits in my pool, I'm divorcing you!
- The Shoveller: That's fair.”

Jenifer Lewis - Lucille
William H. Macy - Shoveler

“Before I get through with you, you will have a clear case for divorce, and so will my wife. Now, the first thing to do is to arrange for a settlement. You take the children, your husband takes the house, Junior burns down the house, you take the insurance, and I take you.”

Groucho Marx - Groucho

“- Anna Karenina: Then you will not give me a divorce?
- Alexei Alexandrovitch Karenin: Never. Why should I? To permit you to legalize a sin? To justify your conduct and his? Never.”
Greta Garbo - Anna Karenina
Basil Rathbone - Alexei Alexandrovitch Karenin

“- Richie: All right. What do you want me to tell you? Get a fuckin' divorce, then.
- Vinny: Divorce is fuckin' evil, Ritchie. You got some fuckin' really bad advice.
- Richie: Evil spelled backwards is live.
- Vinny: You're a corny fuck, you know that?”
Adrien Brody - Richie
John Leguizamo - Vinny